Minute to minute we make judgments about value. “I like that house” or “what an ugly dress.” One minute, “I’d never pay what they’re s asking!” and the next, “I’ll have that $6 latte.” We even do it with people under our breath saying, “She’s squirrely, but he’s hot!”Read More
As a kid I had a natural bent toward discovery. You probably did too. I was naturally creative, expressing life through art, singing, song writing, dance, jewelry fabrication, acting, writing and imagining an unlimited world.
By the time I was sixteen, I had an insatiable hunger for curiosity and learning, and began reading books that expressed ideas I didn’t find being explored in classrooms, pulpits, at home or through the many innovative thought leaders of our day. I couldn’t get enough of the ‘Self-help’ section in bookstores offering up thoughts on spirituality, successful living and creative thinking long before I'd heard of the coaching profession. I was a proactive seeker looking for answers and tools to navigate life.
It wasn’t until recently that I recognized this natural bent and curiosity around the way people think and the structures that have caused the perceptions and the stories we make up. Like many grown up women I've spent a great deal of time dancing between my natural wide-eyed curiosity and trying to appease puritanical poo pooing that refuses to challenge the way we think and what we think we know. That dance is exhausting and only keeps us disconnected from who we truly are.Read More
It is so easy to let the celebration of a long held dream fly under the radar. To let others lack of nurture of a vision wash over you like a wet blanket until your light is extinguished. I have felt my heart go limp with vulnerability and insecurity countless of times from a disdaining, disapproving glance, but I hope I never let such a thing buckle my vision again. And while some pretend they might be above insecurity, baby, we all have it!
When I published my first book, a book of poetry, Blood, Wine and Roses, there was no fanfare and I underplayed any whispers of congratulations that did come my way with the tones of “Don’t draw attention to yourself and don’t stand out”, because we don’t have permission for ourselves either!” All the while failing to let the joy of my personal accomplishment and the wink to self sink deep into my bones.
When I recorded Tidal Wave an album of all original songs, again there was no celebratory gathering, no “Way to go, girl” and no “You did this and you should feel good!” Instead, the culture of false humility and strong withholding prevailed.Read More
We don’t find out who we are through the eyes of others. We recognize the life of the Maker, whose signature and identity is stamped and residing within our being. It’s this beautiful recognition that will transcend the doubts in our head and the stories we’ve believed about ourselves, so we can connect with the truth about who we are.
“Discovery and recognition of the permanent identity causes it to rise to the surface like a cork which has been held under water and suddenly released.” Walter Lanyon, The Eyes of the Blind
Measuring our ability to love or be loved by those standing with us is a misconception that keeps us looking outwardly for validation instead of at the already magnificent acceptance and delight of the One who created us.Read More
Sometimes I wonder, why I’m doing this work? Holding the space for others to ‘do the work’ of developing shame resilience can be tough. I encounter plenty of shame, my own and others!
Then I remember that whether the people I work with or I do the work or not, we will all feel shame. It’s a fact. Research has shown that everyone experiences shame and the ones who talk about it the least have it the most.
Brenè Brown has taught us that shame gets triggered in face down moments when we experience something as little as a skewed look across the room to greater triggers such as, job loss, break ups, people unloving us, failure, feeling misunderstood, hearing things incorrectly, someone bouncing their shame on us, comparison, making assumptions about others, and ourselves.Read More
Last night in The Rising Strong TM Group I am facilitating, we discussed the idea that the rationale mind sizes the world up into manageable bits and pieces, but our rationale minds often have an inaccurate scoop. There is a big fat opportunity to see beyond our present interpretations, to let go of well-worn grooves of entrenched belief, to get an upgrade to the story we’re playing.
“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” Mark Twain
When I bump up against ideas and thoughts that are not serving me, but are robbing me of peace, a sense of wellbeing and happiness, the only way out is to get curious and navigate through the illusion masquerading as truth.Read More