Armor Down

me & crownVulnerability is like the children we ‘re trying to clean up, spit flat stray-hair-strands and wipe away the P and J stained-residue from our lives.

Most of us learned early that our tender, vulnerable selves weren’t going to fair very well in our families, or the world at large, so we quickly devised a means to “armor” up.  I learned quickly that people weren’t comfortable with pain. Any expression of heartache or emotion made those who were taller and wiser, wince.

I learned to take on the illusion of “taking care of myself” while having no idea how to take care of my pain. I learned to bury it.

Most adults never received the pain management manual either, and that's why we don’t like to let things lie. We are so uncomfortable with a cloud of vulnerability filling the air that we try to tidy it up with our spray on sanitizer. We try to make the atmosphere palatable. We’re desperate to add finishing touches on displays of emotions.

The best way to observe this is listen to conversations, or observe one on Facebook! There will always be some brave soul exposing raw emotions and running amok in the stoic party. What most often follows is, discounting; adding trite endings; backing away; shielding with indifference and superiority; or muscling up with anger; negating and debating the sentiment. This is all done in an attempt to clean up the messiness of vulnerability.

Most of us struggle with knowing what to say when deep, painful and vulnerable feelings are expressed. The thing is as adults we have the opportunity to navigate our discomfort and stay present. We can choose to be okay with the beauty of raw, human vulnerability and emotion. We can grow and we can understand that all the outer armor intended to protect our egos and our outer worlds will never satisfy the deeper longing in our hearts of truly connecting and belonging.

 What if we didn’t abandon each other in our vulnerability? What if we didn’t try to fix, didn’t feel the need to come up with answers, but merely remained present, as Brene’ Brown defines as, “sitting on the same side of the table?”

What if instead of distancing ourselves from the awkwardness and the plethora of uncomfortable emotions we sometimes feel, we chose to armor down?

I’m game are you?

If you’re brave and willing to risk the discomfort of vulnerability for the greater reward of connection and belonging, join our regular conversation on and

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