In Western culture shutting down our inner world to turn on the hustle is the acceptable norm over experiencing all the feelings. There’s a big difference between truly sitting with deep emotions and plastering on ‘happy’ to distract ourselves from our pain. Guess what? I’m not a proponent of counterfeit happiness.Read More
This morning I'm sitting on the sofa with a to do list in hand, so exhausted that I can barely move. The onset of renovating our new home is going well, but the physical work is extremely taxing and I'm not even the one doing the bulk of it! Late nights of work and happy planning are requiring the hubster and I to dig deep. Welcome to a snippet of my midlife reality. :)
Nevertheless in the midst of the strain I find "thank yous" and "hallelujahs" rising. Thanksgiving always seems to smooth out the rough road for me. It lifts my sightline and keeps my focus on what is real, rather than temporary.Read More
Like many, I loved the 90’s head bopping boy band, Nsync that introduced the world to Justin Timberlake. But even as the band discovered, staying on top of what it takes to remain in sync is a challenge. If we ignore the clues signaling issues and resistance, we are likely to hit up against a wall. Often those that are action oriented, end up barreling through into misaligned territory, and incorrect fits with ego at the lead.
Facing change, challenges, and shifts isn’t easy, so sometimes we opt to move into a fear-based mode of operation to manage or avoid our uneasiness. Because fear and ego are bedmates, you won't find one without the other unless there's intentional mindfulness.
For most of life I have been arm-wrestling with the propriety police. You know the rule keepers that make up the rules and make sure everyone adheres to them. The policers that tell folks not to wear white past Labor Day, stay small and invisible, don’t make a scene, always adhere to respectable “good girl” behavior, whether it's your own hoop jumping tendencies or what others try to define for you.
For some years I worked my darnedest to appease these "policers", as if I might earn a bag of gold (middle child syndrome.) In the old days parroting was easy for me. I was an actress for heaven sake; I can bullshit with the best of them.
Then I recognized the ridiculousness of adhering to values that weren't mine. In fact, the least (doesn’t even make the list) would be the attributes of the demure and lady-like. When I'm all about getting untamed and free, why would I bow and scrape to earn approval I already possess by the mere fact that I exist?Read More
Lately, I have felt a bit overwhelmed. Not necessarily because I am doing too much, but because of the thoughts and feeling that lay beyond the action. This is what determines if I will in fact, surf the waves of overwhelm, or sink beneath them with a mouth full of water.
Every bit of new ground I navigate insights the same feelings of vulnerability exposure that you probably feel in your own life when navigating new territory. That uncomfortable feeling of being splayed wide-open accompanies risk. Risk means there is an opportunity to learn to surf new waters despite the feelings of overwhelming.Read More
When was the last time you gave yourself to adventure? Has it been a while?
Can you remember a standout moment(s) where you moved outside the mundane and adventured?
When was the last time you gave yourself time and space to feel the wind in your hair and the sun kiss across your cheek. Have you given yourself time to lean in and listen, to apply mounds of nurture and the joyous celebration of ‘sistering’ your soul and spirit, lately?
Do you remember the last time you breathed in a lilac’s scent, like the waft of springtime romance, instead of pounding down the pavement of duty and responsibility? When was the last time you made beautiful, wide-open space for yourself?Read More
I sat there as if in a warm bubble bath soaking up the kindness, for truly it seemed like ages since I had received that kind of help. Some of us learned as survival methods that help wasn't coming, so we had to take care of ourselves and soldier on. Sometimes we are attached to the idea that things will be hard. This sad perspective is truly heartbreaking. Imagine putting that kind of yoke on a young child.Read More