Yes, it's been ages since I've blogged. You don’t have to remind me, because I already have a pesky voice that says, “You should keep up!”
Being someone who supports women in casting off the restraints of conditioning that’s knocked the wind out of their sails and tamed them into someone other than themselves, I find "shoulds" tiresome. They’re only helpful if we recognize that they’re alerting us to something. It we pay attention to the signal, we might ask ourselves:
What’s the choice and what’s the abdication of one? Read More
Today I woke up feeling the frenzy of my to do list, and a low rumbling anxiety about all that appears to be on my plate. However, I knew that that was not what I wanted to feel, so I circled back around and took stock.
For heaven sakes, in a couple of days we are closing on the purchase of a home after six years of relocations and change. A new sense of thankfulness couldn't help but rise up loud and strong instantly restoring my giddiness!
This has been a long season of letting go, free falling, forward movement in the form of rest, acceptance, realignment and learning a whole new level of self-care that I had never known and that I can only give myself. It has also been a season of cultivating thankfulness. Read More
There are a lot of things that aren’t in my wheelhouse. For instance, I’m terrible at math. I would never try to offer you my mathematical expertise. Want to witness a comedy routine? Watch my sister and I tally up a bill.
Sports? Not so much. I was raised by a single mom and I was usually one of the last to be picked for school sports teams. I don’t even understand football for goodness sakes. And all you OCD folks, I’m pretty darn sure I’m eliminated from your ranks, because I loathe house cleaning!
If you’re like me you find yourself “over adulating” more frequently than you’d like to admit and then suddenly you feel rusty like the Tin Man needing a good fix of oil.
I was recently talking about this with a friend of mine. You see we both recognize that we’re rather serious, task oriented girls. While this has its perks (being quite good at getting things done) it can also lead to detours of the heart, betraying what really matters with a sudden “I can handle it resolve.” Remember how Dorothy led her crew on a mission, got detained in a field of poppies, washed and buffed in Emerald city all before returning home to find what she had been missing all along, herself. Been there done that!
Although I am task oriented, I am probably the biggest initiator of socializing of anyone I know (with the exception of my sister, the party girl.) I am always ready for adventure and regularly dreaming up socialization and fun, because I know the heavy toil of living without it! Read More
Today, my Sis and I head out for the final preparations for our first, long awaited Delta Sisters Retreat that begins on Thursday at our family farm. As challenging as this launch has been, I am determined to saver every minute of it.
In the past, I haven't always celebrated my accomplishments, perhaps because those surrounding me weren't always cheering. Nevertheless, I am learning to be my own cheerleader and twirl around in the light of my Maker's giddy acceptance, approval and down right delight in my accomplishments. I am learning to nurture my childlike heart again.
In fact, a few nights ago, before I fell a sleep, I heard the phrase, "What if you couldn't mess up?" I instantly thought about the way a good daddy's loves his little girl, beaming with acceptance no matter how many times she falls down learning to walk, or how many flat notes she sings in her spontaneous and exuberant sing-song-play. Read More
Lately, I have felt a bit overwhelmed. Not necessarily because I am doing too much, but because of the thoughts and feeling that lay beyond the action. This is what determines if I will in fact, surf the waves of overwhelm, or sink beneath them with a mouth full of water.
Every bit of new ground I navigate insights the same feelings of vulnerability exposure that you probably feel in your own life when navigating new territory. That uncomfortable feeling of being splayed wide-open accompanies risk. Risk means there is an opportunity to learn to surf new waters despite the feelings of overwhelming. Read More
What woman doesn’t know the importance of her girl friends and the wealth they add to life? Two are better than one, because a friend is there to help carry the load, lift you up when you fall and be the one to make you laugh when you take yourself too seriously.
I have always loved doing life with women friends, but I’m also passionate about women awakening to the goods they carry, getting out from under duty and obligation, half-hearted living, and coming home to true identity.
There’s nothing I’d rather do than invest in and encourage a woman’s journey of discovering her dreams, a grand awakening of self-realization, learning to choose and navigate relationships with those who have her back, appreciate her intrinsic value and beauty and never fail to cheer her on. That’s the great stuff about sisterhood or what some have coined "sistering". Read More
When I’ve played to the crowd (you know, those times when we poll everyone else and avoid listening for our own answers) suddenly I feel anxious and overwhelmed. My peace dissipates, my body tenses and I wonder what happened.
Often the women I work with struggle with owning their own voice, desires and strength. They have spent a lifetime abdicating them, so taking the reins of their own life is foreign. Often they’ve grown up in or subjected themselves to cultural mindsets that have instilled abdicating their will.
No one wants to think of himself or herself as a victim, but honestly when we don’t take responsibility for our own choices and instead blame others; we are living from a victim stance. I’d like to say that I never do this, but I do. And so do you! Read More
Opening Amy Poehler’s book, Yes Please I see an image of her rather glowing Kindergarten progress report. I am reminded that most of us need encouragement and so we look outwardly for other’s acknowledgment to bolster ourselves up, until we learn to give ourselves the gold star of affirmation that we need.
In truth I think we’d all like to stockpile and shellac all the beautiful words, comments and gold stars others have given us on the wall of our home as trophies on display. We look outwardly for validation instead of resting inwardly in our already validated worth. Read More
Love is an eternal substance that supersedes all else. Defying what is comprehendible to the natural mind and sight, there is nothing that can hinder Love from reaching and apprehending even what is considered “unreachable.” Mysteriously supernatural Love changes and alters the most barred and reluctant hearts. There is nothing greater.
Words are mere vapors that lack the ability to truly define or describe Love’s reality, yet Love’s generosity is instantly distinguishable. We know the difference between what is real and what is half hearted or duty driven. Lovers always give more than mere slaves.
The springtime aroma of welcome and acceptance released by Love is immediately recognizable. It’s only when we’ve tasted and feasted on Love that we abandon that which is stale and regurgitated. Our palettes won’t allow us to go back to that which is rote, stagnant and toxic to our souls. Read More
When was the last time you gave yourself to adventure? Has it been a while?
Can you remember a standout moment(s) where you moved outside the mundane and adventured?
When was the last time you gave yourself time and space to feel the wind in your hair and the sun kiss across your cheek. Have you given yourself time to lean in and listen, to apply mounds of nurture and the joyous celebration of ‘sistering’ your soul and spirit, lately?
Do you remember the last time you breathed in a lilac’s scent, like the waft of springtime romance, instead of pounding down the pavement of duty and responsibility? When was the last time you made beautiful, wide-open space for yourself? Read More
What’s in the cave?” asks Luke. Yoda responded, “Only what you take with you.”
What one of us doesn’t enter the vulnerable dark cave of isolation, disappointment, anger, hurt and fear, alone? While standing face to face with the screeching shrill of our imaginings and italicized stories, we only truly face ourselves.
Many of us have spent a life time trying to out run the vulnerable darkness, redirected through pointed fingers, or flailing our way out of a deep resting look within, through busyness, perfection, attempting to control everything around us, acting out, or the sugary sweet niceness of denial. Read More
I’ve determined that successful living is mostly about the art of composting.
The beautiful skill of taking shit and turning it into a growth accelerant of deep, rich value is, mere genius. How have we missed this?
I don’t know about you, but I have fun mystical conversations with God. Sometimes they are around a movie, an experience, a word or line I hear someone say in passing, a storefront window display, or anything God uses to speak to me. Read More
In one of our juicy early morning conversations, my husband and I we’re discussing the coaching term ‘staying out of the box’ that means refraining from trying to “fix” another person by telling them how they “should” navigate their own life.
Being recovering “fixers” we highly value coaching as a modality. Through the coaching code of ethics, coaches honor clients as the expert of their own life, rather than the helping professional, or person that inadvertently shows up as the self-appointed guru.
Shaming behavior shows up when people fight over words, weaponizing language and using words as a sword that divides and separates. This reveals a limited cultural mindset. I consistently try to use words that are outside of certain cultural paradigms, because I don’t want to be reduced by language used to box me in or define me in someone else’s limited mindset. Read More
As a professional life coach I naturally love personality assessments. However, you can't personality test your spirit!
Personality assessments are great tools to help us understand and then lean into our natural bent. The problem is what we assume is our natural bent is often nothing more than a learned coping mechanism ego constructed for survival. Read More
I used to be of the persuasion that God was pushing and requiring things of me that I didn’t want to do them. These things might be: joining in an activity or group that I truly wasn’t interested in and didn’t enjoy. I still hear people stating that they feel “called” to something they don’t want to do for the betterment of others, believing their soul purpose of being in a setting is to change or fix others! Read More