Kimberism: When your buttons get triggered it is about you not the other person. We all have internal buttons that remain unnoticed until they get triggered. A common response when a button gets triggered is anger and the inclination to strike out, blame or attack. When buttons get triggered rather than choosing to action, we often find ourselves reacting. Do you recognize the tendency to lash out at others, or lash out inwardly when your buttons get triggered?
Buttons get pushed when a sensitive area is touched, as if pressure is placed on an old injury. When you feel your pulse beginning to rise its helpful to stop and ask yourself what you are afraid of. Although the emotion you feel may not seems to relate to fear, if you look a deeper you might found that the root is based in fear. Stepping back from the emotion and evaluating the can begin to defuse it.
Recently my buttons were pushed and my response was most definitely to lash out and defend myself. However, I began to recognize that the person pushing my buttons was only doing so because her buttons had been pushed. Her fears were causing her to guard her turf, which triggered my own reactions. When I recognized this I was able to take a deep breath, and let go of the offense. It doesn't mean that the issues are resolved, but it does mean that I will choose how I want to respond rather than reacting.
The next time your buttons get triggered try asking yourself, "What fear is being triggered by the circumstance?" and then choosing how you want to act rather than react. Pushing may help to defuse your pushed button.
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