Often we don’t know that we’re in resistance, because our patterns and internal stories are so familiar that we don't recognize how they’re hindering us. Ever feel like you’re in a vortex that keeps spinning around? The same old stuff surfaces, causing you to feel trapped and unable to get out. You think the rest of the world is jumping over hurdles like a champ, while you’re struggling with what feels like an invisible barrier barring you access forward. Guess what, there is a barrier! The barrier is fear.
Some common clues that you might be in resistance/fear are:
- Feelings of Anxiety and Panic
- Thinking like a Victim
- Wanting to make changes, but unable to move forward
- Replaying the same story over and over
- Thinking, "I don't have enough, or I'm not enough to do............................"
I’ve spent plenty of time in resistance and I bet you have too. I confess I kind of get elated when it comes to personally recognizing illusion wrapped up in an old story I’ve believed about the world and myself. With eyebrow raised, there’s no greater thrill than going Bonnie Parker and taking down wrongly elevated beliefs I’ve held and replacing them with the truth. I love discovering new areas of resistance and fear within myself, because unlike Bonnie, it means I can experience greater freedom, while still holding myself in none judgment.
If you read my last blog post you know that resistance equals fear and fear equals resistance. You can read my last post here.
When we off-load our fear-laden emotions, neatly place blame on others, bury or find a host of methods to avoid sitting with our emotions, we miss the important messages they carry and we fail to uncover the very thing that’s holding us back from moving into greater freedom.
Our Stories Have Different Viewing Angles
Years ago when I was a young widow with four small children longing to be married again, after witnessing men run for their life at the prospect of a woman with four small children, I couldn’t imagine I would find a man that would love me and my crew. It wasn’t until I actually began to imagine and believe in the possibility that the wall of fear and resistance around me began to crumble. And this imagining wasn’t a ‘let me take any ole man that comes along’ imagining. It was full of faith and expectation for the prize and goodness of what the Universe, Higher Power, or what I personally call God, had for my life.
Fear blinds possibility from view and keeps us in a “not enough” perspective, believing there’s a shortage in the world. Yet, all the while there's never a shortage with God. Fear alters our perception of reality and inhibits our ability to see correctly and receive in our life. All fear is a lack of faith.
Although I knew I certainly couldn’t produce a good man myself and that it would take God, deep down I questioned God’s motives or intentions toward me. I distrusted God’s goodness.
This is where blame and victim thinking comes in. Instead of getting to the crux of the matter, which is fear, we often off-load our deep-seated fear and mistrust of God onto others. We bring proof text that there isn't or wasn’t enough to go around for us.
How’s anchoring down on that been working? The truth is that it doesn’t work. It is the vortex that keeps us spinning round and round.
In my life there have been a host of ways I've clung to the "not enough" stories in my life. However, when I recognize this illusion and begin to redefine how I fundamentally view God, things shift. When I become willing to let go of my well nurtured victim stance, I start to wake up to the realty of a loving God, rather than a punishing God, my joy begins to return and my whole countenance and energy shifts. I believe.
That's what happened. I believed. Mark entered!
This is not to say that I've had to muster up faith to make something happen. It simply means the channels to receive the goodness of God that have always existed beyond time and space, were able to move that goodness and love into my life. I was able to receive it!
Interestingly, studies have shown that society at large lives from the lowest form of energy, victim and blaming energy. It’s only when we challenge these perspectives that we're able to move into a life giving vantage point that empowers and releases us into greater innovation, and life.
A Daddy’s Goodness
The kids and I were celebrating at the lake with friends one Father’s Day, having a blast riding a Jet Ski and laughing more than we’d laughed in sometime. Then the following week I began seeing Jet Ski's everywhere, pulling up next to me in traffic and ironically one parked across the street from our home. What made me stop in my tracks was one Sunday when I pulled into the church parking lot (who brings their Jet Ski to church?) to be greeted by a Jet Ski on a trailer. It’s as if the Universe was egging me on in a continuation of the Father’s Day jubilee I had experienced. I was being offered a gift in the form of a question. Are you willing to trade in your pain? Are you willing to give up your story and receive more?
Every time I saw one of those watercrafts I felt joy bubbling up inside and that’s when I heard a gentle whisper say, “I have so much I want to give you, but you have to be willing to receive it. You have to let go of your mistrust of me, victim, blaming, off-loading posture and believe.”
Joy and fear can’t co-exist. Resistance and fear block joy from flowing through our lives. Where there is fear, faith is absent. Without faith possibilities whither and our sight becomes dim.
If You Don’t Believe It You Won’t See It
One of the biggest visionaries and faith carriers I’ve ever met is my son, Joshua. Even as a child he had massive vision and faith. In third grade, although he struggled with reading and stumbling over his words, he would confidently raise his hand to read out loud in class. As an adult he loves to read and research for hours on end. He has simply refused to view the world through limitation or be defined, or reduced by it.
I too, refuse to hold myself back by holding onto an idea of limitation. You notice I said hold myself back. Well, incase you thought someone else was hindering you, you are always the one interpreting your story and hence the one in your own way!
I know you think your story is different. We all do! "There really are no good single men/women left in the world. There are no good paying jobs. God's fresh out of opportunities and that person, experience or circumstance is stopping you." What if YOU are stopping you?
Let me ask you again, are you hitting up against the same old pain, pattern, roadblock or impossibility? We all have them and we all struggle against them until we decide to see beyond the thing we’ve decided is limiting us and deal with our fear. Every time!
Where there is an absence of sight, vision and movement check in to see if fear is masquerading as truth and whether faith has been sidelined by what you’ve convinced yourself is the truth about your story and God or the Universe. I’d always rather be wrong and free than right and imprisoned by fear. How about you?
The first step to getting past resistance is to acknowledge the fear you're feeling. Feeling is the start to healing. Kindly acknowledge your fear without judging it. As you begin to face it, its power will begin to disengage.
If this resonated with you and you know you need a space to graciously debunk your stuck places, get honest about your story, unleash new creativity and step into unhindered joy and liberty in a beautiful place of hospitality, southern kindness and loads of fun, join us for the Untamed Creative Retreat. Hurry to reserve you spot. Space is limited. Find out information here.