For most of life I have been arm-wrestling with the propriety police. You know the rule keepers that make up the rules and make sure everyone adheres to them. The policers that tell folks not to wear white past Labor Day, stay small and invisible, don’t make a scene, always adhere to respectable “good girl” behavior, whether it's your own hoop jumping tendencies or what others try to define for you.
For some years I worked my darnedest to appease these "policers", as if I might earn a bag of gold (middle child syndrome.) In the old days parroting was easy for me. I was an actress for heaven sake; I can bullshit with the best of them.
Then I recognized the ridiculousness of adhering to values that weren't mine. In fact, the least (doesn’t even make the list) would be the attributes of the demure and lady-like. When I'm all about getting untamed and free, why would I bow and scrape to earn approval I already possess by the mere fact that I exist? Read More
Today, my Sis and I head out for the final preparations for our first, long awaited Delta Sisters Retreat that begins on Thursday at our family farm. As challenging as this launch has been, I am determined to saver every minute of it.
In the past, I haven't always celebrated my accomplishments, perhaps because those surrounding me weren't always cheering. Nevertheless, I am learning to be my own cheerleader and twirl around in the light of my Maker's giddy acceptance, approval and down right delight in my accomplishments. I am learning to nurture my childlike heart again.
In fact, a few nights ago, before I fell a sleep, I heard the phrase, "What if you couldn't mess up?" I instantly thought about the way a good daddy's loves his little girl, beaming with acceptance no matter how many times she falls down learning to walk, or how many flat notes she sings in her spontaneous and exuberant sing-song-play. Read More
Lately, I have felt a bit overwhelmed. Not necessarily because I am doing too much, but because of the thoughts and feeling that lay beyond the action. This is what determines if I will in fact, surf the waves of overwhelm, or sink beneath them with a mouth full of water.
Every bit of new ground I navigate insights the same feelings of vulnerability exposure that you probably feel in your own life when navigating new territory. That uncomfortable feeling of being splayed wide-open accompanies risk. Risk means there is an opportunity to learn to surf new waters despite the feelings of overwhelming. Read More
When I’ve played to the crowd (you know, those times when we poll everyone else and avoid listening for our own answers) suddenly I feel anxious and overwhelmed. My peace dissipates, my body tenses and I wonder what happened.
Often the women I work with struggle with owning their own voice, desires and strength. They have spent a lifetime abdicating them, so taking the reins of their own life is foreign. Often they’ve grown up in or subjected themselves to cultural mindsets that have instilled abdicating their will.
No one wants to think of himself or herself as a victim, but honestly when we don’t take responsibility for our own choices and instead blame others; we are living from a victim stance. I’d like to say that I never do this, but I do. And so do you! Read More
Opening Amy Poehler’s book, Yes Please I see an image of her rather glowing Kindergarten progress report. I am reminded that most of us need encouragement and so we look outwardly for other’s acknowledgment to bolster ourselves up, until we learn to give ourselves the gold star of affirmation that we need.
In truth I think we’d all like to stockpile and shellac all the beautiful words, comments and gold stars others have given us on the wall of our home as trophies on display. We look outwardly for validation instead of resting inwardly in our already validated worth. Read More
Last night in The Rising Strong TM Group I am facilitating, we discussed the idea that the rationale mind sizes the world up into manageable bits and pieces, but our rationale minds often have an inaccurate scoop. There is a big fat opportunity to see beyond our present interpretations, to let go of well-worn grooves of entrenched belief, to get an upgrade to the story we’re playing.
“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” Mark Twain
When I bump up against ideas and thoughts that are not serving me, but are robbing me of peace, a sense of wellbeing and happiness, the only way out is to get curious and navigate through the illusion masquerading as truth. Read More