Day 29 Letting Go of the Rope

Poptart quote

I read the words, “…for those of us who have learned to keep secrets from ourselves and others” and stopped dead in my tracks mid sentence. This little slap of reality put words to the gap of incongruence I saw in other’s words and actions and the same incongruence I found in myself.


Like the time I recognized my words committing to take me in a direction that my body refused to go, digging my heels in so not to be moved. That secret incongruence popped its head above the recesses where it hid as if to say “Let go of the rope! You don’t have to keep that dead thing buoyant any longer. Let go of the rope! The world nor this relationship is yours to keep afloat.”


I'm learning to let go of the duty and right doing for rights-sake. I’m finding the rhythm of grace instead of the hard driving rhythm a “good girl” is taught to follow.


I'm recognizing the truth that lay hidden beneath the floorboards of what I’ve really felt and believed, as the easy breeze of grace relieves the lie that kept me, like so many others working hard to please. The amazing thing is that many never awaken to their inner incongruences and keep their hands taut on the rope, working hard to make things happen through sheer will.

I find it heart breaking that part of me was willing to drag the dead carcass of “what was” rather than face the freeing reality of letting go. Thankfully the Spirit within me refused to show up to that same old song and dance and coaxed me free.  


It always feels odd to step out of an old worn behavior. It felt odd to let go of the rope of "self-will and fixing" I’d been holding up my entire life, but it also feels amazingly good. So good that something in me wants to celebrate my awakening from the degradation of duty and all the relational and spiritual trappings that had self-righteously convinced me of their nobility. 


Newly discovered incongruences sometimes take time to work their way out of the body, lingering through familiar habits. Certainly I’ve had a lifetime of discovering them. But the sweet kiss of grace has blown out the cobwebs proclaiming; “You need not strive to be the “good girl” when you’ve been pronounced good so long ago.


Simply let go of the rope and receive.”






Day 20 Why You Should Stop Trying To Do Something For the World


Often we’ve heard that we have something the world needs and so we set out to provide the solution or gift to serve that dilemma. While it may sound reasonable that we were made with a quality or gifting that will benefit the world, I believe this thinking is entirely backwards.


What if there was nothing we really needed to do for God, because frankly, God’s got it covered? What if instead of carrying the yoke of thinking there was something we were supposed to do or accomplish, we merely lived from the overflow of who we truly are and in turn that would be the brightest, truest thing we could ever do?


Imagine the difference from being a duty bound 'yes' man and a free son.

As a parent I get excited about what excites my kids. I don’t expect their interest to benefit me. I hope they fall in love with life to the degree that it spills over as a natural expression of who they are.


 “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we need to be and embracing who we are.” Brenè Brown


Instead of trying to do something for God, what if we got in on what He was interested in and as any loving dad can tell you, that is his kids!


Interestingly, there were two specific times in my life when I felt God was really excited about what I was sharing with him and neither times had anything to do with a noble or spiritually pursuit. However, they were the two times I was the most honest and clear about my desires. Just like a good Dad, God seemed excited about what I was excited about.


During seven years of widowhood my prayer was for a husband and father for my children, but not just any husband, one that was a great lover (there were other requests that were equally as honest.) And then there was the cute yellow house I randomly passed blurting out, “I want that house!” Certainly I’d say my interests were not pious or dubious, but rather clear!


God seemed onboard with my desires to the extent that He gave me two specific dreams to support them. One dream involved a friend interpreting a dream I had with the word Beulah in it. I soon discovered Beulah means married!


The other dream was of a map highlighting the exact location of the cute yellow house long before we were in the house market, even knew we’d be moving, or the cute house I had spotted was on the market.


How important is it that we get honest about who we are and what we desire? Darn important. We can continue to do the things we think we’re supposed to, but at what cost? Is the upstairs team yawning, while waiting for us to get clear and honest about our real desires and not dutiful halfhearted junk?


Some of you might be thinking, 'isn't that child-centric?'  It might be if you've interpreted God as distant, out of reach and non-relational. However, I believe the Father is all about relationship, not sacrifice or duty. Most of us have spent a lifetime relation to God as if we needed to appease him and ward off his wrath. I on the other hand think that is a gross misrepresentation, which has kept the masses reacting with the same distance.


Instead of living in a manner that keeps us separated from the free child he created us to, trying to do something for God, what if we got in on relationship and what He is interested in and as any loving dad would confess, that is his kids!

Day 12 Webbles Wobble But They Don't Fall Down

Day 19 Webbles 2

Being a person generally perceived as strong and hopeful, I am always surprised at the surprise of others when I have the occasional off day. You know how it is; sometimes you seem to be spinning in a different frequency from your normal, your vision is blurred, causing an inability to see through the here and now to a greater reality.


It’s always in those times that I expand and discover more (I hope you do to.) The light comes to illuminate my darkness and I see better than before. I discover yet another illusion camouflaged as reality.


It’s easy to panic in that wobbly space before the dawn, as if the dawn isn’t coming! But when I think over my life, I realize that even in times of wobble, I have never landed on my backside without the grace to go on. I have an anchor living in me. This anchor of hope is what consistently keeps me afloat and steady even with my occasional wobbles.


Sometimes all we see is the struggle and so we fret, or those around us wring their hands in helplessness to assist. What we forget is that the occasional gap that may cause momentary trashing, results in greater expansion of vision and perspective. We can best support others when trusting and resting in the process, as we ourselves are carried into a greater grace. When we see others and ourselves through the lens of fullness instead of preoccupation with the struggle, we find ourselves aligning with this reality.


To pretend that we never wobble is hogwash! The more we are transparent about our wobbles the more permission we give others to be real about their own. No one lives without occasional wobbles. The question is whether in the times of wobble and lack of clarity, do we grasp that hope is the anchor that does the steadying?



Your Life Is A Manifesto

Jumping off from last week’s discussion around values on, A Little Bit Vibrant and A Little Bit Moxie Radio Show, today fellow life coach Nicole Greer and I talked about creating and using the powerful tool of a Manifesto. You can find the recording of today’s show here.  And find the recording of the previous show on Values, here. 


Why are manifestos important?

A personal manifesto is a powerful tool that is a declaration of your core values and beliefs, what you stand for, and how you intend to live your life. It can function as both a statement of principles and as a call to action. A personal manifesto helps to establish:

▪    A frame of reference

▪    A compass to steer with

▪    A guide to remind you of your priorities

▪    A foundation to build upon


Without clarity, vision and purpose any action we take will only keep us circling around the cul-de-sac of confusion. A manifesto helps define and state what is important to us. Creating a manifesto helps us identify where there is a need or gap that we were created to remedy, what the benefit is and whom the benefit will impact. This immediately helps us move away for all that is incongruent and outside of the vision.


When we clarify and define our passion, vision and life’s work we are better able to stay the course, remain focused and course correct when needed. This tool helps to differentiate the path so that the ship is not run a drift for lack of clear direction and intentional action. 


Guidelines for Writing Your Personal Manifesto

There are two separate manifestos I recommend clients create. The first one is a personal manifesto expressing, who you are and what is important to you. There is no right of wrong way to express this. The idea is merely to capture on paper statements about yourself. You can continue to define and refine over time as you gain greater awareness and clarity. Below see the example of my personal manifesto.


Personal Manifest


As you gain personal clarity it is amazing how you begin to open up and expand into broader vision. The purpose of the Mission Manifesto is that it declares, “that which will appear” or manifest and as your mission. Below I’ve posted the example of my Mission Manifesto.


Mission Manifesto


Create Your Own Manifesto

Start writing your manifesto by answering the following questions: What is_____


  1. The Need or Gap(s) you’ve experienced in the world? Example:shame,condemnation,fear, poverty of mind, (lack of grounded identity)


  1. The Remedy for the gap and your Passion? Example: Awaken to a fully loved identity


  1. The ultimate Benefit and Reason? Example: Transformed lives! Experience, love, hope, vision, possibility, support for one another, a personal love revelation


  1. Who is this for? Women



Remember to use inspiring and powerful words, write your manifesto in present tense and be sure to keep it positive. I’ve created mine in bright colors and fun fonts. Keep your manifesto as a clear and powerful reminder of who you are, your passion and where you are going in life, as you move forward with action and intentional steps to see your vision manifest.

Have fun creating!




Day 27, Vision, 30 Days of Creative Expression

Day 27 VisionLance Secretan wrote concerning the Vision SPIRIT@WORK® Card that I drew today,

“Great leaders develop a vision so compelling that it becomes a magnet for passion-a cause. They do not develop cookie-cutter or connect-the-dots approaches to leadership. They combine visceral energy with a clear and focused vision, founded on strong spiritual beliefs and values. This combination radiates a light so bright that followers find it irresistible-it becomes a cause.”

I am a visionary. I’m a big picture thinker. It's not hard to recognize this when you see my lack of strength in the area of detail. I’m so wired in this capacity that sometimes I find it hard to direct all the vision I have. One key I've discovered to help in this matter is to understand that all vision is not created equal.Some vision trumps another. Wherever we set our sight we tend to be drawn in that direction. Wherever our heart is it’s said that’s where our treasure is also, but we need to examine if our vision is the worthiest of visions at any given time.

It’s easy to run here and there after many a vision, but there are seasons when a vision needs to develop, mature, grow in clarity and even prove its worthiness. Not many of us like the down times when we are forced to winter over so our roots grow strong and sure, but this process is necessary for our development as individuals and for the development of a vision.

I would rather allow this process to do its work in the vision and me than run off half-cocked into a venture that eventually shows the cracks of unpreparedness, instability and immaturity. During the time of preparation it could be said that it is important to hold the course, and “steady on” until new development, clarity and growth are established. After all if you're like me, you don’t want just any old vision.

I want a vision that is transformational not only through the process of development, but also through the season of unveiling and executing. Therefore, it is necessary to watch over a vision and nurture it in whatever stage it is in.

Walter Lanyon wrote in The Temple Not Made With Hands, "And , since you cannot perform this process yourself, are you're willing and ready to come under the deep secret laws of "letting" the gestation take place in the silence of your heart? Behind the eggshell which appears to be limitation, within the cramped cocoon which swings through the winter gale on the branch of a tree, a new birth is taking place."

How well do you allow the necessary process for a vision to develop?

Day 1-Infusion, 30 Days of Creative Expression & A New Way of Being

Infused in a love state of beingToday I begin my thirty-day challenge: 30 Days of Creative Expression. I hope you will follow along and play as I daily post my art journaling images and thoughts for the day. My goal is to create a conversation and collaborative effort. I invite you to follow along, journaling with me in your own unique way around the theme that I am discussing for the day. You can read more about this here

Many people are launching into the New Year with resolutions and goals. However, I like to think of a new beginning as a new way of being, not merely doing.

When we merely focus on action steps and outer standards while ignoring our inner being we will find that we are out of alignment and rattled with incongruence; confusion; lack of clarity; lack of fulfillment; and all manner of shifting sand.

It seems we have it backwards. What if we flipped this around and lived from the inside out by focusing on our inner climate and way of being prior to focusing outwardly. This is the ultimate realignment that will manifest in a new way of being. In this way our circumstances will not dictate our well-being, but our way of being will alter our circumstances.

This year, I will continue to invest in the quality of soil my life is being built upon and continue supporting others in the same manner. There’s simply no comparison in the fruit that’s yielded from rich soil, reflected through state of being-love, joy, peace, gratitude, compassion, inspiration, hope, clarity, inner faith and insight.

The thought and word I am pondering today for the art journaling image posted here is from Lance Secretan's SPIRIT@WORK ® Card: Infusion.

Lance Secretan said, "Most business organizations and not-for-profit institutions have "Programs." But it's not programs we need. We don't  have a "Sunset Appreciation Program" - instead, we sit in a sacred place and experience a sunset, and in this way, it infuses us with spirit. Programs intrude, an experience infuses."

How do you plan to nurture and invest in your state of being to experience an inner infusion of love, joy, peace, gratitude, etc.? How will you incorporate the word "Infusion" into your day? I'd love to hear your thoughts and have you join the conversation!

What Are You Going to Do?

One marvelous lifeAs I contemplate where I am and where I am heading my thoughts are simple, "What will I do?"

I hope you think about the direction you're heading in and don't leave it to chance. If you live in Charlotte, NC consider an exciting weekly coaching opportunity I am offering.

Are you ready for some fresh invigoration that will introduce you to an environment of expansion, new growth and creativity in your life? As much as you want to dive into greater clarity and vision your inner world has to be in congruence with your outer steps in order to move forward with clarity and vision.  Start 2014 with regular support and camaraderie to help you take your life to a new level.

Join me for a weekly, in-person, creative coaching journey through, The Untamed Heart Coaching Circle, where we will explore the possibilities, clarify vision and nurture inspiration through inspiring creative projects and a supportive coaching environment.

Take time to invest in yourself, untame your heart and explore the internal wealth you possess as you process through Untamed Heart, Releasing Your Creative Genius book and The Gift's of Imperfection by Brene' Brown with other women. Invest in yourself and watch your life blossom!

Often people are drawn to coaching when their normal is disturbed. It may be that you’ve accomplished one set of goals and are wondering what’s right for the next season. Or maybe you’ve left a job, experienced a divorce, loss, transition, empty nest, or realize this is a time you want to invest in your growth.

If you are ready to explore a new perspective, engage new possibilities, unleash creative play as a means to up your own game of life, then join the Untamed Heart Coaching Circle and make an investment in yourself.


Limited space, email now to hold your place, or to get more information. Make an investment in yourself for 2014.

Location yet to be determined. You will need to purchase the books, but most supplies included. Time: Thursday, 9-11 am

Monthly Enrollment $125     Email:

Are You Suffering From Identity Theft?

Identity Theft


Missing identity is an epidemic. There are many people who are victims of identity theft, because they're living under an ego driven persona, illusion, or lack of clarity and ownership about who they truly are.

Because I have claimed my once missing identity, I have a keen sense of 'knowing' or discerning when someone is suffering from the vacancy of identity theft.

Sometimes the language and rhetoric that hides someone is so thick you can’t see the person through the fog? Sadly, this is common in certain faith communities. Many have spent so much time concocting a false self that they aren't even aware that the false self is not true and that their real self is hiding.

What a terrible thing to exist but not actually be there! Imagine the joy deficit, the lack of internal freedom, the fragmented and half lived lives of those struggling with identity theft.

Who struggles with this and why are so many suffering from identity theft?

Identity theft is what happens when someone surrenders his or her personal power and allows others to define them outwardly, trying to appease a system of ‘shoulds’, ‘do’s’ and ‘don’ts.’ This misled parroting denies the reality of who one truly is and sets into place striving to become someone they already are, but haven't recognized.

Identity theft takes place when someone does not possess the anchoring of personal ownership, but embraces a hollow, ego driven identity instead. Whenever someone looks for something outside of themselves to define them they have strayed from who they truly are. When someone is missing they are often under the illusion that they are merely a set of values or beliefs. The truth is we all are much more that any set of values or beliefs. There is great identity uncertainty and confusion until one owns their totality.

Claiming your power and identity

1.Learning to be. Learning to be is a powerful step to owning and claiming ones true identity. When one learns to accept themselves as being fully loved and valued apart from external performance, they will find freedom in true identity.

2. Removing judgment. Awareness without judgment is the starting point to remove unhealthy ego structures that have kept one masked, hidden and missing.When one views the world through the lens of either, or they dissect themselves and their perception of the world into unnatural pieces. When they remove judgment they begin to take down masks and the walls of their ego structures.

3. Claiming personal ownership. This is where one begin seeing themselves as they already are and accessing the divine power within. This is not about working harder to improve oneself. This is about honoring the true value that one already possesses. This won't take place until one moves out of illusion and see things accurately. Sometimes it is necessary to  rememeber and rediscover all that one truly possess.

Want Help Reclaiming Your Identity?

Do you want to reclaim: your true self, your beauty, your joy, your freedom and ownership of your life? You are not alone! This is actually a great place to be! There is abundance of grace to uncover and reclaim who you truly are. If you want help to reclaim your true identity and would like to join a 12 Week small virtual coaching group, where you will be led through the process of discovery and reclaiming your highest self, contact me via email for an application to apply. You will be notified if you are a good fit for the group. Email at:

The group will receive weekly assignments, a weekly audio training around key issues related to identity and 2 monthly Q and A coaching calls to help you process what you are discovering. This is where great hot seat coaching takes place that will help you moving forward into new choices, perception and true identity. You will also be in a private, supportive Facebook Group where you will support each other in your process and discovery. The 12 week program is $997. Don't wait to possess the wealth and truth of who you truly are! Email me today!

3 Easy Tips to Disengage Distractions

photo-6Nine-month-old Wyatt sat on my lap preening his neck one way and then the other to capture the colorful movement flashing on the TV screen in front of him and the reflection in the mirror behind him.

He seemed unclear where to devote his attention.  Sound familiar? Often there are so many colors flashing at us in life that it becomes difficult to know where to focus. We position our gaze on something, only to discover it’s merely a reflection and not what we thought it was at all.

How many dangling carrots have grabbed your attention, only to distract you from what you really wanted to focus on?

It is important to define the things that hold real value and meaning in our life. Many people think they know what matters the most to them, yet demonstrate the lack of clear parameters and boundaries to filter less important criteria.

That is why Clarification, Optimization and Activation are so important.


To disengage your distractions, reboot and refocus!

  • Clarify where you are currently.
  • Devote time to determine where you are going.
  • And define and create a plan to get there.


Otherwise you may continue to experience whiplash from the constant preening that derails your focus.

I Did What You’re Never Supposed to Do!


I did what you’re never supposed to do!

I stopped my business cold in its tracks and took a breather. As if the track ended, others marched on and I veered off and let the train intentionally come to a complete halt.

Sometimes we need to give our self-permission to re-evaluate, take a hiatus, or merely regroup, because if we settle for the lesser we will forfeit the greater.

It is said that 98% of the planet spends 98% of their time on what matters little. I decided that I wanted to invest my time in what matters most. Truthfully what matters most is not the temporary attachments that we often settle for. What matters most is not the outer world that we work to control, but inner peace, inspiration, and well being, all benefits of a cared for inner world.

Having taken the time to let all the extraneous things fall away and focus on my inside world, I feel more clarity, energy, creativity, and purpose than I have in sometime. The things that are true for me have floated to the top of my barrel and I’ve let the toxins run off and out of sight.

How have you taken something you’re never supposed to do and made it work for you?

To find more inspiration download your free chapter of Untamed Heart: Releasing Your Creative Genius here!