Most women I know look like they have it all together. However, this doesn’t by any means reveal that they actually do---they just look like they do.
In my family of origin (as in many), the appearance of “good” reigned supreme. This didn’t actually mean that things were good, but they appeared to be so and continued to roll on in this manner.
While living under this same pattern of things “appearing good,” my mom also resisted the confinement it created. Through her lifestyle of frequent moves, travel and out-of-the-norm thinking for her era, she ousted the appearance of the appropriate or good, particularly when her teen pregnancy sliced a gaping hole in the illusion.
As a child needing stability, when my mom swung hard against restraint, I swung to brace myself for the next big upheaval my gypsy momma would surprise us with. I worked to maintain a sense of control and the appearance that all was good in our out-of-control world. Sadly, my misguided overcorrection is the same one that has plagued humanity since the Garden and caused us much heartache and a propensity to gravitate toward and align with the illusion of good. That’s why we’ve settled for the appearance of the perfect Martha Stewart, all-things-in-order world. We’ve traded life for an illusion.
We trade in real sustenance for the illusion that appears to be good and right. Having been seduced by a form of rightness that is a direct antithesis of true life, we don’t even recognize the downgrade. That illusion is like a vampire sucking the life out of us until we’re so completely undone and drained of life that we’re actually positioned to encounter the real rather than the mere appearance of it!
Have you exchanged a love affair for the long distance surveillance of a spectator, while daily pounding out your desire to “know” instead of experience the mystery and intoxication of life? Sometimes I have. Sometimes I settle. When I fail to grasp the goodness and love available for me, I trade in my wide-eyed curiosity and arm myself for disappointment.
The thing is, if we believe the Universe, God or Spirit, is enduring, eternal, all-loving, life-giving and good, and crazy about us, as opposed to a deity with a whip in his hand, we’ll release our tight grip of control and give way to receive love.
Otherwise we might discover that we’ve exchanged relationship and the fullness of life and passion for an illusion. We’ve attempted to domesticate the heart, which by its very nature cannot be domesticated; it’s meant to be wild and passionate. Ever tried not to be in love with someone? We can’t tell our hearts whom to love. Sure, we can shut them down or compartmentalize our feelings and life, but in truth the heart can’t be domesticated.
Clichés Lack Life
Imagine how a lover’s expression of love that is trite, memorized or read from a Hallmark card reeks of inauthenticity and lack of depth. That’s because cliché’s fail to intoxicate; they’re not present tense. We can’t be intimate from a safe distance.
People entrenched in the use of clichés, or using only the appropriate cultural language of any tribe, exhibit an attachment to their human understanding, laws and rules. I want intoxicating life, not a counterfeit. How about you?
If you’ve lost the mystery and intoxication and settled for the appearance of life, consider this: In The World As It Is, Chris Hedges says, “All of us find God not in what we know, but in what we cannot comprehend,” It’s in this unknowing that we discover Presence, an oasis in the desert.
Perception Challenge and Exercise
How much do you engage with mystery? Do you find yourself needing finite answers, definitive understanding and planned agendas? Missing the love?
Some day, when you look back over your life, you will remember experiences and feelings of love toward and from the people who touched your life. Love will be your measure and final destination. The things you think are important in this fleeting moment will fade and be immaterial.
Enjoy the journey without thinking about the destination. Move into the expanse of spirit and discover the oasis.
Uprising! New Belief:
There is no greater destination than love. There is no greater route than love. Your journey will result in a beautiful destination, but if you merely focus on the destination, you will entirely miss the majesty available right now in a present-moment relationship.
Repeat Out Loud:
I came from Love and will return there. I am a Spirit being, so I will give attention to my spirit. I will cultivate the biggest part of myself that I’ve often neglected. I will listen for the flashing beacon of home as Spirit leads me, because I am becoming more aware of the present moment and all that is alive for me.
· Get Curious
· Let go of needing answers and move into discovery mode
· View everyday as an adventure
· Believe that I’m being sought out and pursued, because I am!
· Listen for the invitation to life and respond openly
Isn’t it time to get intoxicated with life again?
Except in part taken from Britner, Kimber, “Uprising, The Happiness Shift” A 40 Day Guide to Shift Out of Fear Into Redonkulous Joy, North Carolina, Gladdening Press, 2019, Pp. 154-159.
Want support to uplevel your intoxication with life? Find me here.
Sometimes others may feel threatened by your boundaries and their discomfort will cause a directed attack toward you. Sometimes you will pleasantly bump up against those that are able to carry their own weight and responsibility and respect you for doing the same. But what happens when your buttons get triggered?
Humanity has a very real tendency toward fickleness or what I refer to as the “Dorothy Syndrome.” Remember Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz searching outside herself for what she could only discover at home within herself?
I remember those girls that were schooled into boxes. I remember their essence and free nature before they learned to please. I remember what they were like before life was choked out of them. And I’m bringing them back home to themselves.Read More
Here’s the thing, no one’s going to pat you on the head and give you a VIN diagram of the elaborate fortification you’ve constructed for yourself. Instead, you’re going to learn how to love yourself and watch the walls fall down!Read More
Minute to minute we make judgments about value. “I like that house” or “what an ugly dress.” One minute, “I’d never pay what they’re s asking!” and the next, “I’ll have that $6 latte.” We even do it with people under our breath saying, “She’s squirrely, but he’s hot!”Read More
My natural bent is to see and find the good in difficult situations. When I am my healthiest I live appreciating the moment. I savor the beauty that is pulsating through the world and I can’t help, but exude gratitude and joy. But just because this is my innate bent doesn’t mean that I haven’t struggled with this as much as the next gal.
In Western culture shutting down our inner world to turn on the hustle is the acceptable norm over experiencing all the feelings. There’s a big difference between truly sitting with deep emotions and plastering on ‘happy’ to distract ourselves from our pain. Guess what? I’m not a proponent of counterfeit happiness.Read More
The first step to shift your energy begins by taking responsibility for your thoughts, attitudes and actions. That’s right, that one act alone begins to shift your energy from catabolic to anabolic.Read More