First You Crawl

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Sometimes it's hard to sit out, while the other kids look like they're having a blast on the playground. Sometimes it's hard to give ourselves the rest or reconfiguring that we need, but truly we are the only ones who can. 

I've spent some long seasons of rest where there simply was no grace to push and strive and make things happen. I had dents in my forehead to prove the futility of pushing against the wall. After a while I learned to flow with the river and to let things happen organically. This really drove the strong willed, 'take action' types crazy!

I could hear the voices saying, "Just get up and do it!" But my heart knew the utter betrayal it would have produced, because there was another kind of work that needed to be done. It was stilling myself to listen. The work was below the surface, hidden from sight, but I knew it none the less. 

This is the work that most of us avoid for as long as possible. We might not know that we are avoiding it, until you get called up to sit! Although I kicked and screamed and threw tantrums, because I couldn't get out on the playground of seeming "importance" this gift that I didn't understand for a long time was truly one of the best gifts I've ever received. 

It brought me to discoveries I would not have uncovered otherwise. It brought me to a kind of ease and rest and grace and peace that I had not encountered to this degree, previously. It realigned so many things and brought me to a rumble with identity. Masks, gold metals and even gold stars that we like to wave around and plaster on ourselves began to fall off. It brought me to the reckoning of the beauty I possess without adding one outside voice of praise or commendation to validate me.

When all of the folks that didn't know how to stay, couldn't handle the vulnerability of looking themselves in the mirror faded away, I found within myself an undeniable fully adored identity, apart from anything I will ever do.

So if you get called up to sit awhile, remember you must crawl before you can walk and you must surely walk before you can run. Give yourself the gift of being loved-on-complete, in your solitude, because when the time is right, you will not only run, you will fly. You will have a clear voice and it will be seasoned with love.

The piece above is: First You Crawl for Day 9 of 30 Paintings In 30 Days. www.30paintingsin30days.weebly.com

 

 

You have to crawl before you can walk. 

Hope Vehicles Are Delivering!

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When I heard the question being posed in my spirit, “What does the 2016 model look like?” Those that know me well know that I have a love for banged up old vintage pickup trucks. Some girls dream of new vehicles, yet for years I’ve dreamt of old pickup trucks that show the wear of time to match my eclectic high heel and blue jeans, city streets and country dirt roads life. Needless to say, I was intrigued having never been the type to keep up with the annual trend in vehicles. 

 

I love to eclectically blend the old with the new. I always have. Maybe it began in high school with my preference of vintage coats or my family’s creative bent and love for beautiful décor and design, but suddenly this bent seemed to be highlighting volumes to me.

 

The New Model

I knew hearing a question like that was for my benefit more than God seeking an answer to a question He already fully understood. I also knew it wasn’t an invitation to move into striving mode, to draw up a five year action plan for my “make it happen” personality type. If I’ve learned anything through this long season of transition, it's been sitting with the question and responding with, “YOU tell me, what does the 2016 model of Kimber look like?” and then inquiring together around the truest version of this year’s vehicle, usually a blend of some of the old original material and new design. That also means taking notice when my heart is resonating at its highest points.

 

As I've inquired and we’ve chatted, bit-by-bit, a spark of understanding has begun to light. As I’ve been willing to listen and learn to flow with the river, rather than force it, I’ve learned to let go of ill-fitting forms of transportation. I’ve become better equipped with a way of transportation initiated by spirit and inside out living, rather than self-will and ego. And even though my vehicle has been parked in storage for a time, I’ve sensed the engines being fired again and the gas to fuel the vehicle growing in power that is not self-made.

 

World Wide Delivery 

This conversation began even prior to this question when my attention had been directed to the messages on passing trucks. As if there was a flashing light leading me, I was astounded to read, “God transportation,” “Fire Protection, safe guarding lives and property,” “United Parcel Service, world wide delivery, pickups, synthesizing the world..." As the conversation continued, I noticed a theme around parceling out packages.

 

And then the funniest thing began to happen, every time I ventured out in the morning, often at varying hours, I would see a parade of UPS trucks. The first morning there were four and the next time five and the most recent parade included twelve trucks!

 

I became giddy with anticipation around awareness of the abundance of gifts that have been parceled out and are ready for worldwide distribution. And like every child awaiting Christmas the excitement has been growing around the resurgence of seemingly dead dreams, dreams that have been set aside, buried and forgotten. There are an abundance of gifts and packages in route for delivery and those that thought they'd missed it, but have given themselves to a season of rest, listening and receiving, instead of striving, are about to receive new directives that might just include a little bit of the old dream, too!

 

The wait has felt long, but it has been a needful time of preparation. Now it’s time to allow the dust of disappointment to be blown away and to embrace the hope of what is to come as delivery has been set in motion. Even when the world seems hopeless and overshadowed with darkness there have been good gifts stored up within you! Vehicles (you and me) are being prepped and fueled for the road with a promise of delivery parceled out for the benefit of others. 

 

This is a time to be on the look out for the true-new vehicle that you are in this season, the one that has been made road worthy and laden with gifts for delivery! This is a time for the hope carries to arise with their packages of joy!

Day 12 Webbles Wobble But They Don't Fall Down

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Being a person generally perceived as strong and hopeful, I am always surprised at the surprise of others when I have the occasional off day. You know how it is; sometimes you seem to be spinning in a different frequency from your normal, your vision is blurred, causing an inability to see through the here and now to a greater reality.

 

It’s always in those times that I expand and discover more (I hope you do to.) The light comes to illuminate my darkness and I see better than before. I discover yet another illusion camouflaged as reality.

 

It’s easy to panic in that wobbly space before the dawn, as if the dawn isn’t coming! But when I think over my life, I realize that even in times of wobble, I have never landed on my backside without the grace to go on. I have an anchor living in me. This anchor of hope is what consistently keeps me afloat and steady even with my occasional wobbles.

 

Sometimes all we see is the struggle and so we fret, or those around us wring their hands in helplessness to assist. What we forget is that the occasional gap that may cause momentary trashing, results in greater expansion of vision and perspective. We can best support others when trusting and resting in the process, as we ourselves are carried into a greater grace. When we see others and ourselves through the lens of fullness instead of preoccupation with the struggle, we find ourselves aligning with this reality.

 

To pretend that we never wobble is hogwash! The more we are transparent about our wobbles the more permission we give others to be real about their own. No one lives without occasional wobbles. The question is whether in the times of wobble and lack of clarity, do we grasp that hope is the anchor that does the steadying?

 

 

Day 6 Are You a Helicopter Mama?

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This morning I woke up with the images of a dream still lingering within my reach. I dreamt that my family and I were in a helicopter. This was not your average helicopter, but rather one that seemed more like the size of a cruise liner.

 

On this helicopter we were able to ask for anything we wanted and were catered to, making sure we got whatever we asked for, as if we were known and highly revered by the staff. All the while the staff was ready and waiting to respond to our every word and need, protecting and providing care and support as we floated up above the world below.

 

What if there was a realm of peace and rest high above the clutter of the hustle and bustle below? What if in this realm there was the ease of maneuvering in and out of daily life as a helicopter maneuvers through tight spaces?

What if there was angelic staff assigned to support and help us in our journey, not only to protect, but also to grant our every need and wish? Would that alter the way we lived? What if instead of holding out, coping and trying to make it on our own, or piously choosing to resist making waves or demands because we imagined God to be a stingy Father, we instead availed ourselves to what has been given to us from the benevolence and generosity of an over the top giver?

 

In my book, it would be foolish to refuse such support, to refuse such opulent, loving grace, yet how many of us do merely by our ignorance and independence?

 

When I was a young women I suggested to my generous grandfather that I did not want to be included in his will. I did this because I wanted him to know how much I loved him with no strings attached. Being the generous and loving man that he was, he refused my request. Imagine if he decided to withhold his generosity and love towards me betraying his character. It just wouldn’t have happened, even to the degree that those family members that failed in love and kindness towards him still found generosity and favor as a member of the family. The gift came from his nature and not the nature of the recipient (even though as part of the family I mystically carry with the giver within my DNA.)

 

I certainly want to enjoy the heights, depths and lengths of this kind of generous love, to be favored and thought well of by God, not only for the effects that this kind of love has in me, but so I can demonstrate generosity of nature to others.

 

I don’t want to forfeit the ride of my life, because I refuse the giver the generosity of his nature. I want to enjoy being a helicopter mama on every level, not merely for my sake, but on behalf of the others that may benefit from this grand generosity.

 

For He will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.” Psalm 91:11

 

Praise the Lord, you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word.” Psalm 103:20

 

 

You Were Always Adored

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This week I witnessed the breathtaking birth of our first granddaughter, Amelia. As this precious new life came bounding into the world, helpless, naked and without any credentials. I was awestruck with the perfection built into this little life. No one told her that she needed to “do” something to be loved and cherished. Not for a moment was there hesitation to welcome her, or ponder her worthiness. She was adored before she even left the darkness of the womb.

Because of the perfect blueprint within her, she immediately gravitated toward the source of her nourishment, nursing from her mother without instruction, effort or fuss. And as she grows she will continue to gravitate toward her greatest fan and life source named, mama.

Amelia grew in the darkness of a hidden place, until the time she was revealed. And even now, she will be dependent on support to care for her, love her and clothe her in all she will need or do.

Life is made up of the same repetitive seasons that Amelia will continue to experience, like the rest of us. There are seasons when visible growth is unapparent, but the greatest growth is taking place in the unseen hidden chamber of darkness.

The last few years have been that sort of season of rest, stillness and preparation in my life. If I had not given myself to the time of rest, but rather busied myself with superfluous, unnecessary activity, I would have delayed the clarity and scope of full vision that came as a result of openness and willingness to be still.

Sometimes we try to fill the empty space, because it’s hard to sit with the gaps. We find things that seem “good,” but are not the “best” to occupy ourselves. Imagine if Amelia set out to "work on" her development in the womb. Imagine if she sought to clothe her own nakedness, or struggled to deem herself acceptable with some form of activity? What if she tried to grow herself instead of receiving the love that was growing her?

Amelia, like every single one of us came into the world as a beautiful BEING, not a Doing! And she will spend months, and even years doing nothing, but receiving love and learning bit by bit small steps into doing. She will never become a Doing, she and the rest of us will forever, be BEINGS.

The greatest gift we can give ourselves is to fall in stride with our seasons. When in a womb like season, we have the opportunity to embrace it with rest, and ease and reception of divine love encased around us. Through it we are growing in new dimensions. When we are again brought forth into action, we are never to forget our innate nakedness, or need for love, support and dependence on our very life Source.

Nothing we will ever do will be more perfect than the Being that we already are. Today, settle into your fully loved identity, whether you are working or resting, be enveloped in the womb of your original, completely loved identity. Like Amelia, remember what its like to let yourself be loved.

Graceful Living

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Recently a friend asked me why I hadn’t been blogging. I told her that I was processing, staying away from “have tos” and simply engaging in living. Actually I have been traveling, feasting on love, preparing to introduce my new book to my ladies book club and helping to walk the women I coach into the expansiveness of a fully loved identity. I try to stay connected with many of you through my regular automated posts in social media and a sprinkling of spontaneous input (no, I'm not on Facebook and Twitter all day long as it may seem!)  :-) 

 

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Previously I spent years striving to apprehend things off in the distance, following the model of other good strivers, exhausting myself in the cup-de-dac of behavior modification and fear of shirking some misled idea of duty with nothing to show for it but stress and exhaustion. I spent years in heartbreak clinging to what should have been, as it slipped from my fingers and off into eternity. I carried pain, but it was not the companion I was meant to embrace. Now I can't imagine a greater reality than simply enjoying and basking in a fully loved life.

When we recognize God’s breathtaking love display in the here and now, the completeness of what He's done and His overwhelming pleasure and acceptance of us, a transformational grace awakening can't help but eclipse all of our zealous self-effort and the illusion of separation we sometimes feel. And that's when we begin to live from love's overflow. 

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If you are worn out, run ragged by a to do list taskmaster berating you with all you must work up, and if you long to jump off into the bliss of rest and joy, soaking in a fully loved and grace filled reality, join me in the grace filled life. Out of a place of love completeness vision and purpose naturally follow, but sometimes we try to put the horse before the cart and wonder why she can't run. For further support contact me about coaching for the grace filled life at: kimber@moxieme.com

 

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The Naked Truth

DW_HeavyQuoteImages5I am convinced the reason we so often get stuck in life is because of shame. Shame is not often identified, or recognized, hidden underneath the recesses of our well-armored and perfected shields that work hard to deflect our fear of not being enough. Shame is a dirty word we’d rather skip over. We’d rather numb shame’s association, so we can avoid further threat of exposure even though it causes us to live at half-mast.

Shame has repeatedly taken me down, kept me in hiding, appeasing or defending even though I didn’t recognize that I danced with shame. The fact is we all do! I had almost convinced myself that I was as strong as my shields of protection expressed. I had it down until it bit me in the butt and my inauthenticity erupted in an unsettled incongruence, a deep soul thirst that no cloak of “spirituality” do-gooding, or meeting attendance could fix.

 

Raised by a mom with mental illness and an absent father, I’ve acquired some strong survival techniques. Losing my dear younger brother who took his own life at twenty-five serves as a constant reminder that though things might look tidy on the outside, they rarely are.

The thing is, my well-established armor that helped me survive my childhood, stopped serving me any longer. The hustle of striving to be a “good girl” and showing up perfect was a heavy weight to bear. So I’ve been learning to lay down this twenty-ton shield and learn a better way, a new language that is core to healing and allowing me to move beyond survival into whole-hearted living. This language of authenticity includes speaking about my experiences, and speaking about shame.

 

As long as we think we have to achieve some measure of acceptance, love, success or worthiness through our own efforts, we will always be hustling and toting a twenty-ton shield and we’ll never know rest. We will forever be churning out our best attempts at making ourselves acceptable.

 

Striving is an exhausting attempt at working to be enough. None of the self-help, church attending, “do gooding,” mojo will keep us off the treadmill of lack unless we get a true identity makeover.

 

It’s only when we acknowledge our inability apart from God to experience completeness that we come back into experiencing the acceptance that already exists. Our attempt to make ourselves worthy thwarts our ability to receive the acceptance that is readily available and that says we are already enough.

 

No perception of being an insider or outsider could ever separate us from the fact that we are already defined as fully loved by God. No higher degree, having raised picture perfect children, obtaining the perfect waistline, a hefty bank account, or popularity. No resounding rhetoric, no amount of church attendance, martyrdom, grandstanding, entrepreneurial success, or high acclaim among the masses can add to our intrinsic worth, nothing!

 So how do we retrain our tendency to measure ourselves from the outside in, while shame and “not enough” track at our heels?

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We keep ourselves in love, in the “I am loved” reality, because we are love branded! No posturing, or shadow dancing will ever suffice to earn what’s already ours.

 

By letting this perfect love soak into every fiber of our being, and saturate us to the core, we can slough off and counter every strong-armed shame lie, every “not enough” chorus with the knowledge that we are love marked. We can grow shame resilience with awareness that God’s love makes us enough.

 

The fact that we are imperfect mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, friends and the likes is a reality simply stirring in its beauty. We were loved before and after we ever failed at anything, or before we even existed. We are enough because God loves us and thought enough to create us. We can reframe our shame of “I’m not enough” to “I am fully loved and enough as I am.”

 

Do you ever feel out of sync and don’t know why? Do you ever feel things aren’t working and you can’t get a grasp on how to make the shift?

 

If you want to love yourself beyond shame shields, broken down fences and your personal boarder patrols, disappointment, outsider/insider mentality, feeling unloveable, not hip enough, not young enough, not sexy enough, not Christian/spiritual enough, not funny enough, not favored enough, or high-profile enough and if you want to get filled and anchored in love and whole-hearted living, join us for the Women’s Daring Way™ Retreat this Oct. I am a Professional Life Coach and Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator-Candidate (CDWF-Candidate.) Join a small, intimate group of imperfect women, in a cozy, safe environment, as I lead you through a transformative, creative, laughter provoking, love filling, liberty-getting weekend. :)

Get rid of that twenty-ton shield and live in the overflow of being fully loved! www.daringinlife.com  Reserve your spot now. Space is limited.

For further info. email me at: info@daringinlife.com or kimber@moxieme.com

Watch Out! The Giants Are Coming!

Kimberism: “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.'' Corrie Ten Boom Many people are familiar with the story of the courageous Joshua and Caleb who despite the cowardice of their fellow Israelites bravely perceived the giants of their day as their food.  Are there giants looming on the horizon tempting you to hunker down and hide, rather than inspiring an afternoon snack?

Most of us are facing some sort of giant in our life, be it finances, job transition, health, relationship struggles, or other issues. We can allow the reporting of the news, our families, neighbors or even society intimidate us, or we can display the faith and courage it takes to overcome our giants and enter into our "Promised Land."

Below are a few powerful tactics when countering your giants~

  1. Deliberately choose whether you will live by fear or faith.
  2. Become tenacious about setting a guard over your thought life. Allow no intruders to take your thoughts hostage. Close your ears to the whispers of those stuck in fear, doubt and impossibility mindsets.
  3. No matter what you see with your natural eyes work to remain in peace, rest and faith, rather than anxiously flailing and striving.
  4. Determine to let nothing stand in the way of living on top of your circumstances instead of below them.
  5. Muster your moxie and hold your ground by replacing negative mental accusations with the truth. Become and over-comer!

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