Recently I’ve heard a really good series on the topic of false accusation, and because of the dream I had about six weeks ago on the same subject I believe it is a timely and relevant topic to blog about.
False accusation has been one of the greatest shaping and refining tools in my life. Like a sharp scalpel it has been a tool to awaken me to my true identity more than anything else. It has been the one weapon often meant for harm, to silence and shut me down, but in fact has actually secured my understanding of being a fully loved child of God. More than anything it has helped me own my voice, my moxie and uniqueness.
In one of my most profound experiences with accusation to date, I felt a directive to walk away from an environment of suspicion and accusation without defending myself. I believe this directive was in part protection from greater harm that could have incurred if I had not removed myself from the situation, not only from my lack of maturity at the time, but the lack of maturity of those who walked in suspicion and accusation toward me.
Other than the loss of my husband and brother, the feelings of being judged and accused, loss of relationships and community because of it, have been the most difficult, and painfully life-altering experience I’ve encountered. Even having the wherewithal to see the setup, cards stacked so to speak, and not have the ability to alter other’s judgments has been the greatest instructor in teaching me to let go of others perceptions and focus on altering my own.
Whether accusation comes in a literal sense or an inner challenge from messages we carry about ourselves, we have a choice whether we will allow it to silence and reduce us, or whether we allow it on one hand to settle us and on the other cause us to rise up from within.
In my recent dream, after being offered a new opportunity or promotion, I heard a woman in the hallway of the auditorium I was in loudly proclaiming words of jealous accusation and slander about me. However, the difference from this experience and previous experiences with accusation was that I immediately went out to meet her and address it. Instead of walking away, or being intimidated by the accusation, I calmly stood up to face the falsehood that was being spoken.
Although this action may in fact have very little bearing on the end result or disruption accusation can cause, it illustrates being unfettered through a secured identity that never mistakes accusation for truth.
Although at times false accusation feels large, luminous and daunting, it actually arises from redirected feelings of fear, insecurity and ineptness in those who do not know how to handle feelings of shame and inadequacy.
The Dream Speaks
Interestingly, right after my dream, accusation rose up like wildfire as falsehoods were concocted and directed at each of my children. After hearing about my kid’s experiences, I was proud that they each handled their situations with humility, authenticity and teachability, while not being crushed or intimidated by the accusers, which is the route to true promotion in life. Although jobs were lost, and their lives slimmed; they knew the accusation was not a reflection of who they truly are.
I am certain this is not the last time any of us will experience accusation, but the one thing that would have helped me previously was if I had understood that false accusation speaks more about the accuser than it speaks about the one being accused. False accusation is merely like smoke signaling a burning discontent in the life of the accuser. It is a redirect of something on a deeper level, be it jealousy, insecurity, fear, embarrassment, or envy, that causes a person to point the internal heat elsewhere.
I’ve discovered, attempts to address accusation are often futile and it’s always a tell-tell sign when an accuser paints a wide stroke of condemnation, but will not acknowledge or respond to a request for discussion. The best thing to do is to move on, whether mentally or physically.
The picture illustrated in the dream of addressing the accuser, speaks more about living from an inner reality that is unshakeable in the wake of accusation, secured by believing in one’s fully loved origin and identity.
Accusation Only Has the Power We Give It!
Although accusation has the power to alter our lives and circumstances, it also has the ability to bring us to a place of secured identity, recognizing the unchangeable value we carry apart from any other’s acknowledgement or condemnation. Although once debilitating shame caused me to retreat, I now am able to walk with a sense of joy and laughter in circles where judgments occurred. I’ve discovered we will walk in love when we know the reality of being fully loved.
False accusation has proven to be the gift that keeps on giving, as I now support other women and clients who face similar opportunities to be reduced or realigned by condemning and accusing messages.
Are You Building Up or Tearing Down?
It’s important to understand that in this world we have the opportunity to accuse or support. Owning our own voice, and determining our own opinion will only be a threat to those who function from a fear based, authoritative, accusing mode. We all have the right to our opinion, but it’s wise to determine if our opinion is against something, or supporting something.
Those trapped by fear, jealousy, envy and judgment will accuse others, and in the end be stuck in a miserable cycle of receiving the same judgment they dole out. Instead of deflecting our weaknesses on others, lets be those that choose to love and build others up. Being convinced of our fully loved identity is what makes this possible.