When I was in my early twenties struggling with an eating disorder, a young male testosterone driven friend shared with me his view of the world.
He said, “All the girls with eating disorders are so easily influenced (he really meant to get into bed) because they have such poor self-esteem and don’t realize how pretty they are. You simply tell them they're pretty and they’re yours.”
I have never forgotten his perspective or his words.
Some of us are living below the truth about who we are. Some of us have settled for a much lesser perspective about ourselves than what is true, what is good, or what is right. Some of us need to change our mind about the way we see the world and ourselves and break old agreements; some of us need an upgrade!
What if we changed our mind- instead of living from a reactive, below-value-ridden perspective, we began to influence ourselves differently? What if we actually shifted our perspective? What if the internal influences that have driven our perspectives changed and we began to take responsibility for driving our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves? What if we gave ourselves the benefit of the doubt?
Are you wondering, “How do I do that?”
Once when grief was attached to me like a fly on sticky paper, I heard an invitation in my being to choose joy. I didn’t feel joyful, but I chose to follow along, because I wanted to be free of the pain.I was encouraged to think of everything that made me happy and joyful in my lifetime. Suddenly I felt a change-taking place on the inside, as memories stirred and butterflied around my stomach. My countenance shifted and a genuine smile emerged on my face. This gave me a new track to follow instead of the old familiar groove that had been etched in my consciousness, as I choose to be deliberate in shifting the track of my thinking. To this day, I practice directing my thoughts.
Should you think I haven’t experienced the pain that you have and that this is a fluffy remedy, I have experienced a good deal of heartbreak and loss in my life and sometimes-painful memories surface. While I believe there is a real need to process through emotions and grief, rather than denying them, there is a point when its time to choose.
After loosing a husband to cancer, a mother to mental illness and a brother to suicide on Christmas, burying him on my birthday four days later, I have been intentional about taking back the holidays and my life by creating an entirely different track for myself.
Does this sound easy? It's not necessarily easy, but all it takes is a willingness to be willing to see things differently. By putting on a different pair of lenses, we show ourselves kindness. Choosing an upgrade means receiving a greater measure of love and personally I can't do that without divine assistance. Do you need an upgrade in your thinking? Try changing the way you think.