Day 30, Courage, 30 Days of Creative Expression

Courage-soul-thirsty-latestToday I drew Lance Secretan's COURAGE SPIRIT@WORK® Card.

I wrote within today's first art journaling piece, “Thrashing about with untamed soul thirstiness until your whisper brings release.” It takes courage to listen and acknowledge when our soul is thirsty and the easily ignored whisper of Spirit tells us there is more.

It’s easy to remain seeing the world through our natural eyes and fall for the illusion that all the outer bling our ego craves is the ticket to what truly matters. When we are duped in this capacity our restless soul thrashes about until we respond to the message the spirit is whispering. That takes courage.

It takes courage to step away from the pack to still oneself and listen. It takes courage to discover our true worth based on Love’s acknowledgment that can only be seen through spiritual eyes. Sometimes it's life circumstance that enlists us on this journey and sometimes it's a combination of choice and appointment.

It’s not a popular journey to pull aside from the hustle to nurture the spirit within when we're riding full and hard to make our way, but for those willing to take the courageous path, its rewards are vivid and magnificent. I find as I share this journey I hear this familiar comment, “I feel like I just had a cool drink of much needed water.”  

The root of the word Courage is cor-the Latin word for heart. Courage takes heart.

Speak to me kindly

Is your soul parched and thirsty feeding on unquenchables? Are you craving a deeper sense of connection to spirit? Are you tired of the noise and clamor and you know your thirsty soul needs a refreshing drink of water?

When I started to respond to what I heard deep within I knew I had taken a big gulp of refreshment, as illustrated in today's second drawing. I knew the truth in the whisper that became like a kiss,

The one with the most toys, power, recognition, and ego-thrusts doesn’t win. In fact they end up empty and wed to an unstoppable, insatiable appetite. You were made for more, so don’t settle for the lesser superfluous things to forfeit the greater.”

I've heard this message strong and loud for sometime now and it is why I pulled aside several years ago to hear my heart and feed my spirit. I discovered that "illusion traps" had clouded my sight and I've been on a journey of restoring my spiritual senses ever sense. Some of the vivid water-drinking-clarity I’ve received has come in messages, images and regular sacred conversation.

I'll be continuing on in this exploration of listening and marrying art and writing. As my 30 Days of Creative Expression comes to a close, I will move out of the Higher Ground Leadership Practicum I've participated in this month and in a few days head to Brene′ Brown's, Daring Greatly Training for credentialed coaches and counselors. I am thrilled to be learning, growing, and adding this training around shame, vulnerability and wholehearted living to my tool belt. I know this will be a great fit and benefit to my clients, since much of the coaching work I do with women is around authenticity, identity and sacred living from the inside out. 

I hope you will continue to follow along for the ride and share in the journey as new things come to life. Who knows maybe you'll find a refreshing drink of water too. If you enjoyed this series you might move onto my book packed with more full color illustrations You can purchase Untamed Heart, Releasing Your Creative Genius here![product id="2047" sku=""]

Is it time you mustered courage to listen and respond?




Day 10-Transformation, 30 Days of Creative Expression

Day 10

I believe TRANSFORMATION begins with a change in perception. As perceptions change, the old way of viewing the world in an “either”, “or”, mindset, gives way to greater possibility and wholeness.

Inspiration is important, but TRANSFORMATION is even more powerful. If we're merely to stay in the reality that we currently exist, in a mindset that this is it, we fail to comprehend the vastness that exists beyond our mere rational understanding. TRANSFORMATION moves one into a new realm of awareness and experience beyond what can be seen with natural sight and understanding.

Richard Rohr wrote,

“We need to rediscover the Sic et Non approach in our politics and in our churches. Otherwise, I do not know what we are offering the world except violence, because angry conversation creates angry minds and angry hearts and eventually angry behavior. It seems to me that we have the possibility from our own Tradition of raising up the capacity for humane, dialogical, Sic et Non conversations—where I do not need to prove that you are wrong. I do not need to pretend that I am totally right. I can keep my mind and my heart open.

Dualistic people use knowledge, even religious knowledge, for the purposes of ego enhancement, shaming, and the control of others and themselves. Non-dual people use knowledge for the transformation of persons and structures, but most especially to change themselves and to see reality with a new eye and heart.”

Lance Secretan wrote for the TRANSFORMATION SPIRIT@WORK® Card, a tool he uses with corporate leadership,

“During the decades ahead, we will see spiritual transformations unfold that today can only be imagined….We are at the end of an old-story human paradigm that viewed power as something to be exploited, as a means to control, as a weapon with which to intimidate others. In this age of Consciousness, power is founded on an attitude of abundance; it is spiritual, not material or physical power, and it is a divine resource residing in, and available, to us all. It is just waiting to be nourished and shared. This is a power that we have not even been able to imagine before-and it is sacred.”

How would the idea of TRANSFORMATION preceded by a change of heart and perception move you out of your logical understanding into a deeper realm?

For further support with changing your perceptions and seeing differently order my book, Untamed Heart, Releasing Your Creative Genius now![product id="2047" sku=""]

Day 7 Authenticity- 30 Days of Creative Expression

Day 7Oh, how much hiding we do cloaked in ego’s garb, covering and pretending, until we experience wholeness through the power of love. Love in its truest nature can be nothing but authentic and whole. Anything short of that is not love at all. Love is based entirely on different metrics,

 “…the whole matter is now on a different plane-believing instead of achieving.” (Acts 17:11, Phillips Translation)

 Today the SPIRIT@WORK ® Card is: AUTHENTICITY. I am writing about love here too; because it takes love to live authentically.

Authenticity is not a journey for the faint of heart. To truly live authentically I believe we must believe in and experience the Love that has always existed. Through the experience of love, we can armor down our defenses and coping mechanisms and live authentically, as we come face to face with our truest identity: being fully loved by God.

Thankfully we have a lifetime of discovery to help us realize the love that’s encased us through difficulty and calm.

Walter Lanyon tell us, “When the chastening is recognized as the wonderful GUIDING LIGHT it is, then in this effulgence the passing of things is seen as the dropping off of so much excess baggage. The NEW-old action as compared with the former as it passes away, is like the action of electricity as compared to the labored movement of the untrained, unskilled muscular power of man.

All the questions will go-the “WHY?”, the “HOW?”, the “What have I done to deserve this?” And the comparing of patterns with another-all of it, the moment you transfer the POWER from punishment to LOVE. A welling up of Joy within takes place; your surrender, plus the integrity to follow through, causes the miracle to take place-the miracle of Love.”    

How does Love’s permission help you come out of hiding into living authentically?

Paradox Not Parabox!

BoxRecently I read a post on Facebook stating that we can’t trust what we feel. The post caused me to reflect on the amazing paradoxes that exist in life. While I certainly have identified many feelings that have proven to be: False Evidence Appearing Real, (most recently the notion that the bristliness I have experienced in some settings was a reflection of my lovability), I have also experienced the converse.

My biggest ah ha this year has been around my need for increased authenticity and self-care in listening to what my gut is instinctually telling me. In so doing, I allow myself to show up more present and truthful.

Another current day paradox is the notion that resistance is equivalent to fear and so one must bulldoze ahead through fear, but I have discovered that resistance is often a messenger telling me that something within is out of alignment with what I’m trying to do. I have discovered that my resistance is often beckoning me to take a deeper look at what my gut is broadcasting.

The key here is determining if you are a type that struggles to move forward and take action, hence the tendency to stay buried beneath fear; an action oriented person with a tendency to hide behind activity; or a combination of the two.

Life is a paradox. What might be positive in some situations can conversely be harmful at other times, or to other people. Living in life’s contradictions takes both awareness and willingness to let go of what ego likes to perceive as control, or a prescription for the “one way” route.

Once we are aware of any given paradox, we can allow others and ourselves the grace to live outside of the box.

I'm In Recovery!

ID-10080991Can I tell you a little secret? I cringe when someone finishes a sentence with an exclamation mark like, “amen!” I cannot stomach Christianese! It immediately makes me feel the need to run for the door, because I smell inauthenticity like day old lobster. I question the rhetoric and parroting. The real person seems to be missing and lacks a clear sense of who they truly are. Although I am learning to see past the camouflage to the person, it’s so close to home that it still causes me to spin, like a sober drunk in a room of drinkers.

I confess I'm in recovery. I’m in recovery from institutional religion. Are you wondering what I’m talking about? I’m talking about trying to mash myself into a misshaped cookie cutter image, rather than be who I am. I am in recovery from a groupthink culture that was slowing killing me, a culture of performance, judgment, striving and preferring ritual above

The topic of missing identity that I often write about is real. It’s my story and sadly why much of my thirty-year experience with church culture has felt like a miss hit of smashing my thumb with a hammer. I will be talking more about this in future posts.

Why did it take so long? Why was I trying to be the “good girl” and please so hard? This is what you do if you were the lost child that became the family hero to survive the anguish and emotional abuse of a mom with mental illness. It was in letting go of the ghosts and those that couldn’t bring themselves to make the journey with me that I’ve gotten free. It’s in claiming my true God-image identity that sprung the cage door.

In my journey I’ve stumbled right into a grace encounter, transformation and expansiveness beyond a box sized God into a God that existed before the American church culture’s definition of who God is and who I’m supposed to be. I’ve learned to honor and listen to my inner GPS that signals when I’m betraying myself. I’ve taken up the challenge of vulnerability and authenticity instead of settling for a counterfeit of God, or myself.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAJesus loves me, I love him and much of the rest I leave dangling in the realm of unknowing. I choose to pass on pontificating as best I can. I hope to see and love individuals beyond ego driven, polarizing issues that separate into black and white, either or, as I am learning to live beyond the tightrope of performance. I love my friends that are gay, Buddhist, Hindu and lots of other things. 

Hear this: I am not blaming anyone for my lack of clarity around my identity, or my familiar pull to environments that were unhealthy for me. This is the very journey that led me home to myself. The crazy mixed up way that I got here, the story that reads like a Broadway play matters little (although I can imagine wonderful song and dance numbers that would fit with the movie, Saved!)

The fact that I finally found my path and my way out of the matrix of confusion is the reason I help other women claim their voice, their authentic self and their unique God relationship too.

I don’t mean to offend you, but trying not to offend has kept me small. Trying not to offend kept me on the fence, living incongruently, dishonestly, and inauthentically. Being careful to speak only “what builds up” to be silent when I was told to “keep quiet” kept me controlled and living in decline and demoralization. Now days, I am learning to give myself permission to speak things that don’t always build up, because that’s authentic and something’s need to be torn down before building can begin. That’s what getting untamed means.  It’s about risk and courage to face the gap and not shut the door in fear to those that see the world differently. I’m not writing this for debate, or needing to be right, but needing to be real (although I wouldn't mind a little cheering for standing up in my life in a greater measure.)

Heaven on earth 1I choose to live life as an act of worship and today I choose to invest in relationships over meetings and to be my part in the church all around me. I am not tearing down what you may love and thrive in. There are some awesome church expressions out there, but the truth is church is not a building, or a meeting. You in fact might be someone who sees the faith relationship differently too. This is important to say, because I am learning to care and nurture myself. Warning, please don't post a bunch of Christianese on my page or I will have to delete you! :)

Your struggle may not be with the church. It might be your family dynamics (isn’t that where it all starts anyway?) or a work environment that keeps you peddling faster and faster until you’ve peddled right over yourself. Maybe you understood long ago that the struggle was within yourself and you’ve never tried to please, but abdicated your life anyway. Maybe you’re in transition and you want to start recreating your life again.

You are not late, but right on time to start investing in yourself. The place to start is in loving yourself first.

Maybe you know that this is your time, time to invest in the only life you have! If so here are some ways to begin expanding and investing in yourself.

  • Read the following authors who write about the illusion of ego and faith: Richard Rohr books, New Seeds of Contemplation by Thomas Merton, Jim Palmer books, The Cloud of Unknowing by Elizabeth Obbard
  • Read Untamed Heart, Releasing Your Creative Genius, by me :)
  • Read Daring Greatly, Brene Brown
  • Register for my 12 Week Online Program, Untamed Joy! Discover tools to claim your voice, your identity and your joy!
  • Contact me to find out about 1-on-1 coaching

Are You Shoveling Crap?


I felt a blog post coming on when I read this comment to one of my posts,

 “Oh, Darling, I already checked you out and you're just too cool for words. I love a multi-talented dynamo. Yowza!”

This was after I transparently bemoaned to my husband about my misled and often over functioning tendency toward incongruent and double-minded behavior, anything but a dynamo.

I have come along way from the days of giving up all my makeup, wearing a head covering and dressing like a bag lady for Jesus, having moved on to truly understand that I am fully loved and accepted as I am and I don’t have to do a thing to prostitute myself for love.

I get that Love is the biggest and best gift I will ever receive; yet sometimes I still fall back into a loveless trap. Ego lures me round the bend like it did those many ridiculous years ago when I bought into the illusion that I had to work hard to please Jesus, please the neighbors and please the whole damn world.

I found a burst of new empowerment when I read the above quote knowing that the author is a dynamo herself, who has brazenly wrestled down her own “good girl” lies and is honest about the show down.

Women getting free extend the hand of permission to other women. Women uncovering their lies help other’s incongruent illusions fall. When we choose to quit shoveling the crap we become permission's hand extender and recipient too.

When we start to let go of egos taunts and stop playing to the “good girl” chorus we take off the limiting restrictors that define us, the Pope’s, the kid’s principal or the community at large. We get untamed.

Are you shoveling other's crap to earn love, or have you cast off  the "good girl" limiting restrictors?  Need help to reclaim your freedom? Contact me about personal coaching, or get in on our new online program, Untamed Joy! Claim your voice, your authenticity, your life and your joy! Details for Untamed Joy coming soon!

Are You Suffering From Identity Theft?

Identity Theft


Missing identity is an epidemic. There are many people who are victims of identity theft, because they're living under an ego driven persona, illusion, or lack of clarity and ownership about who they truly are.

Because I have claimed my once missing identity, I have a keen sense of 'knowing' or discerning when someone is suffering from the vacancy of identity theft.

Sometimes the language and rhetoric that hides someone is so thick you can’t see the person through the fog? Sadly, this is common in certain faith communities. Many have spent so much time concocting a false self that they aren't even aware that the false self is not true and that their real self is hiding.

What a terrible thing to exist but not actually be there! Imagine the joy deficit, the lack of internal freedom, the fragmented and half lived lives of those struggling with identity theft.

Who struggles with this and why are so many suffering from identity theft?

Identity theft is what happens when someone surrenders his or her personal power and allows others to define them outwardly, trying to appease a system of ‘shoulds’, ‘do’s’ and ‘don’ts.’ This misled parroting denies the reality of who one truly is and sets into place striving to become someone they already are, but haven't recognized.

Identity theft takes place when someone does not possess the anchoring of personal ownership, but embraces a hollow, ego driven identity instead. Whenever someone looks for something outside of themselves to define them they have strayed from who they truly are. When someone is missing they are often under the illusion that they are merely a set of values or beliefs. The truth is we all are much more that any set of values or beliefs. There is great identity uncertainty and confusion until one owns their totality.

Claiming your power and identity

1.Learning to be. Learning to be is a powerful step to owning and claiming ones true identity. When one learns to accept themselves as being fully loved and valued apart from external performance, they will find freedom in true identity.

2. Removing judgment. Awareness without judgment is the starting point to remove unhealthy ego structures that have kept one masked, hidden and missing.When one views the world through the lens of either, or they dissect themselves and their perception of the world into unnatural pieces. When they remove judgment they begin to take down masks and the walls of their ego structures.

3. Claiming personal ownership. This is where one begin seeing themselves as they already are and accessing the divine power within. This is not about working harder to improve oneself. This is about honoring the true value that one already possesses. This won't take place until one moves out of illusion and see things accurately. Sometimes it is necessary to  rememeber and rediscover all that one truly possess.

Want Help Reclaiming Your Identity?

Do you want to reclaim: your true self, your beauty, your joy, your freedom and ownership of your life? You are not alone! This is actually a great place to be! There is abundance of grace to uncover and reclaim who you truly are. If you want help to reclaim your true identity and would like to join a 12 Week small virtual coaching group, where you will be led through the process of discovery and reclaiming your highest self, contact me via email for an application to apply. You will be notified if you are a good fit for the group. Email at:

The group will receive weekly assignments, a weekly audio training around key issues related to identity and 2 monthly Q and A coaching calls to help you process what you are discovering. This is where great hot seat coaching takes place that will help you moving forward into new choices, perception and true identity. You will also be in a private, supportive Facebook Group where you will support each other in your process and discovery. The 12 week program is $997. Don't wait to possess the wealth and truth of who you truly are! Email me today!

Love Is the Main Thing

Love is the main 1The greatest tests of love are not experienced with those who are easy to love, but rather with those who are in opposition towards us. Presently my “Untamed” journey is providing me ample opportunity to surrender my ego and judgments to embrace a greater love. For that is where real freedom lies.

I have always learned well from my mistakes, so instead of bemoaning them I try to thank God for the aptly applied lessons they offer me. This trip home was no different. Although I experienced wonderful favor, business opportunity, the tastes of Memphis and the Delta that I love, and the ease of being with my tribe, I also experienced my own shortcomings glaring through the scenery. I fell short covering opposition with love; instead I chose the fighting stance.

My trip offered me opportunity. I now have the opportunity to let go of the pseudo strength of ego to embrace the true strength of love. Sound easy? Its only possible when I am willing to humble myself and recognize the illusion as Thomas Merton said, “… that my false self, the self that exists only in my own egocentric desires, is the fundamental reality of life to which everything else in the universe is ordered.” 

Whether I fall into that illusion (which I often do) or the person I experience conflict with does, I have a choice. Do I want to “use up my life in the desire for pleasures and the thirst for experiences, for power, honor, knowledge and love, to clothe this false self and construct its nothingness into something objectively real? …But there is no substance under the things with which I am clothed. I am hollow, and my structure of pleasures and ambition has no foundation. I am objectified in them. They are destined by their very contingency to be destroyed.”

No, I want to leave a legacy of love and grace for my children despite the circumstances I face. I choose then to practice love and allow a greater love to overtake me. True love and ego cannot coexist!

How does the challenge to move out of ego and embrace love register with where you are in your life?

Heart Authenticity

Sometimes it’s a long road to one's heart. You think you see your heart and are living from your beauty only to discover it’s only partially lit. The heart is the journey and one day or another we will all be challenged to recognize and become fully acquainted with her.


This is no drive through acquisition, no lunch hour fix. This is the push and pull and tearing of colliding worlds. The loudest or most demanding make think they have a leg up, but they never win. Vibrato and ego is no match for the heart. She will only speak to those listening, who cease striving and who will enter into rest.
I am in a season when I am returning to my heart, recognizing that something had died and needed to be reawakened, realizing that I couldn’t sing and I’ve always sung.


Disappointment forged walls of protection that I wasn’t even aware were there. Yet, as I’ve given my heart attention, I marvel to see the unhinging and unbolting of the beams that held up those walls, those grabs for non-sustaining joy. That’s why I took this year off, and why I am just now beginning to hear what my heart is telling me.


Last night I had a dream about a beautiful pastors wife, lovely in every way. I’ve often thought how I did not envy her position and imagined her reticence of one more person tugging at her, and taking from her. Hearts grow weary from that kind of wear.


In the dream she was showing me a drawer filled with her beautiful jewelry collection. I noticed however, that amidst the few fine pieces of jewelry there were many imitations and cheap trinkets. This surprised me.


When I woke up I realized how much we all resemble this woman. We possess beauty, but we also smear on makeup, and in many ways fill our lives with cheap imitations. We betray our heart every time we fill our internal drawer with them.


Whether we over expose our heart and dash to make adjustments, pull back and cover up, wall her in when she wants out, banish her, put her in awkward situations where she is not honored, dance a jig, bow to tradition and rituals, or ideas that leave her empty, all she really wants is relationship and love. We know very little about caring for her, and so we often try to satisfy her with cheap imitations of the real thing.


Ego strives to fill up, while the heart remains empty. She is the one calling out, “ego will never satisfy you!” She groans. I feel her groaning and I am listening.


She is the one that knows the truth if we will be still long enough to listen. Walls will come down, new pathways will emerge and the sense of singing will begin to reawaken, as we cease to betray her with imitations of real love.


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