I've been through a significant amount of transition the last three years. All of this change, relocating and starting over has made me feel wobbly and relationally uncertain.
Recently I did a new assessment based on core values (I love assessments, because they’re great tools I use as a coach to help clients better understand themselves and those around them) that reminded me of a particular aspect of my personality that has been struggling. Several assessments call this the Wind, Merchant, Exhorter, or Influencer aspect of a profile.
The Fire, Builder, Prophet and Dominance part of my profile compensates well through action and results, while the social, relational, love side is starved to get my hands in the middle of relational bliss and the feeling of butterfly kisses.
Some children love it when you give them butterfly kisses by fluttering your eyelashes up against theirs, while others not so much! I recently witnessed this pleasure with our little Grandson Wyatt. Some of us simply crave social interaction.
If you follow me on Face Book you may have seen my post reminding readers to share the love with 'Windy' souls:
“Don't forget to validate the people in your life that are the "Windy", "Exhorter", "Merchant" "Influencer" profiles. They're the ones who add a lot of sparkle and shine to the world. Let them know you appreciate their unique style of brilliance.”
When there is an absence of love and affirmation, or a sufficient amount of relational interchange, my 'Windy' self starts to sink. Naturally relationships change and even cease through transitions, causing an absence of the Merchants core value, LOVE.
This assessment was a great reminder that each of us moves into 'conflict strategies' when there is an absence of our core value or motivating factors present. Recognizing this can help re-energize us to show up with the very energy that we value and crave.
How are you meeting your needs related to your core values? Not sure what your core values are? Contact me to discuss the best assessments and receive your own debriefing around them.