For most of life I have been arm-wrestling with the propriety police. You know the rule keepers that make up the rules and make sure everyone adheres to them. There are policers that tell folks not to wear white past Labor Day, stay small and invisible, don’t make a scene, always adhere to respectable “good girl” behavior, whether it's your own hoop jumping tendencies, or what others try to define for you.
For some years I worked my darnedest to appease these "policers", as if I might earn a bag of gold (middle child syndrome.) In the old days parroting was easy for me. I was an actress for heaven sake; I can bullshit with the best of them.
Then I recognized the ridiculousness of adhering to values that weren't mine. In fact, the least (doesn’t even make the list) would be the attributes of the demure and lady-like. Why would I bow and scrape to earn approval I already possess by the mere fact that I exist, when I'm all about getting untamed and free?
I didn’t always know that I was in this arm wrestle with dutiful rule keeping until a voice inside me started growing louder and louder in protest, standing up on the inside spouting, “Hell no! This is a counterfeit for what is real, and free and good." And when the “Shamers” scolded my unceremonious reaction to the outdated rule keeping system, I began to realize, however unpopular, that I was on the right track!
It’s not an easy rub to realize that with an innate desire to fly below the radar, fit in and be accepted, you just might be the most unlikely one to upset the apple cart of propriety. And then when you continue to bump up against women struggling to possess their personal freedom, lacking a sense of personal identity and the ability to know how to get beyond “shoulding” and “over-adulting” no matter how many incantations of Bible verses they recite, shopping binges, numbing or denials nursed, you find you can no longer stay silent. And that's what necessitates passing out self-permission, personal hospitality and "get out jail free" hall passes that many women are desperate for.
Incase your wondering I am not talking about defiance for defiance safe, Jessie James rebellion, or merely ruffling feathers for feather ruffling sake. I am taking about freedom to choose and not acquiesce to others dictates even thought it's what those with good southern upbringings (and others) have been trained to do. Instead like the sentiment of the song my mom loved to play when I was growing up, I choose to be “Free to Be Me!”
Don't get me wrong; I’m like most people. I don’t like confrontation, but when silence, parroting and inner incongruence begins to kill you, you start to relearn all the lessons you learned by rote. You begin to become endeared to swear words late in life and realize that living from your freest most untamed self is the most beautiful life imaginable!
The thing holding most women back is themselves. There may be some women that don’t fit into this category. 1. The ones who are already badass and don’t care what anyone else thinks. 2. The ones so deep in denial and compliance they don’t even recognize their own need. 3. And those who are just too proud to admit it!
Are you kowtowing to the propriety police? Are you insisting on following rules to appease the rule keepers when you have full access to unconditional love and acceptance right at home where you are, within yourself?
Maybe it's time you take a hold of the Bible you’ve been thumped with and use it for your good. Love yourself, so you can love your neighbor. Stand up on the inside and say, “No!” to the propriety police.
Discover the nurture intended for you and the beauty wrapped up inside your unique expression. Take a chance. Get out of the rut and find support! We are hosting some great upcoming events like the second Untamed Creative Retreat, upcoming online classes and the classes I am offering with hundreds of other great instructors at Brave Girls University. Step out of your box and take a hold of your own "get out of jail free" card! It's yours for the taking!