Here's Looking At You Kid


“To remember who you are you need to forget who they told you to be.”

That sentence is always popular when I post it on Facebook. Like myself, I think most people live a great deal of their life learning who they truly are and how to let go of who they’ve been told to be.


I've spent a good deal of my life squeezing myself into ill-fitting boxes, wearing hats, roles and identities that were in total incongruence in discovery of who I truly am. I am certain that this road of discovery will continue my entire life, because to imagine that it wouldn't would be to limit an immeasurable God who made us.


I've spent years determining the value of what I did and who I was based on the bleachers approval of me. I devalued my voice, because so many then and now could not comprehend the inside out, rather spiritual vantage point in which I see the world.


Then not so long ago, I realized that even if no one valued what I had to offer, or the person I intrinsically am, I would be okay with that too, because I was created as a one-of-a-kind, in the image of my Maker. And I recognized that I needed to lean into my uniqueness, because maybe I had been listening to the wrong pack. That's when I gave myself permission to look differently than the cookie cutter version that some circles expected me to be.


There is nothing quite like taking back your power instead of letting other's define you, and being perfectly fine with your own good opinion. That is why I am so passionate as a life coach about helping other women recognize and reclaim the power within themselves, their God given uniqueness and beauty.


So here’s to your beauty! Here's to you, kid!

The above painting is entitled: Here's Looking At You Kid for day 6th of  30 Paintings In 30 Days. Follow along here

Day 29 Letting Go of the Rope

Poptart quote

I read the words, “…for those of us who have learned to keep secrets from ourselves and others” and stopped dead in my tracks mid sentence. This little slap of reality put words to the gap of incongruence I saw in other’s words and actions and the same incongruence I found in myself.


Like the time I recognized my words committing to take me in a direction that my body refused to go, digging my heels in so not to be moved. That secret incongruence popped its head above the recesses where it hid as if to say “Let go of the rope! You don’t have to keep that dead thing buoyant any longer. Let go of the rope! The world nor this relationship is yours to keep afloat.”


I'm learning to let go of the duty and right doing for rights-sake. I’m finding the rhythm of grace instead of the hard driving rhythm a “good girl” is taught to follow.


I'm recognizing the truth that lay hidden beneath the floorboards of what I’ve really felt and believed, as the easy breeze of grace relieves the lie that kept me, like so many others working hard to please. The amazing thing is that many never awaken to their inner incongruences and keep their hands taut on the rope, working hard to make things happen through sheer will.

I find it heart breaking that part of me was willing to drag the dead carcass of “what was” rather than face the freeing reality of letting go. Thankfully the Spirit within me refused to show up to that same old song and dance and coaxed me free.  


It always feels odd to step out of an old worn behavior. It felt odd to let go of the rope of "self-will and fixing" I’d been holding up my entire life, but it also feels amazingly good. So good that something in me wants to celebrate my awakening from the degradation of duty and all the relational and spiritual trappings that had self-righteously convinced me of their nobility. 


Newly discovered incongruences sometimes take time to work their way out of the body, lingering through familiar habits. Certainly I’ve had a lifetime of discovering them. But the sweet kiss of grace has blown out the cobwebs proclaiming; “You need not strive to be the “good girl” when you’ve been pronounced good so long ago.


Simply let go of the rope and receive.”






Are You A Jonah?

Whale freeI am a Jonah. I’ve been a runner most of life. You’d think Asthma would have slowed me down, but I’ve always kept my track shoes primed and ready for an exit.  I’m darn skilled with an exit plan. We moved thirteen times before I graduated from high school, so I’m well trained.

I imagine most of us at some time or another have been some kind of Jonah, taking off in our own direction despite what’s best for us and despite true north flashing the way home. I sure have taken many a detour, not always intentionally, but blindly boarded ships heading in the wrong direction until I awoke from my confusion and received tutelage in the belly of my own whale!

It would be nice if I could read a story like Jonah and not have to live it, but truth be told, I learn from life experience. I usually have to “live it to learn it.” I have to be so wrapped up in seaweed; ready to surrender, before I can come up for air, stand beachside, soggy but liberated with a new handful of gold. 

Some of you might be thinking,

“Boy, she’s come through a lot, but why is she always talking about this inner work? Doesn’t she know that will kill her business? Why did she stop dead in her tracks during that expensive mastermind, chirping about incongruence? Or why is she always focusing on authenticity, vulnerability, getting clear of shame and finding your true Creator made identity? What a buzz kill! Give me that fast ship heading to blitz town!”

In which case I would say,

“Did you miss the part where Jonah was heading in the opposite direction from where God told him to go and was intercepted by an appointment with a whale?”

Been there done that!

Those, like me, that are tenacious and have heard all the brave “Never Give Up” anthems might think you only need apply a little more stick-to-itiveness and voila your in business. You might be thinking, “I got this doing-it-my-way-success-thing”, while you count your coins on the way to the bank. But your counterfeit deposit will prove meaningless later, while an awkward and uncomfortable course correction now, will result in a lasting deposit in the future.

When you’ve been in the dark belly of a whale long enough, suddenly like Jonah you recognize your captivity, misalignment and the blindness you couldn’t previously perceive.  Suddenly your whale becomes an immense gift when you discover that those with the most toys don’t win. In fact, they end up empty and bankrupt.

Most people get wrapped up in plenty of seaweed at sometime or another in search of the right fit and a deep sense of love and belonging. Researcher Brenè Brown tells us that the difference between those that abide in the sweet pocket of love and belonging and those that struggle for it, is simply that they believe they’re worthy of it. That’s it!

So running out of town to avoid disapproval, or sailing on a ship named “hustle for acceptance” or sporting some ill-fitting mask to gain what you think is missing is actually like taking a huge detour on the slow boat to China. I’ve tried it! Every feel like you’re on the slow bus, while everyone else is sailing through? Ever feel like you can’t compromise the slightest or you end up, well, compromised and you can’t figure out how others get away with it. The truth is they don’t!

When Deciding Which Ship to Board, Remember:

The ramification of surrendering to true identity fidelity, purpose and value congruence that arrests your appetite from the superfluous is entirely different than giving up due to a lack of faith and discouragement. In truth, it takes huge faith to pass on the shinny carrot of “You-can-have-it-all-now-Mardi-Gras-style,” for a less blingy internal upgrade of peace, congruence and true worth without ever lifting your skirt.

If you’ve had a belly of a whale (slow boat to China) encounter it’s probably dawned on you that you just can’t out run God. There’s no hiding place, mantra, program, or strategy that will outwit the upstairs team, or change the results of a misdirected route or unrealized true identity.

Are you feeling a little squirmy in your gut, because these words are hitting their mark? It’s hard to dismiss or shift the blame when the personal-application-finger is pointing straight at you. Believe me I know!

If you’ve been chasing after all the quick fix, blitz makers, while your insides feel conflicted and betrayed, I challenge you to stop dead in your tracks, get quiet and ask for the eyes of your heart to be opened so that you can truly see. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been avoiding, or running or shuffling or hustling. Today you can turn the ship around, head back to port for the start of something true!

If you want support in getting the seaweed untangled, to experience a new sense of love and belonging, congruence with your inner values and focus on what truly matters, contact me about personal coaching or hosting a workshop for your small group with the same intent.

Join us for The Daring Way™ Retreat May 2nd and 3rd near beautiful Asheville, NC and start the journey to live brave, find congruence and celebrate whole hearted living.

Photo credit:












Day 1-Infusion, 30 Days of Creative Expression & A New Way of Being

Infused in a love state of beingToday I begin my thirty-day challenge: 30 Days of Creative Expression. I hope you will follow along and play as I daily post my art journaling images and thoughts for the day. My goal is to create a conversation and collaborative effort. I invite you to follow along, journaling with me in your own unique way around the theme that I am discussing for the day. You can read more about this here

Many people are launching into the New Year with resolutions and goals. However, I like to think of a new beginning as a new way of being, not merely doing.

When we merely focus on action steps and outer standards while ignoring our inner being we will find that we are out of alignment and rattled with incongruence; confusion; lack of clarity; lack of fulfillment; and all manner of shifting sand.

It seems we have it backwards. What if we flipped this around and lived from the inside out by focusing on our inner climate and way of being prior to focusing outwardly. This is the ultimate realignment that will manifest in a new way of being. In this way our circumstances will not dictate our well-being, but our way of being will alter our circumstances.

This year, I will continue to invest in the quality of soil my life is being built upon and continue supporting others in the same manner. There’s simply no comparison in the fruit that’s yielded from rich soil, reflected through state of being-love, joy, peace, gratitude, compassion, inspiration, hope, clarity, inner faith and insight.

The thought and word I am pondering today for the art journaling image posted here is from Lance Secretan's SPIRIT@WORK ® Card: Infusion.

Lance Secretan said, "Most business organizations and not-for-profit institutions have "Programs." But it's not programs we need. We don't  have a "Sunset Appreciation Program" - instead, we sit in a sacred place and experience a sunset, and in this way, it infuses us with spirit. Programs intrude, an experience infuses."

How do you plan to nurture and invest in your state of being to experience an inner infusion of love, joy, peace, gratitude, etc.? How will you incorporate the word "Infusion" into your day? I'd love to hear your thoughts and have you join the conversation!

Goodness Swell


Filling up full

The swell from within

Leaning in and tasting goodness

Hope resurfacing on expanded wings

Authentic, true-shoe-fit


Backing up-disengaging “Sister Sandpapers”

With a chuckle and a burst, joy’s released

Collaboration, not jammed-in conformity

A cloak, a dagger, a whence and a stare


Ring true, bells of celebration

With singing and ringing my heart knows it’s fit

Courage alignment

Congruent service

Love springs and can’t help but inspire and give

Glow effective




Kimber Britner

Paradox Not Parabox!

BoxRecently I read a post on Facebook stating that we can’t trust what we feel. The post caused me to reflect on the amazing paradoxes that exist in life. While I certainly have identified many feelings that have proven to be: False Evidence Appearing Real, (most recently the notion that the bristliness I have experienced in some settings was a reflection of my lovability), I have also experienced the converse.

My biggest ah ha this year has been around my need for increased authenticity and self-care in listening to what my gut is instinctually telling me. In so doing, I allow myself to show up more present and truthful.

Another current day paradox is the notion that resistance is equivalent to fear and so one must bulldoze ahead through fear, but I have discovered that resistance is often a messenger telling me that something within is out of alignment with what I’m trying to do. I have discovered that my resistance is often beckoning me to take a deeper look at what my gut is broadcasting.

The key here is determining if you are a type that struggles to move forward and take action, hence the tendency to stay buried beneath fear; an action oriented person with a tendency to hide behind activity; or a combination of the two.

Life is a paradox. What might be positive in some situations can conversely be harmful at other times, or to other people. Living in life’s contradictions takes both awareness and willingness to let go of what ego likes to perceive as control, or a prescription for the “one way” route.

Once we are aware of any given paradox, we can allow others and ourselves the grace to live outside of the box.