Paradigms Need to Be Challenged

Rational mind rejects

What if all of you, every part of us is sacred, everything we do? What if we are the container and can’t divide up our coming or going, our cooking or hiking into sacred and secular, because the life within us is complete, worthy of awe and gratitude, as beholding in a mirror the image of perfection?

 

When we live from a place of perfect approval according to God’s complete knowledge of us (and the extent to which He went to prove it), we are set on the path of liberty. It’s only when we fall for or stay entrained to the tempting idea of “I am not” that was initiated ages ago, telling us that we are somehow far below who we truly are that we get seduced and held hostage.

 

Francois Du Toit says, “And so we have exchanged God’s perfect approval of us, based on his perfect knowledge of us, for our imperfect knowledge of ourselves and of one another…”

 

This seductive alternative perspective is one where we have to work to prove ourselves as if we could master our own being separated from our original Source. And it is this very idea of separation that keeps us striving to try harder and to please.

 

Honestly, sometimes I forget that I’ve left the speakers of the “I am not-tree-system” that Francois Du Toit coined, turned up. When I interpret life through deficiency, instead of through the Tree of Life lens of I am perfect, fully graced, loved, secured and accepted, I disempower myself and knock myself out of the race.

 

It’s this “not-enough” lens that burns with a feeling of alienation, shame, inferiority, and being set aside that trips-me-up every time I engage it’s taunts. It tricks me in two ways.

1. In thinking I need to work my way into favor that allures me to grasp for control, and the need to quantify and systemize everything. It’s this outdated vantage point that whispers secret ego enticements to get me to dance, and hustle and pull the skirt over my head to earn my keep; usually without recognizing I am even doing it.

 

2. Sometimes it throws me out of the game, or I throw myself out of the game when I believe I am separated and flawed.

 

Paradoxically, it is this very sting of rubbing me raw incongruence rubbing that causes me to harken to the truer sound, the beckoning whisper of Love that runs through every crevice of my being, awakening me to the truth and challenging the counterfeit with questions instead of answers.

 

For who can predict the day of their birth, or cause their heart to pulse beat after beat with unstoppable life? Who can separate themselves from the womb?

 

It’s this Love that initiates and celebrates what taunts of “not-enough” only swallow up and confine. It’s this Love that expands realms of possibility and discovery beyond my knowing, taking me on a honeymoon romp beyond time and limits.

 

When my mind has me detained by search light wardens and detention guards, I know that I have fallen for the “I am not” reality instead of my spotless design. It’s only arrogance on the lowest of level that causes one to calculate and measure insider and outsider, sacred and secular in others or myself.

 

What if love is the only reality that never ceases to breath, create, morph, and give life, while transcending all dimensions? What if our measuring the world up into our tiny reality isn’t even in the ballpark of what reality truly is?

 

Do you feel boxed in, because you keep putting yourself under the dead-end system of the law? Are you eating the rotten fruit from the “I am not enough” tree and want to eat from the wide-open spaciousness of the Tree of Life?

 

It’s time to think fresh! Register now for the Moxie Me Please! Awakening to Your True Identity Coaching Group beginning in Jan. 2015. Early bird pricing goes up Dec. 10th. Hurry and reserve your spot today!  For information click here!

50 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was Younger

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Sometimes it's important to take stock of what you know. Not for knowledge sake, but as an anchor during wobbly times.

Here is my recent list of 50 things I am sure of at this stage in life. I hold these as valuable treasures that I discovered along the journey. Sometimes I wish I had inherently known them, or had discovered them earlier, but if I had come upon them in another fashion they might not be as valuable to me as they are presently. These are things I want my daughter to know. These are things I want other women to know. These are things I hope you will consider yourself. However, I encourage you to make your own list. Determine what's important to you.

 

50 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was Younger

  1. Your life is more than the contents of your outer world.
  2. Every living thing grows in cycles.
  3. During winter’s barrenness don’t look for a harvest. Understand that deep rooting is taking place.
  4. True happiness is an inside job; so don’t look for happiness externally. You were made for another world.
  5. Refuse to grow up and get stogy. It’s a trick. Stay young at heart.
  6. You will never truly be free if you don’t give yourself permission to be yourself.
  7. Your voice is unique. Don’t exchange it for a copy of someone else’s.
  8. Stop and evaluate every time you hear yourself say, “I should.”
  9. Live into your passion, not a counterfeit named duty.
  10. Mediocrity is never a good tradeoff for living out loud.
  11. Your perspective dictates your attitude. Your attitude dictates your altitude.
  12. Fear makes a lousy master. Own your moxie. Own your voice!
  13. It’s an honor and responsibility to direct your life in the way you want it to go.
  14. You have a built in meter that lets you know when you’re forfeiting your peace so you can realign to maintain peace at the core.
  15. Joy and inauthenticity cannot co-exist. Notice joy deficits.
  16. Ask for what you need and eliminate unspoken expectations. Conversely, it is not your responsibility to make others happy.
  17. Forgiveness is an absolute for a vibrant life.
  18. People add joy to your life, but they don’t define you.
  19. God’s unconditional love is the anchor of life.
  20. Unashamedly express and give the unique gift you carry.
  21. Stress doesn’t come from circumstances, but your reaction to them.
  22. Fitness is a lifestyle. Get outside and run around.
  23. It’s all about love. 
  24. Creativity gets blocked when you betray yourself.
  25. Putting off your dreams puts them off.
  26. Live life as a celebration and make it a party.
  27. Define for yourself what you want your life to look like.
  28. Don’t fill your life with space holders. Make room for what you truly want.
  29. Live with gratitude and you will find you have more to be grateful for.
  30. Don't be afraid to make waves. Resist anyone or thing that tries to silence you.
  31. Don’t wait to be given flowers, buy your own.
  32. Nurture yourself with good, healthy food everyday.
  33. Create your own fun.
  34. Change your mind and your perspective changes.
  35. A man that cheats on his wife to be with you is a cheater. You deserve more.
  36. Give yourself the same benefit of the doubt you give to others.
  37. Rain or shine joy begins on the inside.
  38. Be honest with yourself about what you want.
  39. Define and experience happy feelings and recreated them often.
  40. “No” is a powerful word. Use it to clarify your “yeses”, but not as an excuse to withhold or avoid adventure and possibility.
  41. Sometimes you discover who you are not on the way to who you are.
  42. True identity: knowing you are completely loved and accepted by God.
  43. Your body is beautiful, so enjoy it at every stage. When you are older you will surely wish you understood this earlier!
  44. Hope is a song that keeps your light alive.
  45. Surround yourself with those who celebrate you and not those who shame you.
  46. Life is short. Don’t waste time trying to fit in and be liked. Remember your identity is based in God’s love alone.
  47. You are not your job, your looks, or your bank account. You are a unique expression of love.
  48. Get untamed, stay untamed and live untamed. Let your wild beauty sing like notes from a trumpet.
  49. If you are depressed find out why. Unrealized emotions can wreck havoc within. Get honest with yourself.
  50. Love yourself first, so you can receive and give love back.

I'm In Recovery!

ID-10080991Can I tell you a little secret? I cringe when someone finishes a sentence with an exclamation mark like, “amen!” I cannot stomach Christianese! It immediately makes me feel the need to run for the door, because I smell inauthenticity like day old lobster. I question the rhetoric and parroting. The real person seems to be missing and lacks a clear sense of who they truly are. Although I am learning to see past the camouflage to the person, it’s so close to home that it still causes me to spin, like a sober drunk in a room of drinkers.

I confess I'm in recovery. I’m in recovery from institutional religion. Are you wondering what I’m talking about? I’m talking about trying to mash myself into a misshaped cookie cutter image, rather than be who I am. I am in recovery from a groupthink culture that was slowing killing me, a culture of performance, judgment, striving and preferring ritual above relationship.freedigitalphotos.net

The topic of missing identity that I often write about is real. It’s my story and sadly why much of my thirty-year experience with church culture has felt like a miss hit of smashing my thumb with a hammer. I will be talking more about this in future posts.

Why did it take so long? Why was I trying to be the “good girl” and please so hard? This is what you do if you were the lost child that became the family hero to survive the anguish and emotional abuse of a mom with mental illness. It was in letting go of the ghosts and those that couldn’t bring themselves to make the journey with me that I’ve gotten free. It’s in claiming my true God-image identity that sprung the cage door.

In my journey I’ve stumbled right into a grace encounter, transformation and expansiveness beyond a box sized God into a God that existed before the American church culture’s definition of who God is and who I’m supposed to be. I’ve learned to honor and listen to my inner GPS that signals when I’m betraying myself. I’ve taken up the challenge of vulnerability and authenticity instead of settling for a counterfeit of God, or myself.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAJesus loves me, I love him and much of the rest I leave dangling in the realm of unknowing. I choose to pass on pontificating as best I can. I hope to see and love individuals beyond ego driven, polarizing issues that separate into black and white, either or, as I am learning to live beyond the tightrope of performance. I love my friends that are gay, Buddhist, Hindu and lots of other things. 

Hear this: I am not blaming anyone for my lack of clarity around my identity, or my familiar pull to environments that were unhealthy for me. This is the very journey that led me home to myself. The crazy mixed up way that I got here, the story that reads like a Broadway play matters little (although I can imagine wonderful song and dance numbers that would fit with the movie, Saved!)

The fact that I finally found my path and my way out of the matrix of confusion is the reason I help other women claim their voice, their authentic self and their unique God relationship too.

I don’t mean to offend you, but trying not to offend has kept me small. Trying not to offend kept me on the fence, living incongruently, dishonestly, and inauthentically. Being careful to speak only “what builds up” to be silent when I was told to “keep quiet” kept me controlled and living in decline and demoralization. Now days, I am learning to give myself permission to speak things that don’t always build up, because that’s authentic and something’s need to be torn down before building can begin. That’s what getting untamed means.  It’s about risk and courage to face the gap and not shut the door in fear to those that see the world differently. I’m not writing this for debate, or needing to be right, but needing to be real (although I wouldn't mind a little cheering for standing up in my life in a greater measure.)

Heaven on earth 1I choose to live life as an act of worship and today I choose to invest in relationships over meetings and to be my part in the church all around me. I am not tearing down what you may love and thrive in. There are some awesome church expressions out there, but the truth is church is not a building, or a meeting. You in fact might be someone who sees the faith relationship differently too. This is important to say, because I am learning to care and nurture myself. Warning, please don't post a bunch of Christianese on my page or I will have to delete you! :)

Your struggle may not be with the church. It might be your family dynamics (isn’t that where it all starts anyway?) or a work environment that keeps you peddling faster and faster until you’ve peddled right over yourself. Maybe you understood long ago that the struggle was within yourself and you’ve never tried to please, but abdicated your life anyway. Maybe you’re in transition and you want to start recreating your life again.

You are not late, but right on time to start investing in yourself. The place to start is in loving yourself first.

Maybe you know that this is your time, time to invest in the only life you have! If so here are some ways to begin expanding and investing in yourself.

  • Read the following authors who write about the illusion of ego and faith: Richard Rohr books, New Seeds of Contemplation by Thomas Merton, Jim Palmer books, The Cloud of Unknowing by Elizabeth Obbard
  • Read Untamed Heart, Releasing Your Creative Genius, by me :)
  • Read Daring Greatly, Brene Brown
  • Register for my 12 Week Online Program, Untamed Joy! Discover tools to claim your voice, your identity and your joy!
  • Contact me to find out about 1-on-1 coaching @kimber@moxieme.com