How Much Do You Value Fun?

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Years ago I intuitively began to understand that for my extraverted personality type it was necessary to proactively plan and schedule fun in my calendar. Being the type of person that can easily focus on work, spending a great deal of time alone, (focus is one of my top five strengths) and finally looking up for from my easel, computer, or a client coaching session, to realize I’d gone long periods of time without social interaction and was feeling blue.

 

Instead of merely revering hard work, I recognized that in truly caring for my wellbeing, I was in fact responsible for planning fun and connection with others instead of hoping it would just roll in. I was responsible for fostering joy in my life.  

 

I began to value this necessary nutrient, as if it were my vitamins. I began to understand that because of a need and value for connection, the way I conducted business needed to be relational too, or I was betraying my core values. It was then that I actually began to make changes in the way I thought about and conducted business. Thus, a long history of the groups I’ve started, facilitated, hosted or participated in!

 

Brown tells us, “The absence of love, belonging, and connection always leads to suffering.” The absence of these basic needs are prevalent in our society, manifesting through a kind of scarcity mentality that keeps one isolated, disengaged, shut down due to shame, and comparison. All of which lead to sadness and suffering. Awareness is the first step in making necessary changes for ones wellbeing.

 

Sometimes I’ve been more intentional than others about my need for fun and connection, but two years ago when I began training in Brenè Brown’s work I was delighted to discover Brown’s definition of Wholehearted Living, “Whole hearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness.”

 

Where Can I Find Some Worthiness?

The interesting thing is that worthiness doesn’t just happen. Brown tells us that it must be cultivated. Hence, based on her research the ten Guidepost for Wholehearted Living defines what she calls a practice. Putting in place practice helps us, remember and reawaken to the innate worth and value already bestowed on every human life. Most of us could use that sort of awakening, which can't help but release joy into our being and joy is said to be the signature of a grounded life.

 

The two Guideposts that are very meaningful to me as an extravert and an artist and where I see many clients needing self-permission are: Cultivating Play and Rest: Letting go of exhaustion as a Status Symbol and Productivity as Self-Worth and Cultivating Creativity: Letting go of Comparison.

 

Our society esteems productivity as a banner of worth, yet worth is intrinsic and can’t be won by performance or production. Creativity is also intrinsic and yet as soon as one compares oneself to another the creative flow is thwarted.

 

In her latest bestseller, Rising Strong, Brown tells us that those who are able to rise strong amidst their struggles are the ones who have “developed practices that enable them to hold onto the belief that they are worthy of love, belonging, and even joy.” Practicing wholehearted living means, honoring ones needs, establishing boundaries to maintain them, and caring for ones wellbeing.

 

If you think that your productivity is a sign of your worth, your ability to push yourself to the limit, ignore your deep need for connection and belonging, you might be living from a place of scarcity, rather than wholehearted living. Take a moment to consider the ten Guideposts below.

 

What practices (not perfection) might you need to put in place for wholehearted living?

 

Guidepost for Wholehearted Living

  1. Cultivating Authenticity: Letting Go of What People Think
  2. Cultivating Self-Compassion: Letting Go of Perfectionism
  3. Cultivating a Resilient Spirit: Letting Go of Numbing and Powerlessness
  4. Cultivating Gratitude and Joy: Letting Go of Scarcity and Fear of the Dark
  5. Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith: Letting Go of the Need for Certainty
  6. Cultivating Play and Rest: Letting Go of Comparison
  7. Cultivating Play and Rest: Letting Go of Exhaustion as a Status Symbol and Productivity as Self-Worth
  8. Cultivating Calm and Stillness: Letting Go of Anxiety as a Lifestyle
  9. Cultivating Meaningful Work: Letting Go of Self-Doubt and “Supposed To”
  10. Cultivating Laughter, Song, and Dance: Letting Go of Being Cool and “Always in Control”

Say "Yes" to Express!

logo with borderSay, "Yes" to express! Isn’t it time?

It’s way over due for many of you and the launch of Art Girl’s Sanctuary has been a long time coming for Moxieme. With our recent relocation (yes, again!) we're so excited to be offering new additions to our fabulous coaching workshops, events and retreats in the Charlotte area.

Come on over and check out the great offerings at http://moxieme.com/art-girls-sanctuary/ and schedule some fun time to create. You know you need it!

Here’s the good news: You don’t have to be an artist to reap the benefits of releasing your creativity. Giving yourself time to create is like sunshine to a flower. It causes you to stretch and grow in all areas of your life.

Come play a while, let your grown-up self take a break from mommying, taxi driving, brain overload, workaholic syndrome and every other thing weighing you down. You are worth the small investment. Bring a friend and come to the Art Girl’s Sanctuary to get enlivened and refreshed. It's a way of life!

Check out our many workshops here: http://moxieme.com/art-girls-sanctuary/

 What’s Going On At Moxieme Now?

Moxieme still offers one-on-one coaching, so if you’ve been putting off hiring a coach to help you get unstuck, or to simply support you in strategically moving your vision forward, now is the time to contact us. Email: Kimber@moxieme.com

We also are taking names for a new group coaching program starting in Jan. 2015

If you’d be interested in a Monthly Untamed Heart Coaching Group with designated monthly focus, weekly exercises, access to my online programs and additionally a once a month in person group meet-up (for those out of the Charlotte area a monthly live group coaching call) contact me for information and affordable monthly fee structure at: kimber@moxieme.com with the subject line: Group Coaching and tell me about your interest.

If you are interested in attending a Daring WayTm Retreat this fall, please email me as well to be added to the list.

If you are interested in hosting a Daring WayTm Retreat or any of the Art Girl’s Sanctuary Workshops in your area, for goodness sakes let me know and lets plan and dream together.

If you're in the Charlotte area and interested in hosting and being apart of a support team for a Daring WayTm Retreat in your home or other location (it must be a warm, inviting space with privacy) contact me at: Kimber@moxieme.com We love cheerleaders and pied pipers who support seeing this work made available to women.

Join Nicole Greer and I each Friday Morning at 7:30 am ET for A Little Bit Vibrant and A Little Bit Moxie Blog Talk Radio Show. We cover relevant topics and always bring you coaching tips that will help you live into the possibilities. Follow me on Facebook and you will see the regular posts and links as a reminder. www.facebook.com/kimberbritnesbiz

Happy summer to ya'll! 

I Stopped Making My Bed

Screen Shot 2013-10-17 at 10.36.40 AMI grew up with the understanding that you make your bed everyday. I was trained to pick up my clothes and keep my surroundings neat with the exception that I'm a piles, not a files kind of girl. I am by no means a perfect housekeeper. I’m not even a good housekeeper, but I do like the idea of order and organization.

For the first time in my life something happened. I stopped making my bed (unless company is coming over!) Instead of focusing on picking up on the outside, I’ve become more concerned with what’s going on internally. Instead of covering up my inner world with outer illusions, I am accepting my little disheveled messes, my piles of books plopped here and there and my outrageously messy studio disaster. Instead of driving myself with rules learned in my Southern upbringing, I am choosing to live differently. I’m continuing to get untamed. I'm jumping on my bed!

I’m letting go of, “I’d better act a certain way, or I might be scolded into behaving.” I’m letting the “good girl” go rogue and be a little bad. I am even removing the judgment around “good” verses “bad”, because it is what it is, not “good,” or “bad.”

This exercise is helping me further comprehend how completely loved I am. It matters little if I make the bed. It matters little if I keep a clean house, or wear the right clothes, or live in a way that is acceptable to the neighbors, the church, or the relatives. What matters is, that I love myself and realize I am fully free to do so. Love makes me free!

The good news is that my value and your value has already been established, by the fact that we exist and cannot be diminished based on our outer performance. We are wildly and completely loved. We don’t have to work at it. We only need to wake up to this reality. Can you hear the wake up call?

Get some help in untaming your heart, order, Untamed Heart, Releasing Your Creative Genius now! Keep a look out for the downloadable workbook soon![product id="2047" sku=""] 

 

Maintaining the Creative Zone

IMG_1475How do you get into your creative zone where things happen effortlessly, solutions appear and problems disappear? I've discovered that my best work gets done when it feels like play! When I get out of my head and into my authentic, natural, intuitive self I find things flow easily. So why don’t I stay in that place and never leave?

Sometimes I forget that I get to determine how I want to do life. I can strive and push and fret, or give it all up in a second and slide into ease.

I can do life as a party (business too) if I choose. I don’t have to play by others rules. I don’t have to keep up with a race I’d rather not run. I don’t have to compete and operate from ego. I can choose the easy, breezy, free-styling life that makes love the staple, not the ration.

Though its been raining for days I choose to live life like a sunny summer day. I choose to be infected with joy and overcome with giddiness on the inside. I choose to be at ease, not run, strive, or fret, but skip my way through what ever I encounter today. I can choose to make it hard, or I can accept the grace that is available to me today. I am OK with being called a Pollyanna, because she looks better on me than Eeyore!

Find out how you can live from an untamed heart by downloading our free chapter of Untamed Heart![product id="2047" sku=""]

Miracle Intentions

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I hate test!

After transitioning back to North Carolina I cringed at the thought of having to take my written driver’s exam. Nevertheless I spent sometime cramming and preparing. I even decided to set my attitude and intention around enjoying the testing process. Instead of expecting the regular nightmare at the DMV I decided to have fun with the process.

 

The night before I re-entered the DMV doors I dreamt that the test was a breeze and I was in and out in no time flat. Now fast forward to the morning of my license procurement. I arrived and there was no line, friendly conversation and wait for it…..a miracle! No test needed! My previous license was still valid and in the system! How does this help you?

Choose how you want to face what you're facing!

  • Face the things you dread with an attitude of playfulness and adventure
  • Define how you want to play the game of life at any given moment
  • Choose joy daily
  • Expect daily miracles
  • Choose to walk in grace and favor and see if your results are altered. At least you'll enjoy the ride!

Children Know How to Create

Kimberism: "An essential aspect of creativity is not being afraid to fail." Edwin Land When I taught elementary and high school art classes I made a quick observation. When introducing a project using various shaped recyclable containers and cartons for making intriguing animals, most children didn't even blink before ideas were popping and animals were coming to life. However, there was one exception. The children that spent their free time in front of the television, computer, or video games, rather than outside creating forts and alternative worlds, struggled with imagining and play. They were unusually self-conscious, stuck in their head and feared making mistakes.

It seems equally true today in an adult world. Those that allow themselves to move out of their heads away from stimuli that is force feed, or passively consumed are able to tap into the deep reservoirs of creativity within.

If you struggle with seeing yourself as creative, or feel blocked, why not act like a child, get out of your head and open up the world of imagining and making room for the multitude of creative genius that actually resides in you!

Take one small step today to make room for your childlike creativity to be released.  What will it be?

© Copyright 2011 Moxie Me Institute, BE U LLC. All Rights Reserved

The Joy of Wind Blown Hair

Kimberism: “Well behaved women rarely make history.” Laura Thatcher Ulrich My friend Suzanne shared with me about taking her four year old niece for a ride in her convertible. The curiosity that emerged over a Transformer like car kept her young niece excitedly spouting questions, taking in the azure sky, while her hands waved in roller coaster style. We can learn something from the innocence of childlike wonder.

Imagine if we faced the journey of life with the same childlike excitement over the adventure, put the top down on our cares; let our wind-blown hair sail as we coasted for the ride.

What needs to be adjusted in your perspective to see life as a ride, a game and an adventure? What control do you need to let go of to enjoy the ride today?

© Copyright 2011 Moxie Me Institute, BE U LLC. All Rights Reserved

Self-Coaching Your Way to Rejuvenation

Kimberism: A quieted mind is a timely cup of comfort to a weary soul. After a transition, packing up, moving and scrubbing every possible surface one more time, I am exhausted. Although I wish someone would drop by our house, drag me out and douse me with an evening of rejuvenation and laughter, it is unlikely that a platter of R&R, or a banquet of fun will arrive at my door. Therefore, I recognize that I have to put myself in fun’s way. Self-coaching comes in handy in moments like these when I am too drained to think of how to do that. Follow along for a brief coaching conversation.

Kimber as coach: "What do you find fun and rejuvenating?"

Kimber as client: "I love alfresco lunches in a beautiful garden or at the beach, taking an afternoon nap curled up outside on a blanket, attending a raucous concert with my hubby, reading a book fireside, fresh cut flowers, and time spent with girl friends over dinner."

With a simple check-in I have discovered several possible feel good activities for rejuvenating my body, mind and spirit.

What do you do when you need an infusion of rejuvenation? © Copyright 2011 Moxie Me Institute, BE U LLC. All Rights Reserved WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? To publish this article in your ezine or website please include the following blurb: Kimber Britner is president of Moxie Me Institute, Author, Speaker, Professional Coach and Innovation Expert. Moxie Me Institute helps heart-led women bring their greatness to the world by connecting them to their passion, purpose, and inspired vision. Join us to rev up your moxie and bliss!

www.moxieme.com email:kimber@moxieme.com www.facebook.com/moxieme www.twitter.com/moxiemecoaching www.linkedin.com

Party Girls Have More Fun

Kimberism: You can join the party of life or sit on the sidelines. In the end the choice is yours. In my youth the term “party girl” was used to describe someone who had an imbalanced affinity for socialization. Not too long ago I decided to do life and business from a “party girl” perspective. I decided to reclaim the term “party girl,” because I would rather join the party than sit on the sidelines!

I hope you realize that I’m not talking about substance abuse, unless the substance is life. I have lived way too long to settle for dispassionate duty in any area of my life when I can enjoy the grand romance of life instead.

Have you ever met people who pull a party out of their bag no matter how bleak the circumstance, because they see into a seemingly different dimension? That’s my Grandmother for you! She always manages to find joy even amongst the sourest bag of apples.

How about you? Have you recognized areas in your life that have fallen prey to the stoic adult world of obligation, duty and propriety? Have you settled for an illusion of happiness, instead of truly embracing the party?

Granite, not everyday is a picnic, yet we still get the choice to show up for life and enjoy the party. If you feel phased out of the party and want to get back in, or know there has to be more in your life and want to connect to something bigger than yourself sign up for my free telecall, Super Charge Your Life with Irresistible Bliss! You will find out how you can:

  • Live from a spacious, wide opened place of delight-led living
  • Wake up giddy and excited about life everyday
  • Connect to Something bigger than yourself 
  • Tap into the undeniable graces of effortless bliss
  • Find out what’s your irresistible easy
  • And begin to thrive in whatever circumstances you are facing

Sign up now!

  © Copyright 2011 Moxie Me Institute, BE U LLC. All Rights Reserved

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? To publish this article in your ezine or website please include the following blurb: Kimber Britner is president of Moxie Me Institute, Author, Speaker, Professional Coach and Innovation Expert who' helps women maximize their expertise and get their gifts out into the world through one-on-one coaching, teleseminars, group coaching, events and powerful tools.  We invite you to join our community of heart-centered, spunky, women and get your moxie activated!

www.moxieme.com/ email:kimber@moxieme.com www.facebook.com/moxieme www.twitter.com/moxiemecoaching