Like many, I loved the 90’s head bopping boy band, Nsync that introduced the world to Justin Timberlake. But even as the band discovered, staying on top of what it takes to remain in sync is a challenge. If we ignore the clues signaling issues and resistance, we are likely to hit up against a wall. Often those that are action oriented, end up barreling through into misaligned territory, and incorrect fits with ego at the lead.
Facing change, challenges, and shifts isn’t easy, so sometimes we opt to move into a fear-based mode of operation to manage or avoid our uneasiness. Because fear and ego are bedmates, you won't find one without the other unless there's intentional mindfulness.
Often fear takes its seat at the helm through a victim stance, or blaming posture that gives the illusion that fear has been "managed." Attacking, blaming, fleeing, escapism, hiding and even the Type A performance syndrome can be reactive behavior expressing fear. Another word for all of this could be Resistance with a capitol R.
Resistance=fear and fear=resistance. Sadly, many of us never get beyond our reactions and deflecting actions to address it and grow past it.
I have probably used all of the above methods to deflect fear at one time or another, unaware of what I was unaware of! Then slowly, over time, I began to allow myself to sit with my feelings a little more often. Instead of sidelining them, I’ve learned to practice holding non-judgmental space and welcome for what my feelings are revealing to me.
The Downside of byPassing Awareness
Sadly, fear and resistance can cause us to make wrong choices. Fear causes many to leave relationships, rather than work through them, only to cycle back around to the same unresolved issues.
Some might opt for the shinier car, bigger promotion, grander title or degree to deflect a sense of incompetence in another area that still leaves us out of sync. And then some of us settle for shopping sprees, binging on a host of things, curling up in a helpless ball, blaming or attacking the world for the fear that's been unidentified and processed through.
Imagine if we stopped and listened to what was truly going on inside, instead of opting for the quick deflection that bypasses what’s beneath the surface? Imagine living from a place of clarity and yes, the ability to be in sync and true alignment.
Sometimes I've wished this was a onetime kind of thing, but this kind of inquiry is a lifestyle that few were given the tools to put into place. Nevertheless, it's not to late to begin. What if instead of singing, “Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye” we began to get curious about resistance and the feelings beneath it. What if we chose to experience excited anticipation about what was to come after we got quiet, and in sync about our resistance and fear. And then followed up with the appropriate next right step?
The first step to facing resistance is welcoming it instead of judging it. It's there for a reason and can inspire a wealth of new growth and insight if we will stop and listen.
Are you making space for yourself to get in sync? Are you giving your inner world time to process and grow, so that you can shift into new territory, freedom, peace, fulfillment and joy?
Join us for a time of reprieve from your busy life to do some creative listening and unsticking. Come away to the Delta for a creative coaching retreat that will leave you enlivened, recharged, inspired and newly in sync. Space is limited. For information and to register click here!
This is what some participants have said:
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