Painting In My Nightgown

Painting in gownsigned

Loss always carries with it gifts packaged and parceled out in unexpected places. Some of the greatest gifts I have received have come through the backdoor. They weren’t delivered with the spongy sweetness of cake or the sparkling enticement of frosting, but rather crept in when I least expected them, disguised by the darkness of night.

 

Loss is a natural catalyst, like lighter fluid applied to charcoal briquettes before the flame is ignited. Loss has away of being the accelerator to the kindling about to catch fire. And so now I find that my mother has left behind some of those precious accelerator gifts that weren’t readily available when she was here.

 

It’s only now that I am free to catch fire, for previously the tussled sea threatened to capsize my attempts at steadying our wobbly craft, dousing my flame with every breaking wave. It’s only now that I can ride the waves of color, become a torch upon the bow, free to stand without fear that the pirates have taken over the ship.

 

It’s the ebb and flow of releasing the struggle to button down the hatches. It’s finding a package of freedom ready to be opened, so I can release every do-good-adulting, because suddenly painting in my nightgown is liberating. When before it meant a two year old was left in charge.

 

Now I open every fuchsia and lime green present, rent to the rafters with see through connection, no separation or confusion about who’s the mom, and who’s the child. I reclaim those forgot years and now I get to paint whenever I want in my nightgown. Apparently you can paint your way into freedom if your mom was an artist that gifted you untold colorful backdoor gifts. Thanks mom for all of your color.

Day 29 Letting Go of the Rope

Poptart quote

I read the words, “…for those of us who have learned to keep secrets from ourselves and others” and stopped dead in my tracks mid sentence. This little slap of reality put words to the gap of incongruence I saw in other’s words and actions and the same incongruence I found in myself.

 

Like the time I recognized my words committing to take me in a direction that my body refused to go, digging my heels in so not to be moved. That secret incongruence popped its head above the recesses where it hid as if to say “Let go of the rope! You don’t have to keep that dead thing buoyant any longer. Let go of the rope! The world nor this relationship is yours to keep afloat.”

 

I'm learning to let go of the duty and right doing for rights-sake. I’m finding the rhythm of grace instead of the hard driving rhythm a “good girl” is taught to follow.

 

I'm recognizing the truth that lay hidden beneath the floorboards of what I’ve really felt and believed, as the easy breeze of grace relieves the lie that kept me, like so many others working hard to please. The amazing thing is that many never awaken to their inner incongruences and keep their hands taut on the rope, working hard to make things happen through sheer will.

I find it heart breaking that part of me was willing to drag the dead carcass of “what was” rather than face the freeing reality of letting go. Thankfully the Spirit within me refused to show up to that same old song and dance and coaxed me free.  

 

It always feels odd to step out of an old worn behavior. It felt odd to let go of the rope of "self-will and fixing" I’d been holding up my entire life, but it also feels amazingly good. So good that something in me wants to celebrate my awakening from the degradation of duty and all the relational and spiritual trappings that had self-righteously convinced me of their nobility. 

 

Newly discovered incongruences sometimes take time to work their way out of the body, lingering through familiar habits. Certainly I’ve had a lifetime of discovering them. But the sweet kiss of grace has blown out the cobwebs proclaiming; “You need not strive to be the “good girl” when you’ve been pronounced good so long ago.

 

Simply let go of the rope and receive.”

 

 

 

 

 

Graceful Living

ID-10036968

Recently a friend asked me why I hadn’t been blogging. I told her that I was processing, staying away from “have tos” and simply engaging in living. Actually I have been traveling, feasting on love, preparing to introduce my new book to my ladies book club and helping to walk the women I coach into the expansiveness of a fully loved identity. I try to stay connected with many of you through my regular automated posts in social media and a sprinkling of spontaneous input (no, I'm not on Facebook and Twitter all day long as it may seem!)  :-) 

 

IMG_6562

Previously I spent years striving to apprehend things off in the distance, following the model of other good strivers, exhausting myself in the cup-de-dac of behavior modification and fear of shirking some misled idea of duty with nothing to show for it but stress and exhaustion. I spent years in heartbreak clinging to what should have been, as it slipped from my fingers and off into eternity. I carried pain, but it was not the companion I was meant to embrace. Now I can't imagine a greater reality than simply enjoying and basking in a fully loved life.

When we recognize God’s breathtaking love display in the here and now, the completeness of what He's done and His overwhelming pleasure and acceptance of us, a transformational grace awakening can't help but eclipse all of our zealous self-effort and the illusion of separation we sometimes feel. And that's when we begin to live from love's overflow. 

IMG_6606

If you are worn out, run ragged by a to do list taskmaster berating you with all you must work up, and if you long to jump off into the bliss of rest and joy, soaking in a fully loved and grace filled reality, join me in the grace filled life. Out of a place of love completeness vision and purpose naturally follow, but sometimes we try to put the horse before the cart and wonder why she can't run. For further support contact me about coaching for the grace filled life at: kimber@moxieme.com

 

IMG_6598

Do Christians Have It Wrong?

Personal faithThirsty years ago my suicidal, bulimic Hollywood existence collided with a power I had never experienced. This Love so ransacked my world that I was instantaneously healed of an eating disorder that I had been plagued with for years.  I’ve never had to binge on loaves of bread, boxes of cereal or pass out from the high carbohydrate intake again. I’ve enjoyed the freedom of eating one cooking and not two bags.

 

Naively and eagerly I jumped into my new Christian world with an open heart and open hands. I followed instructions like an astute soldier, “Don’t do this” and “do a lot of that,” struggling for years to work harder to become someone acceptable and pleasing to God.

 

I excelled at this new version of self-help and peddled faster and harder to merely end up as desperate and suicidal as I had been in my old life. It was the mercy of God that I couldn’t jump as high as some hoop holders required, landing me ousted from the “insiders” club and branded as an “outsider,” still to this day by many.

This striving to placate a God-over-there, always out of reach, needing to be appeased, so He’ll show up, touch lives and bring revival, keeps the hamster wheel turning, and with it the need to always work harder, as if God was insufficient.

 

As I got in touch with a huge incongruence with this version of the Gospel and began to grasp the true nature of God’s Love, my endless need to do something to define my identity and help Him out began to erode.

 

God swung the doors of the prisons open. He never intended that fear would contain the captives instead of reveal their freedom.

 

Why do we think a bitter, schizophrenic cocktail of judgment, fear, shame and a “work harder” ethic are holy? Why do we think they entice one to love in the slightest? It’s amazing anyone stays in the faith with this message.

 

Only do-gooders and rule keepers have a stake in plumping their nests, but Jesus had nothing to do with them. He preferred the rough and tumble authenticity of real humanity.

 

One can never grasp their true identity without seeing it through the eyes of love and the eyes of the spirit. God doesn’t parcel out snippets of love to the worthy. God is Love and consistently exhibits audacious demonstrations of His nature because of who He is, despite any attempt of worthiness on our part. It never changes. There is no inside or outsider in Love.

 

Love always exists.

 

Recognizing our completeness invalidates any attempt to add to it. Seeing God, ourselves, or others through any other lens is sure to be slanted.

 

If your someone who thinks you need to work for something that’s already yours, go ahead if you want to, but I’m slipping my shoes off, taking a sip of love’s refreshing goodness, because I’ve retired from striving and seeking what’s already been lavished upon me.

 

My identity is forever secure as one that is Love-embraced. What else is there to add?

 

If you feel the need to peddle a hard yielding message and the idea of grace that you had nothing to do with just flies in the face of your set-the-world-right-heroism, please feel free to unfriend me. But guess what, even your faith is a gift and not your own.

 

As for me, I am a grateful recipient of Love’s outrageous goodness. Long gone are the days of jumping through hoops! I am complete and mystically placed smack dab into divinity. While I cannot begin to comprehend this, I am okay with being a happy recipient!

Are You Leaning In?

Lean Into the Adventure 1As my husband and I plan to relocate back to Charlotte for his work, I’m reminded that change CAN be wonderful. It CAN be an adventure. It CAN be the start of something unexpected and it CAN be joyous, if we learn to lean into the bend instead of resist what comes. That's how I am choosing to experience this summer of change. It's called reframing. If you want to hear more about reframing, you can listen to this episode of A Little Bit Vibrant and A Little Bit Moxie Radio Show

 

I’ve had a hefty portion of moving and bending in my life, like I imagine many of you have. I remember the many times as a child I had to say goodbye to those I love to launch out to make new friends in a new city. Arriving in Boston for high school as a transplant from Atlanta, I quickly earned the nickname, Georgia Peach. Another move from Memphis to New York City taught me to navigate the cement and chain link playgrounds guarded by nuns who contemplated my Southern accent.

 

Oddly, moving was easier as a child, because children are generally open and willing to welcome you into their playground. However, as an adult, I'll be honest, when I've experience no reciprocal gesture, no welcome wagon or extended arm of friendship to join in the sandbox fun, I somehow still find hope always rises for a Pollyanna, and this Pollyanna is hopeful for the path ahead.

The Pros In Every Situation

  • Change can make us flexible and teach us to look for the good in every situation.
  • When faced with isolation, we can learn to lean into personal growth.
  • When faced with “You’re not welcome at our party,” we can learn to create our own.

 

Moving and change has its challenges, but when we remain open and willing to stick our neck out, try on new situations, groups, classes, churches and the like, we might discover wonderful surprises.  That’s what I'm counting on this time around, as I reconnect with old friends, uncover new adventures, and lean into the bend. 

 

The Keys of Reframing

During this transition I am implementing the coaching skill known as: Reframing. Here is how to reframe

  • Identify your current emotion and define that what you would rather experience instead. If angry, you might rather experience peace.
  • Recognize that there is always a decision to be made before change or action can occur.
  • To reframe means to actually place something in a new frame. Change your mind and change your thinking around a situation, experience, circumstance or perspective. Do a turn around in your thinking, what you believe and how you see.
  • Learn to release and surrender your old frame, story or reference point, so you can see and experience something new. It is a choice!

 

Our first new adventure just might be our poolside-short-term lease apartment reminiscent of my early twenties, enabling us time and access to look around the area for our permanent home with studio space where I can hold workshops. Here’s to a summer of new adventures.

What summer adventures will you be enjoying this summer?

Day 14, Soulspace, 30 Days of Creative Expression

Goat 1Today I drew the Soulspace SPIRIT@WORK® Card by Lance Secretan. Immediately it made me think of the theme song from Green Acres, an American sitcom starring Eddie Albert and Eva Gabor broadcast on CBS in the early 70’s. The show told the story of a unique couple who move from New York City to a rural country farm, contrasting the husbands down home nature with his wife’s taste for finer things.

Here are the words to the theme song by Vic Mizzy,

"Green acres is the place for me.

Farm living is the life for me.

Land spreading out so far and wide.

Keep Manhattan, just give the countryside.

New York is where I'd rather stay.

I get allergic smelling hay.

I just adore a penthouse view.

Dah-ling I love you but give me Park Avenue."

We each have a soul-space that feeds our inner well.  For some people it’s the outdoors that lavishes nurturing and inspiration like a bubbling brook. For others it’s a beautiful room with sentimental reminders of love's colors, faces and fragrances.

Being rather eclectic, I have a plethora of environments that inspire me, whether dipping my toes in the blue ocean and breathing in the sea air, curling up on a comfy corner of the sofa to read by the fire, sitting under a vine covered arbor at my favorite Greek Restaurant, laughing with friends or family over a dinner party, or exposing myself to live entertainment or exhibits. It is necessary that I honor my unique soul-spaces to stay refreshed and inspired. The greatest soul-space of all is not the luxuries of the outer world, but the sacred space within that restores and refreshes from the inside out. This soul-space is best nurtured through quiet God focus and contemplation.

What is your most treasured soul-space?

Day 9-Beauty, 30 Days of Creative Expression

Beauty

Lance Secretan wrote about the BEAUTY SPIRIT@WORK ® Card, “ If we fail to see the beauty in each other, we fail to honor each other, and where there is no honor, there can be no inspiration.”

Today my thirty-day challenge: 30 Days of Creative Expression is about BEAUTY.

We’ve all heard the saying, “BEAUTY is in the eye of the beholder.” However, BEAUTY is not merely an outer reality dependent upon our various tastes and perceptions, but BEAUTY is also a state-of-being.

Have you ever noticed that one day you feel quite beautiful and the next despicable, because you’re having a bad hair day? Has anything really change from one day to the next?

What if BEAUTY was truly a state-of-being? What if you’re BEAUTY wasn’t dependent on what you felt depicted in your mirror on a certain day, but on an unchanging validation that you received by the mere fact that you exist?

If you were to truly own that love-validation how might that change your beauty-perception of yourself and others?

What You Can Learn For the Wrong Mentor

no accessI’m not a quick fix person. It took me a long time (most of my life) to recognize that I'm wired as an "innie" rather than an "outie." What does that mean? As much as I've tried to go after the bling, the moneymaking, hot selling stuff; it's never been a natural fit. I'm passionate about heart connection, authenticity and what's going on below the surface rather than merely outer drivers.

Sure, I ‘ve fallen for the dangling carrot of wanting a business a kin to the latest, greatest, best-est thing on the market, the thing that makes you thinner, smarter, sexier and comes with a sports car, but alas, that's not me. I even tried to turn my inner wiring into a well-oiled ministry gig until I discovered I had fallen for yet another heart-betraying trap.

It took a long time; I mean a long time following the "wrong fit" to actually awaken to the "right fit". The good news is that the money I’ve spent on my “what not to do” education landed me right in my “what's right for me” reality.

Although I’ve been involved with some lovely well-meaning people and programs, I’ve followed some “couldn’t be more obviously a wrong fit” mentors that ultimately helped me realize I needed to get the heck out of OZ and head back to the beautiful place called home.

There’s no fast or perfect time frame for hitting ones stride. The journey is what it is, not the destination, or the thing held up as, “when this happens I will consider myself a success.” Success is a many-layered sandwich, unique as the combined flavors.
photo:freedigitalphotos.net

The important thing is to own the journey without judgment. That means looking at the list of training programs, mentors and life experiences as powerful investments in becoming the person you truly are. If you're still investing in your growth and development, that makes you even more remarkable.

In Untamed Heart, Releasing Your Creative Genius I wrote, “Authenticity is the new lingerie!” Authenticity has sure sexy’d up my life; my heart and my ability to sniff out an ill fitting detour set to side road me away from my natural bent. 

How about you? Have you been led down side roads in search of bling, only to find yourself knee deep in mud? Are you longing for something more enduring than sparkle? Then allow your seasons of ill-matched mentors and experiences to expand your perspective and lead you back home to yourself. For investing in your inner world, check out the programs at moxieme.com, set up a session to find out about one-on-one coaching, or start by reading, Untamed Heart, Releasing Your Creative Genius here![product id="2047" sku=""]

Covered In Armor

ID-100159496Unchanging stance, feet sure and armor high describes “vulnerability armor.”  Brene’ Brown writes about this armor in her book, Daring Greatly, as something we use to shield ourselves from feeling vulnerable and exposed.

She goes on to describes what many of us have felt when we’ve vulnerably stepped out from our own armor and someone else’s protective covering turned into a weapon of “cruelty,” “cool” or “criticism” used to keep “vulnerability at a distance” and injure us for making them uncomfortable.

Brown says, “If we are the kind of people who “don’t do vulnerability,” there’s nothing that makes us feel more threatened and more incited to attack and shame people than to see someone daring greatly. Someone else’s daring provides an uncomfortable mirror that reflects back our own fears about showing up, creating, and letting ourselves be seen.”

I used to be a black and white thinker protected behind my armor. I used to be certain about everything I believed and thought. I guess you could say I was certain to be judgmental and opinionated!

Over the last few years, the way I think and see expands regularly. I am constantly confounded, glimpsing a more expansive reality than I ever imagined. My opinions (I still have them) are held loosely. My judgments are more often passed on to the man upstairs to handle. I have definitive values, beliefs and practices, but I choose to see them enlarge, rather than remain stagnant, closed off, or brittle like an old wineskin.Photo: freedigitalphotos 

I am comfortable with the fact that my perceptions and opinions may change from day to day. I am comfortable with the fact that I have previously written things I no longer agree with, or at least would communicate differently. I no longer need to live in an “either”, “or”, “good guy”, “bad guy” reality. I happily live in a more inclusive world of “and.”

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to reduce life to my ability to comprehend it. In the grand scheme of things, it’s clear there’s little any of us fully comprehends. I find it liberating to let go of the armor and the misperceived weight on my shoulders, thinking I need to be managing, fixing or micro-managing the world. This lighter perspective keeps me open and growing in new ways. It keeps me out of dogma and rhetoric and in childlike, wide-eyed wonder and discovery. It keeps me living in the present willing to reveal my imperfections. 

With this frame of reference I clue into my intuition faster. When rhetoric and pontification begin to spout, my awareness quickly signals. I understand that I have a choice to engage in an inflexible argument or reserve energy for those open and desiring true relationship and authenticity.

What about you? Do you hide behind your dogma-armor? Do you find yourself staying open to discussion, discovery and valuing relationship above all, or are you entrenched and hell bent on winning the game point?

If you want to move into the world of expansive possibility and opportunity, choose to come out from behind your armor. Practice vulnerably. Experience life through the eyes and heart of a child. A good place to start is by reading Untamed Heart, Releasing Your Creative Genius. Order here now![product id="2047" sku=""]

5 Myths "Good Girl's" Believe

lady in waiting

 

There are structures in life that keep us silenced, separated from ourselves and disconnected from our true self. One such structure is what I refer to as the “Good Girl” Syndrome. Although this structure can look noble on the outside, it is a troublesome little structure that maneuvers around the enormous elephant in the room.

This seemingly noble "Good Girl" persona is fueled through mixed messages, fear and the need to be loved. The trade off for the prize of love causes a disconnection from one's true personhood. The sad truth is: the means always outweighs the payoff. Prostituting of oneself keeps the "Good Girl" in captivity.

 

Here are the 5 myths "Good Girls" fall for in believing "Good Girl" behavior will earn them love.

 1. I Won’t Make Waves

If I don’t make waves I will be loved and accepted. The truth is if you are only loved because you are invisible you aren’t being loved. If you have to keep small, keep quiet, or placate and comply consistently to keep the peace, what you are doing is not associated with true peace or harmony in any way! This is considered playing small. Live and play big or go home!

 

2. I’ll Live with an Outward Focus Rather than Inward Focus

If I measure my actions based on what others expect of me or how they react to me (become a human thermometer) I can control my world. "Good Girls" are the top micro-managers. In an attempt to control their world, they avoid facing their ego-driven existence and trade-off for their true self. This coping method is formulated in early childhood and will eventually lead to burnout. We don’t have the ability to control the world or those in it, but we do have the power to control our reactions. Decisively choose how will you allow others to affect you or engage with you, as well as how you engage with the world.

 

3. I’ll Give Everyone Else the Benefit of the Doubt

The myth that authority figures should be protected no matter what keeps the "Good Girl" living as a victim and sets up abuse, or unhealthy relationships with those she gives her power to. This keeps the "Good Girl" fixing, care-taking, and giving everyone else the benefit of the doubt. While making what appear to be heroic concession for others “shortcomings” she abdicates her own life and power. Taking responsibility for your life puts and end to the victim trap.

 

4. I Must Sacrifice My Life for the Good of Others

By focusing on everyone else I will be offering a great service and gift to the world. The truth is focusing on everyone else is an excuse "Good Girls" use so they don’t have to pay attention to or take responsibility for their own needs, desires, choices, or fears. This is the way "Good Girls" put off and defer their life to others, unwilling to take responsibility for what they truly want. Being a living martyr is old school!  Abdicating one's life is not the same as giving it away. Claim your personal power. Make intentional choices about what you want and what you believe.  Activate personal ownership.

 

5. I Will Please

When others are happy with me I find a sense of wellbeing and a sense of myself. This is a terrible myth. You never find yourself through someone else, or your own powerlessness. You find your identity by owning your uniqueness and by knowing that the one who created you unequivocally loves you.  Pleasing others to gain approval is a sign of disloyalty to oneself. This kind of personal betrayal is hurtful and the most painful betrayal of all. Let go of the need to please for the perceived payoff it brings. Stand up on the inside and love yourself first! Claim your power!

 

These top 5 ingredients make a toxic cocktail that "Good Girls" drink!

 

Acknowledgement is the first step to healing. Then practice being kinder than you’ve ever been to yourself. Put off all outer service and commotion for a season to abstain from performance and duty. Take good care of the "Good Girl" so you can let go of the illusion, come home to your true self and get untamed!

If you would like a complementary coaching session to purse the possibilities in your life, contact me at: Kimber@moxieme.com

 

 

 

Are You Doing Church?

56813-julia

It definitely felt like an over share. You know those times you feel exposed, raw and regret what you said and wish you could take it back? Brene Brown calls it a “vulnerability hangover!”

I think my over share was a part of me that I had tried to ignore  that was screaming to be heard, so I wouldn’t squeeze myself in one more time “to play nice and make friends.” 

So I blurted out that going to church made me feel like a prostitute. There was a trade off for a service, show up, act appropriately and receive the non-relational pat on the head and group acceptance for performing adequately.

I further explained about the deep pain I felt when I opened myself up intimately and deeply during worship to have no contact with others, or real connection. Then I'd have to pick myself up, clean myself off and go home with the lingering affects that remained throughout the week until I did it again the following Sunday. 

Once I mentioned this concern about lack of relationship in church to a woman whose response was, "I've learned to accept it and move on years ago." I thought to myself, "Why do I have to accept this? I can't accept it. Its killing me!"

I feel life deeply. I see life in pictures and allegories, so often something as simple as a tragic movie plot can take me weeks to rebound from. I am empathic. I've always been this way though I’ve tried to bury, shelve and disassociate with this part of myself. The truth is this tendency is tender, beautiful and perceptive. Why would I reject this to merely fit in?

Although this intense sensory knack has existed from childhood, it wasn't until my early twenties that I first became aware of it. My husband Bill and I stopped to pick up a friend of Bill’s I’d I never met.  As soon as he got in the car my heart started breaking. I’d never felt such deep and sudden pain. I knew it wasn’t my pain, so I blurted out, “My heart is breaking and I don’t know why!" The passenger immediately yelled out, “It’s me! It’s me! I just bought a pound of pot and I shouldn’t have! You’re heart is breaking because of me!”

I've often wished that I came with an operating manual, but that would eliminate the very thing I am set up for: RELATIONSHIP! You and I are made for relationship, relationship with God and each other. Its a life long journey of learning how to understand our inner world and relationships beyond textbook theology and "how to's."

So when I over shared it was as if my insides where screaming, “Listen to me! It’s killing me to be in another setting where the focus is about  an agenda and not relationship, about doing and not being. You are spreading your legs one more time for a payoff, to be loved and liked. You shouldn’t have to work to be loved!”

It hit me square in the face. I was a working girl and my own John at the same time! I continued to send myself out looking for love, pulling up my skirt and coming home alone.

Sad. Humiliating. Embarrassing. Nevertheless, what happened was this:

  • I began to own it and I began to get free.
  • I began to stop working and started loving myself whole.
  • I began to stop busying myself to avoid feeling (like so many do.)
  • I began to comprehend that there was no separation from the love of God, period!
  • I began to let go of space holders, not chasing after anyone's love, but leaving space for the real thing.
  • I began to value myself even if others couldn’t.
  • I began to set boundaries and not let others trudge through my heart.
  • I began to have relationships where I didn't have to perform and I wasn't harmed.
  • I began to define church differently: relationally; a meal; lives shared; conversation and trust.
  • I began to comprehend being the church and not doing the church!

Are you giving yourself permission to love yourself and be well-loved in return?

If this resonated with you and you'd like help creating a healthier life, contact me for a complementary coaching session via teleconferencing to discover what coaching could do for you. Only those seriously interested in coaching apply. Email me at: kimber@moxieme.com

 

How to Uncover and Discover Your Freedom

ID-100164921My husband Mark and I love to read, learn and share our discoveries. We each have our piles of books surrounding our individual desks. We love to study and he particularly loves research. 

Recently Mark shared with me the meaning of the root word, Exile, Galah in Hebrew, which means: to uncover, remove, depart, nakedness, to make known, for God to reveal Himself and to discover the God self.  He went on to astonish me with some background information about his discovery. I previously had a powerful run in with this word, so let me explain.

There was a time in history when the Israelites were imprisoned and exiled in Egypt. A man named Jeremiah wrote a letter to the exiles instructing them how to find wholeness and peace within their captivity. He instructed them how to live differently from the thinking that had held them in captivity. 

Interestingly history reveals that Israel went into captivity as a people group, but came out of captivity as named individuals with a sense of unity and inner wholeness that manifested outwardly.


When I was a young widow, several years before beginning to date Mark, a young girl told me, out of the blue, that she felt like I was the girl Jasmine, in the animated movie Aladdin. She said she believed I felt imprisoned and that I was being held captive like Jasmine. In the movie, the religious priests were holding Jasmine the king’s daughter prisoner, much like the mindsets the Israeli exiles struggled with in their captivity.

A year or so later when Mark and I were getting to know each other and he was deciding whether to accept a job offer in another city or pursue a future with me he shared about a dream he had one night. He told me that he believed I was the girl in the dream named Jasmine! He went on to tell me that in his dream the religious priests were holding Jasmine prisoner.

Needless to say, I was stunned! I was amazed that he had received a dream about something he had no previous knowledge of and was so personal to me. So you see my own journey has been about coming out of captivity and “uncovering”, becoming naked, departing from old mindsets and learning to know and discover God for myself outside of my own captivity of thinking and structures that fostered mindsets of captivity.

What about your own transition, difficulty or exile?

If you’re wondering what is going on in the midst of your transition, shift, difficulty or what feels literally or figuratively like exile, you could be in a process to help you come into new freedom, so you can truly see. Exile can be the vehicle to help you see through the fog of ego, the mind and the will, to belief and behavior, so you can be carried into peace and wholeness of being. It can help you uncover, remove, depart from what is false, and learn to embrace your authentic nakedness. It can help to “make known” who you truly are and who you are not. It can open up the opportunities for God to reveal Himself to you and to discover God within yourself. 

Use your time of transition for a change in thinking. Become open to knew ways of doing and seeing. Use your transition as a time to be unraveled and redesigned into your truest self. Let your transitions be a time of new freedom and release. 

If you want help transitioning and regaining a sense of your true self enroll in our new 12 Week Online Program, Untamed Joy!

Untamed Joy3

 

 

 

 

[add_to_cart id="4774" sku=""]

Fall In Love

Love is the main 1

Living from the place of an untamed heart means I can choose not to posture, or dance around guarding my heart, but I can lay it on the line and be comfortable with vulnerability.

I can unbuild the walls I've erected and make space for the openness I desire. Everything begins and returns to love. I can focus on building empires and changing the world, but unless I have love its just a lot of noise. The poem that follows was a bit of Monday morning's inspiration. 

   

Fall In Love

 

Fall in love with the people that stopped loving you.

 

Fall in love with the people that never could.

Fall in love with life, its pain and redemption.
Fall in love with yourself again.

Fall in love where hardness lives,
walls and barricades and armored tanks of fear.
Lay across the road, refuse to amp up.
Don't let your heart be stolen. Choose to fall in love. 

 

How does this topic speak to you? How important is living from a place of love in your life?

Social Butterflies Need Butterfly Kisses

Pale Green ButterflyI've been through a significant amount of transition the last three years. All of this change, relocating and starting over has made me feel wobbly and relationally uncertain.

Recently I did a new assessment based on core values (I love assessments, because they’re great tools I use as a coach to help clients better understand themselves and those around them) that reminded me of a particular aspect of my personality that has been struggling. Several assessments call this the Wind, Merchant, Exhorter, or Influencer aspect of a profile.

The Fire, Builder, Prophet and Dominance part of my profile compensates well through action and results, while the social, relational, love side is starved to get my hands in the middle of relational bliss and the feeling of butterfly kisses.

Some children love it when you give them butterfly kisses by fluttering your eyelashes up against theirs, while others not so much! I recently witnessed this pleasure with our little Grandson Wyatt. Some of us simply crave social interaction. 

If you follow me on Face Book you may have seen my post reminding readers to share the love with 'Windy' souls:

“Don't forget to validate the people in your life that are the "Windy", "Exhorter", "Merchant" "Influencer" profiles. They're the ones who add a lot of sparkle and shine to the world. Let them know you appreciate their unique style of brilliance.” 

When there is an absence of love and affirmation, or a sufficient amount of relational interchange, my 'Windy' self starts to sink. Naturally relationships change and even cease through transitions, causing an absence of the Merchants core value, LOVE. 

This assessment was a great reminder that each of us moves into 'conflict strategies' when there is an absence of our core value or motivating factors present. Recognizing this can help re-energize us to show up with the very energy that we value and crave. 

How are you meeting your needs related to your core values? Not sure what your core values are? Contact me to discuss the best assessments and receive your own debriefing around them.

Emptiness Preempts Fullness

Kimberism: "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend." Melody Beattie After a long year of transitioning from a life where everything was comfortable, the house, the work and the community of long time friendships, into the transition of starting over in all arenas, I became increasingly aware of an interesting dynamic. When life feels seemingly empty there is plenty of room for vast possibilities. Seasons of barrenness are in fact what preempt growth and fullness.

In the book Transformissional Coaching by Steve Ogne and Tim Roehl they describe the process of change as:

Stage 1: Stability-where life is working fine to....

Stage 2: Discontinuity-when the old way is working less well, to...

Stage 3:-Disembedding-when we feel the current system is unsupportable, to...

Stage 4: Transition-when we haven't yet left the old or quite entered the new, to...

Stage 5: Reformation-when we decide to go for it in the new world.

Upon moving to our new home where the back yard was totally bare, I began having visions of what could be. I saw trellises of flowers climbing up the back fence, and lavish flowers cascading throughout the yard. Suddenly the barrenness of the back yard wasn’t so daunting. I understood that rather than contriving to manufacture and fill the void in certain areas of my life, I could allow room for new growth and vision to emerge organically.

If you are in a season of transition where you’re life appears to be gapping with emptiness, look past the physical into the creative realm where all possibility exists. Open yourself up for a paradigm shift where new things will emerge. Let your barrenness make way for growth that ultimately will fill and reform your place of emptiness. © Copyright 2011 Moxie Me Institute, BE U LLC. All Rights Reserved WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? To publish this article in your ezine or website please include the following blurb: Kimber Britner is president of Moxie Me Institute, Author, Speaker, Professional Coach and Innovation Expert. Moxie Me Institute helps heart-led women bring their greatness to the world by connecting them to their passion, purpose, and inspired vision. Join us to rev up your moxie and bliss!

www.moxieme.com email:kimber@moxieme.com www.facebook.com/moxieme www.twitter.com/moxiemecoaching www.linkedin.com

Engage In Your Delight

Kimberism: Make life a celebration. Recently at a book launch party for my friend Christine I watched a loving interchange between a father and his special needs son. The fifteen year old boy’s parents had thoughtfully tied colored balloons to his stroller and every now and then the boy would gleefully grab a balloon and engage in play.

I also watched as the father lovingly took his son out of the stroller to play on the grass. While the dad laid on his back he served as his son’s toy. The excited boy scooted towards his dad, and laughingly touched face to face. It was a breath taking display of affection.

I loved that the dad delightedly engaged in what delighted his son. What father wouldn't want to encourage his child's delight? Sometimes old mindsets tell us that our desires are wrong. Sometimes we hear voices in our head that ask, accusingly “Should I desire this?” or “Is it OK to want to do that?”

In the movie Chariots of Fire, a man discovered his great joy in running. Yet his sister feared that if he was successful fame would take its toll and he would not fulfill his calling. His response to her concern was that he felt God’s pleasure when he ran.

What makes you come alive and feel God’s pleasure in your life? It doesn't have to be overly complicated. There is something that brings satisfaction to you the way the balloons brought joy to this boy. If the Father were on the grass playing with you what would you be playing? What would be the game He would delight to play with you? What puts a gleam in your eye and makes your heart come alive. The Father feels pleasure when you engage in your delight.

© Copyright 2011 Moxie Me Institute, BE U LLC. All Rights Reserved

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? To publish this article in your ezine or website please include the following blurb: Kimber Britner is president of Moxie Me Institute, Author, Speaker, Professional Coach and Innovation Expert who' helps women maximize their expertise and get their gifts out into the world through one-on-one coaching, teleseminars, group coaching, events and powerful tools.  We invite you to join our community of heart-centered, spunky, women and get your moxie activated!

www.moxieme.com/ email:kimber@moxieme.com www.facebook.com/moxieme www.twitter.com/moxiemecoaching

Effortless Bliss

Kimberism: Makeovers start on the inside with a willing surrender. I have spent years of my life convinced that an intentional ,direct pursuit was the ticket to great results. However, despite my best efforts, the greatest results in my life have not come through my most strenuous efforting, but through effortlessness!

That throws a wrench in most of our ideologies. We tend to think if we do the work we will reap rewards. Funny thing is, my effortlessness has produced far greater results than any amount of hard work! I believe you might be able to say the same things if you really take a good look.

There are those that vehemently resist this kind of thinking showing glowing proof of their hard earned efforts. You can look around and see that many have found success through an ego driven win-at-all-cost-approach based on sheer will power and determination. Although success is possible with this method, in the end it is not satisfying.

Nevertheless, there are countless people who have experienced great results in the past who are suddenly feeling as if they are in the Sudan and their water supply has dried up. At a certain point we all face the inability of our own powers to do for us what we wish they could. We hack and hack and hack to fell our own forest, but at some point all woodsmen swing their last blow to sink back in exhaustion. The energizer bunny eventually burns out.

Interestingly in times like these, life has away of helping us acknowledge our need for something greater than ourselves. We have the opportunity to be ruined in a positive way. We have the opportunity to depend on something bigger than ourselves.

Imagine if instead of feeling shoe horned into these places of lack of control and limitations, we came at them from a place of effortless surrender. What if we merely tapped into a strength that far surpassed our measly offerings and effortlessly hooked up to receive a power-transfusion?

Instead of bull dozing our way through life, we can follow the trail of effortless bread crumbs, positioning ourselves at the spout to the mother-load of supply, blissfully engaging in the party, choosing to be romanced by life instead of being a slave to it.

We can enter into the feast that is already available, instead of laboring to make our own. We can be a blissful recipient of radical generosity. Instead of searching for a sip of water we can choose to bath in a geyser of joy.  Yes, we can experience the effortlessness of this kind of bliss!

The key is living from a place of child-likeness, loosing control, embracing the tension of the unknown, being willing to live in the foolishness that faith requires, while anticipating undeniable goodness as a child anticipates Christmas. We can get smart- and decided to accept the invitation to surrender to effortless bliss.

© Copyright 2011 Moxie Me Institute, BE U LLC. All Rights Reserved

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? To publish this article in your ezine or website please include the following blurb: Kimber Britner is president of Moxie Me Institute, Author, Speaker, Professional Coach and Innovation Expert who' helps women maximize their expertise and get their gifts out into the world through one-on-one coaching, teleseminars, group coaching, events and powerful tools.  We invite you to join our community of heart-centered, spunky, women and get your moxie activated!

www.moxieme.com/ email:kimber@moxieme.com www.facebook.com/moxieme www.twitter.com/moxiemecoaching

Spring's Hope

Kimberism: New life is ever present if we will receive it.

Spring offers a poignant message that has been lived out in my life over and over again. The most dramatic example was when my sweet husband Bill passed away fifteen years ago on Good Friday.

Although my shattered world was layered with winter barrenness, unbeknownst to me life was stirring below the surface. As with Easter and spring time, new life can’t be held back. New life emerged before my eyes with promise and hope.

The amazing thing about spring is that it can’t be forced, or hurried. You can’t make buds appear before their time. Yet, with no warning an unimpressive patch of earth reveals its first green shoots signaling the hope of what is to come. 

How do you hold on when you see no evidence of spring? I am a faith girl, so for me, what stands in the gap between what is and what will be is faith! Good Friday is more than a day of sorrow . It holds the sign of unending promise and power.

Are you surrounded by winter-barrenness in your life? Are you unable to see the promise of what you hope for on the horizon?

Be patient for spring will come, bringing with it new hope, new possibility and new growth. Life just can’t help itself; it keeps giving and giving and giving. Always extending newness and love. How are you positioned to receive? Are you standing ready with arms open wide for possibility? Is your tongue extended eager to soak up spring's refreshing rains? Mine is!

Moxie Me Institute helps heart-led entrepreneurial women and entrepreneur wannabes rev up their business savvy and bring their greatness, purpose and passion to the world, through live events, teleseminars, personal coaching, powerful resources, tools, and education. We invite you to join our community of heart centered, spunky, female entrepreneurs. Follow us at:

www.moxieme.com/ email:kimber@moxieme.com www.facebook.com/moxieme www.twitter.com/moxiemecoaching

Are You a Lady in Waiting?

Kimberism: “..and the day came when the risk to remain tight as a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom..”  Anais Nin

Do you feel like you are lady in waiting? Are you always putting off doing what is in you to do? Are you waiting on everyone else, while your needs stay forgotten and out of sight?

Once I was a lady in waiting. You can see me pictured above in the blue dress from my first grade play standing next to my sister the queen! I carried this role through much of my life, always striving to be the "good girl," standing on the sidelines with my gifts in hiding. You might be a lot like me.

Then one day I realized I didn't want to be 80 years old regretting that I failed to steward my life. That's when I began to get intentional about my choices. Believe me, I still have to work at choosing to be present and not dutiful. I still have to remind myself to cease from striving and simply receive.

I guess you can say that now I am a cheerleader for other ladies in waiting who are heart-centered and have something vital that the world needs! So tell me, are you hiding out? How long are you going to put off the gift that's in you that the world needs? How long are you going to tolerate the things in your life you wish were different instead of doing something about it?

If you are tired of waiting for the perfect time and want to step up in your life and learn tools now, join me for my exciting FREE telecall, How to Maximize and Monetize Your Expertise with Moxie! Tuesday April 19th 11:00 am PT (2:00 pm ET)
Moxie Me Institute helps heart-led entrepreneurial women and entrepreneur wannabes rev up their business savvy and bring their greatness, purpose and passion to the world, through live events, teleseminars, personal coaching, powerful resources, tools, and education. We invite you to join our community of heart centered, spunky, female entrepreneurs. Follow us at:

www.moxieme.com/ email:kimber@moxieme.com
www.facebook.com/moxieme
www.twitter.com/moxiemecoaching

Taking Your Creativity to the Next Level

Artist-Joshua Everett

Kimberism: "If I create from the heart, nearly everything works; if from the head, almost nothing." Marc Chagall

Being a “creative” and heart-centered entrepreneur I understand the difficulty other heart-centered and creative entrepreneurs have in monetizing what they do. In the first place most of these types never began what they do for monetary reasons. “Creatives” and heart-centered entrepreneurs are generally compelled to do what they do. “Creatives” merely create, yet often without an end in mind.

I know from my own life, starting as a singer/song writer, poet and jeweler at the age of twelve and an actress even earlier that I was made to create. Creativity has always come easily for me. I've followed the trail of inspiration often waking from a nights sleep with a new song bursting inside waiting to be released.

I believe the world needs what “creatives” and heart-centered entrepreneurs have to gift us. I believe there are many important voices that need to be released through creativity. This is why I became tenacious about figuring this stuff out. I am passionate about training women “creatives” and heart-centered entrepreneurs in the practical aspects of getting their gifts out of hiding and into the world, so they can maximize and monetize what they do through innovative strategies.

If you want to know how to get off the sidelines and into the game with your unique strengths then you need to be on my FR*EE call tomorrow (Tuesday the 5th at 11:00 am Pacific, 12:00 pm MT, 1:00 pm Central, 2:00 pm Eastern)

Here’s what you’ll learn:

  • WHY your passion translates into success and how to do the work to effectively mine yours! 
  • EXACTLY how to turn the ordinary into the extraordinary-learn those essential tools that will keep you growing and transforming, so you are always on the fore front of creating through my SKIP and SLIDE SYSTEM.
  • The importance of REALIGNING YOUR MIND so you're not sabotaging yourself, which is crucial if you want to get activated, wake up excited about your work and life, and actually make a huge difference serving the world!
  • The importance of super charged descriptors.
  • HOW to take hold of your transformers-Learn the easiest way to plug into the most powerful parts of yourself.
  • And much more! 

An important aspect of taking yourself and your gifts seriously is being diligent to steward them wisely. How are you stewarding your gifts? 

Moxie Me Institute helps heart-led entrepreneurial women and entrepreneur wannabes rev up their business savvy and bring their greatness, purpose and passion to the world, through live events, teleseminars, personal coaching, powerful resources, tools, and education. We invite you to join our community of heart centered, spunky, female entrepreneurs. Follow us at:

www.moxieme.com/ email:kimber@moxieme.com
www.facebook.com/moxieme
www.twitter.com/moxiemecoaching