When I’ve played to the crowd (you know, those times when we poll everyone else and avoid listening for our own answers) suddenly I feel anxious and overwhelmed. My peace dissipates, my body tenses and I wonder what happened.
Often the women I work with struggle with owning their own voice, desires and strength. They have spent a lifetime abdicating them, so taking the reins of their own life is foreign. Often they’ve grown up in or subjected themselves to cultural mindsets that have instilled abdicating their will.
No one wants to think of himself or herself as a victim, but honestly when we don’t take responsibility for our own choices and instead blame others; we are living from a victim stance. I’d like to say that I never do this, but I do. And so do you! Read More
Opening Amy Poehler’s book, Yes Please I see an image of her rather glowing Kindergarten progress report. I am reminded that most of us need encouragement and so we look outwardly for other’s acknowledgment to bolster ourselves up, until we learn to give ourselves the gold star of affirmation that we need.
In truth I think we’d all like to stockpile and shellac all the beautiful words, comments and gold stars others have given us on the wall of our home as trophies on display. We look outwardly for validation instead of resting inwardly in our already validated worth. Read More
Sometimes I wonder, why I’m doing this work? Holding the space for others to ‘do the work’ of developing shame resilience can be tough. I encounter plenty of shame, my own and others!
Then I remember that whether the people I work with or I do the work or not, we will all feel shame. It’s a fact. Research has shown that everyone experiences shame and the ones who talk about it the least have it the most.
Brenè Brown has taught us that shame gets triggered in face down moments when we experience something as little as a skewed look across the room to greater triggers such as, job loss, break ups, people unloving us, failure, feeling misunderstood, hearing things incorrectly, someone bouncing their shame on us, comparison, making assumptions about others, and ourselves. Read More