She Chose Herself

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"She work up every mooring with the option of being anyone she wished. How beautiful it was that she always chose herself. "

I love this quote by Tyler Kent White,

This may sound easy, but when we've learned adaptive behavior that's caused personas, we might not even be aware our what is true on the inside. Another wards, we may think we feel one way only to discover below the surface another reality.

Through the process of truly, deeply listening and owning what is being conveyed on the inside, though it may have been previously denied and pushed down, we begin to come into congruence.

We aren't a bunch of pieces walking around. We are whole beings, but until we welcome the parts of ourselves we've orphaned, we will feel fragmented. 

Practice giving yourself permission to listen and respond to the depths of what you hear. Be sure to stand in your own corner. Be sure to choose yourself!

Day 13 of 30 Painting In 30 Days, She Chose Herself

Day 7 Are You Engaging or Merely Stalking?

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This year I sense the nudge of conversation being initiated around questions. One of the questions I hear being asked is: Why are so many women living on the fringe unengaged with each other?

 

I wonder if it's because we’ve been stalking, conditioned to observe from the sidelines of our own lives for so long, watching the louder, more boisterous older sister’s side show. I don't know if you're like me, but it seems that with all that clamoring for attention, I finally bored, turned off the channel and started showing up more fully in my own life.

 

It seems I've gained the ability to tune in, be present and engage more authentically with others and myself, instead of yeah, stalking my life or others from the sideline.

 

Are you a stalker reluctant to engage? I don’t mean debate. I mean engage, relationally. Part of the sideshow I’m bored with is the debate. It never occurred to me that I would only love you if I agreed with you or won you over to my way of seeing things. In fact, if agreeing with me is the only reason you profess love for me, we are pretty dull indeed.

 

I want to live in the over growth of a lush oasis of color, not within a well manicured suburban lawn. I want to hear the noise of people (even when I can’t stand the chatter.) I don’t want to live in the sterile white walls of mediocrity, or conformity, where I close the door and shut you out. I want to continue being someone who cheers and hollers for all players.

 

I guess, that’s why I have always loved relational groups, showing up and doing life together. I can hardly help myself from attempting to start a new group. I crave engagement, over merely observing from the sidelines. Yet, I think many women don't trust the waters and are reluctant to move away from the sidelines. I get it. It’s safer there. I’ve spent my time on the edge too. But when I see so many amazing women off in their own corners, I can’t help, but want to pull open their blinds, call them out into the river to engage and support one another. We need each other. We do!

 

I want to see women jump in the middle of the deep end and help each other swim. Sound scary? Do you have trust issues too? You know, we can't get to the other side without just going through! 

 

Don't you want to experience women clapping loudly for others, and cheering and hooting and beaming at there own beautiful color bleeding into the mix. Don't you want to share the brilliance and innovation you carry, instead of compete, hoard and hide?

 

Are you a stalker, or are you engaging?

 

If you're a woman living in the Charlotte area and would be interested in being a part of a Women Supporting Women Meet-up group. Contact me at: Kimber@moxieme.com

 

Enter Into Irresistible Bliss

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Are you stressing out over the holiday season? Are you planning to strive your way through 2015 with a bigger "To do List" and grander agenda?

Why not sink into grace that reflects the wealth you possess, live and grow at your own pace, move into goal setting with the ease of enjoying the ride? Please accept my

100 Keys to Cease Striving and Enter Into Irresistible Bliss ebookas my gift to you this Christmas season. Get a little Moxie uplift and inspiration through this fun and lively ebook that will help you remember what this season and everyday is all about. Simply email me at:Kimber@moxieme.com with the subject line, Irresistible Bliss ebook and I will email it to you.

 

You can also print off my free Moxie Me Poster above as a reminder of what it means to own your beauty and to be a woman with moxie. I look forward to great things in the New Year in your life and in the lives of women! I hope you will join us in 2015 for the ride.

 

Wishing you and yours all the blessings of Christmas, a happy holiday and New Year!

 

Kimber Britner

Love Surprises

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I found this dandy sticker that says, Love to be surprised on a piece of junk mail and immediately rescuing it, stuck it on my bathroom mirror. I knew there was a message in the text before I even grasped the simplicity of it! Now I regularly stare at this little love note to self while brushing my teeth and putting on my makeup. I am reminded that I am loved to be surprised! Just thinking about the nature of love makes me giddy and sends me twirling!

 

The thing about love is that it goes beyond normal reality. Have you ever heard someone that’s fallen in love, describe mundane, rational thoughts or feelings? Love’s signature is that you fall. We say falling “head over heels” because we tumble over ourselves in the best of ways, so that head is no longer the leader. We move beyond our rational thinking and all it’s limitations. We return to being the girl or boy that believed the sky was the limit.

 

It’s when we return to love, that we enter into Love’s surprises and we enjoy the nature of surprise lurking beyond the lattice, watching and waiting to lavish goodness at every turn. Diving into the depths and heights of love we are able to move out of pain and disappointment, needing to “know” and needing to be in control. We simply bask in Love’s intoxication.

 

I love good surprises and I know that I am Loved to be surprised! Are you in need of a good love overhaul that banishes doubt and rationale for some overdue merriment and joy? Let the mere thought of being so fully, wildly, out of control and opulently loved cause you to fall over your head!

Does What Worked For You Once Work For You Today?

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In 1997 the second year Christmas rolled around after my husband Bill passed away, my smart welding grandmother tossed out a new idea. Instead of having me slave in the kitchen for an elaborate Christmas dinner, we would order Chinese take-out. This idea became a family tradition that we continued to celebrate for years, along with serving up a smorgasbord of Hors d'oeurvre on Christmas Eve.

 

Now that the kids are on the West coast and I will be celebrating Christmas with my East Coast family, things look differently and therefore need to be reexamined. It’s been said that change is the only thing that remains consistent. To stay in sync with change, intentional choices must consistently be examined and exercised.

 

Are you living in default, or are you making deliberate choices today and in the season to come?

 

It’s important to look at your life regularly and evaluate what you are tolerating and what you would actually choose instead. Process the information in this manner:

1. Ask yourself, “What do I want?” Although this might seem obvious, you’d be amazed how many people shuffle along through life without addressing what has been placed in them to nurture and to live out.

 

2. After identifying what you want, it is important to: Determine where you are at this moment in relation to your desire, dreams, vision and goals.

 

3. Determine the next right step to move forward toward your vision or goals and take incremental, intentional action.

 

Even the most independent of us needs regular support in life, including those that live in the woods, provide their own food, and live off the grid. Each of us needs to link arms with those who have different skill and gift sets.

 

As you determine what your goals are in the season ahead, consider joining the Moxie Me Please! Coaching Group to help you unearth your gold, gain clarity and vision around your voice, your passion and your true identity, move closer to your vision, and get activated.

 

One of my goals for 2015 is to support more women in stewarding and activating the wealth that they carry.

 

Click here for information on the Moxie Me Please! Coaching Group 

 or email me at: Kimber@moxieme.com

 

Don’t deny yourself the affordable support you need, because you lack vision, intention, follow through or resolve to see your goals materialize. Join us!

 

Things Clients have said:

“Thank you so much for taking the time to invest in me. I have some renewed vision and inspiration…”  

 "I had such great fruit from our session. God brought the whole thing to the surface for months after.  I love your sense of freedom and creativity. It's truly inspiring!" 

"You bring out peoples inner bling!"

"The first session of the program did something so deep, it was awesome!"

"Kimber you’ve been instrumental in provoking forward thinking in me. I love how you empower women. You’re the type that gently leads…you have a strong grace. I would guess that would be GRACE & TRUTH, together. Then you release! I’ve never felt judged by you and you truly have a spirit of counsel. I feel safe with you!"

Graceful Living

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Recently a friend asked me why I hadn’t been blogging. I told her that I was processing, staying away from “have tos” and simply engaging in living. Actually I have been traveling, feasting on love, preparing to introduce my new book to my ladies book club and helping to walk the women I coach into the expansiveness of a fully loved identity. I try to stay connected with many of you through my regular automated posts in social media and a sprinkling of spontaneous input (no, I'm not on Facebook and Twitter all day long as it may seem!)  :-) 

 

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Previously I spent years striving to apprehend things off in the distance, following the model of other good strivers, exhausting myself in the cup-de-dac of behavior modification and fear of shirking some misled idea of duty with nothing to show for it but stress and exhaustion. I spent years in heartbreak clinging to what should have been, as it slipped from my fingers and off into eternity. I carried pain, but it was not the companion I was meant to embrace. Now I can't imagine a greater reality than simply enjoying and basking in a fully loved life.

When we recognize God’s breathtaking love display in the here and now, the completeness of what He's done and His overwhelming pleasure and acceptance of us, a transformational grace awakening can't help but eclipse all of our zealous self-effort and the illusion of separation we sometimes feel. And that's when we begin to live from love's overflow. 

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If you are worn out, run ragged by a to do list taskmaster berating you with all you must work up, and if you long to jump off into the bliss of rest and joy, soaking in a fully loved and grace filled reality, join me in the grace filled life. Out of a place of love completeness vision and purpose naturally follow, but sometimes we try to put the horse before the cart and wonder why she can't run. For further support contact me about coaching for the grace filled life at: kimber@moxieme.com

 

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Say "Yes" to Express!

logo with borderSay, "Yes" to express! Isn’t it time?

It’s way over due for many of you and the launch of Art Girl’s Sanctuary has been a long time coming for Moxieme. With our recent relocation (yes, again!) we're so excited to be offering new additions to our fabulous coaching workshops, events and retreats in the Charlotte area.

Come on over and check out the great offerings at http://moxieme.com/art-girls-sanctuary/ and schedule some fun time to create. You know you need it!

Here’s the good news: You don’t have to be an artist to reap the benefits of releasing your creativity. Giving yourself time to create is like sunshine to a flower. It causes you to stretch and grow in all areas of your life.

Come play a while, let your grown-up self take a break from mommying, taxi driving, brain overload, workaholic syndrome and every other thing weighing you down. You are worth the small investment. Bring a friend and come to the Art Girl’s Sanctuary to get enlivened and refreshed. It's a way of life!

Check out our many workshops here: http://moxieme.com/art-girls-sanctuary/

 What’s Going On At Moxieme Now?

Moxieme still offers one-on-one coaching, so if you’ve been putting off hiring a coach to help you get unstuck, or to simply support you in strategically moving your vision forward, now is the time to contact us. Email: Kimber@moxieme.com

We also are taking names for a new group coaching program starting in Jan. 2015

If you’d be interested in a Monthly Untamed Heart Coaching Group with designated monthly focus, weekly exercises, access to my online programs and additionally a once a month in person group meet-up (for those out of the Charlotte area a monthly live group coaching call) contact me for information and affordable monthly fee structure at: kimber@moxieme.com with the subject line: Group Coaching and tell me about your interest.

If you are interested in attending a Daring WayTm Retreat this fall, please email me as well to be added to the list.

If you are interested in hosting a Daring WayTm Retreat or any of the Art Girl’s Sanctuary Workshops in your area, for goodness sakes let me know and lets plan and dream together.

If you're in the Charlotte area and interested in hosting and being apart of a support team for a Daring WayTm Retreat in your home or other location (it must be a warm, inviting space with privacy) contact me at: Kimber@moxieme.com We love cheerleaders and pied pipers who support seeing this work made available to women.

Join Nicole Greer and I each Friday Morning at 7:30 am ET for A Little Bit Vibrant and A Little Bit Moxie Blog Talk Radio Show. We cover relevant topics and always bring you coaching tips that will help you live into the possibilities. Follow me on Facebook and you will see the regular posts and links as a reminder. www.facebook.com/kimberbritnesbiz

Happy summer to ya'll! 

Do Christians Have It Wrong?

Personal faithThirsty years ago my suicidal, bulimic Hollywood existence collided with a power I had never experienced. This Love so ransacked my world that I was instantaneously healed of an eating disorder that I had been plagued with for years.  I’ve never had to binge on loaves of bread, boxes of cereal or pass out from the high carbohydrate intake again. I’ve enjoyed the freedom of eating one cooking and not two bags.

 

Naively and eagerly I jumped into my new Christian world with an open heart and open hands. I followed instructions like an astute soldier, “Don’t do this” and “do a lot of that,” struggling for years to work harder to become someone acceptable and pleasing to God.

 

I excelled at this new version of self-help and peddled faster and harder to merely end up as desperate and suicidal as I had been in my old life. It was the mercy of God that I couldn’t jump as high as some hoop holders required, landing me ousted from the “insiders” club and branded as an “outsider,” still to this day by many.

This striving to placate a God-over-there, always out of reach, needing to be appeased, so He’ll show up, touch lives and bring revival, keeps the hamster wheel turning, and with it the need to always work harder, as if God was insufficient.

 

As I got in touch with a huge incongruence with this version of the Gospel and began to grasp the true nature of God’s Love, my endless need to do something to define my identity and help Him out began to erode.

 

God swung the doors of the prisons open. He never intended that fear would contain the captives instead of reveal their freedom.

 

Why do we think a bitter, schizophrenic cocktail of judgment, fear, shame and a “work harder” ethic are holy? Why do we think they entice one to love in the slightest? It’s amazing anyone stays in the faith with this message.

 

Only do-gooders and rule keepers have a stake in plumping their nests, but Jesus had nothing to do with them. He preferred the rough and tumble authenticity of real humanity.

 

One can never grasp their true identity without seeing it through the eyes of love and the eyes of the spirit. God doesn’t parcel out snippets of love to the worthy. God is Love and consistently exhibits audacious demonstrations of His nature because of who He is, despite any attempt of worthiness on our part. It never changes. There is no inside or outsider in Love.

 

Love always exists.

 

Recognizing our completeness invalidates any attempt to add to it. Seeing God, ourselves, or others through any other lens is sure to be slanted.

 

If your someone who thinks you need to work for something that’s already yours, go ahead if you want to, but I’m slipping my shoes off, taking a sip of love’s refreshing goodness, because I’ve retired from striving and seeking what’s already been lavished upon me.

 

My identity is forever secure as one that is Love-embraced. What else is there to add?

 

If you feel the need to peddle a hard yielding message and the idea of grace that you had nothing to do with just flies in the face of your set-the-world-right-heroism, please feel free to unfriend me. But guess what, even your faith is a gift and not your own.

 

As for me, I am a grateful recipient of Love’s outrageous goodness. Long gone are the days of jumping through hoops! I am complete and mystically placed smack dab into divinity. While I cannot begin to comprehend this, I am okay with being a happy recipient!

Are You A Jonah?

Whale freeI am a Jonah. I’ve been a runner most of life. You’d think Asthma would have slowed me down, but I’ve always kept my track shoes primed and ready for an exit.  I’m darn skilled with an exit plan. We moved thirteen times before I graduated from high school, so I’m well trained.

I imagine most of us at some time or another have been some kind of Jonah, taking off in our own direction despite what’s best for us and despite true north flashing the way home. I sure have taken many a detour, not always intentionally, but blindly boarded ships heading in the wrong direction until I awoke from my confusion and received tutelage in the belly of my own whale!

It would be nice if I could read a story like Jonah and not have to live it, but truth be told, I learn from life experience. I usually have to “live it to learn it.” I have to be so wrapped up in seaweed; ready to surrender, before I can come up for air, stand beachside, soggy but liberated with a new handful of gold. 

Some of you might be thinking,

“Boy, she’s come through a lot, but why is she always talking about this inner work? Doesn’t she know that will kill her business? Why did she stop dead in her tracks during that expensive mastermind, chirping about incongruence? Or why is she always focusing on authenticity, vulnerability, getting clear of shame and finding your true Creator made identity? What a buzz kill! Give me that fast ship heading to blitz town!”

In which case I would say,

“Did you miss the part where Jonah was heading in the opposite direction from where God told him to go and was intercepted by an appointment with a whale?”

Been there done that!

Those, like me, that are tenacious and have heard all the brave “Never Give Up” anthems might think you only need apply a little more stick-to-itiveness and voila your in business. You might be thinking, “I got this doing-it-my-way-success-thing”, while you count your coins on the way to the bank. But your counterfeit deposit will prove meaningless later, while an awkward and uncomfortable course correction now, will result in a lasting deposit in the future.

When you’ve been in the dark belly of a whale long enough, suddenly like Jonah you recognize your captivity, misalignment and the blindness you couldn’t previously perceive.  Suddenly your whale becomes an immense gift when you discover that those with the most toys don’t win. In fact, they end up empty and bankrupt.

Most people get wrapped up in plenty of seaweed at sometime or another in search of the right fit and a deep sense of love and belonging. Researcher Brenè Brown tells us that the difference between those that abide in the sweet pocket of love and belonging and those that struggle for it, is simply that they believe they’re worthy of it. That’s it!

So running out of town to avoid disapproval, or sailing on a ship named “hustle for acceptance” or sporting some ill-fitting mask to gain what you think is missing is actually like taking a huge detour on the slow boat to China. I’ve tried it! Every feel like you’re on the slow bus, while everyone else is sailing through? Ever feel like you can’t compromise the slightest or you end up, well, compromised and you can’t figure out how others get away with it. The truth is they don’t!

When Deciding Which Ship to Board, Remember:

The ramification of surrendering to true identity fidelity, purpose and value congruence that arrests your appetite from the superfluous is entirely different than giving up due to a lack of faith and discouragement. In truth, it takes huge faith to pass on the shinny carrot of “You-can-have-it-all-now-Mardi-Gras-style,” for a less blingy internal upgrade of peace, congruence and true worth without ever lifting your skirt.

If you’ve had a belly of a whale (slow boat to China) encounter it’s probably dawned on you that you just can’t out run God. There’s no hiding place, mantra, program, or strategy that will outwit the upstairs team, or change the results of a misdirected route or unrealized true identity.

Are you feeling a little squirmy in your gut, because these words are hitting their mark? It’s hard to dismiss or shift the blame when the personal-application-finger is pointing straight at you. Believe me I know!

If you’ve been chasing after all the quick fix, blitz makers, while your insides feel conflicted and betrayed, I challenge you to stop dead in your tracks, get quiet and ask for the eyes of your heart to be opened so that you can truly see. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been avoiding, or running or shuffling or hustling. Today you can turn the ship around, head back to port for the start of something true!

If you want support in getting the seaweed untangled, to experience a new sense of love and belonging, congruence with your inner values and focus on what truly matters, contact me about personal coaching or hosting a workshop for your small group with the same intent. Kimber@moxieme.com

Join us for The Daring Way™ Retreat May 2nd and 3rd near beautiful Asheville, NC and start the journey to live brave, find congruence and celebrate whole hearted living. www.daringinlife.com

Photo credit: freedigitalphotos.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Naked Truth

DW_HeavyQuoteImages5I am convinced the reason we so often get stuck in life is because of shame. Shame is not often identified, or recognized, hidden underneath the recesses of our well-armored and perfected shields that work hard to deflect our fear of not being enough. Shame is a dirty word we’d rather skip over. We’d rather numb shame’s association, so we can avoid further threat of exposure even though it causes us to live at half-mast.

Shame has repeatedly taken me down, kept me in hiding, appeasing or defending even though I didn’t recognize that I danced with shame. The fact is we all do! I had almost convinced myself that I was as strong as my shields of protection expressed. I had it down until it bit me in the butt and my inauthenticity erupted in an unsettled incongruence, a deep soul thirst that no cloak of “spirituality” do-gooding, or meeting attendance could fix.

 

Raised by a mom with mental illness and an absent father, I’ve acquired some strong survival techniques. Losing my dear younger brother who took his own life at twenty-five serves as a constant reminder that though things might look tidy on the outside, they rarely are.

The thing is, my well-established armor that helped me survive my childhood, stopped serving me any longer. The hustle of striving to be a “good girl” and showing up perfect was a heavy weight to bear. So I’ve been learning to lay down this twenty-ton shield and learn a better way, a new language that is core to healing and allowing me to move beyond survival into whole-hearted living. This language of authenticity includes speaking about my experiences, and speaking about shame.

 

As long as we think we have to achieve some measure of acceptance, love, success or worthiness through our own efforts, we will always be hustling and toting a twenty-ton shield and we’ll never know rest. We will forever be churning out our best attempts at making ourselves acceptable.

 

Striving is an exhausting attempt at working to be enough. None of the self-help, church attending, “do gooding,” mojo will keep us off the treadmill of lack unless we get a true identity makeover.

 

It’s only when we acknowledge our inability apart from God to experience completeness that we come back into experiencing the acceptance that already exists. Our attempt to make ourselves worthy thwarts our ability to receive the acceptance that is readily available and that says we are already enough.

 

No perception of being an insider or outsider could ever separate us from the fact that we are already defined as fully loved by God. No higher degree, having raised picture perfect children, obtaining the perfect waistline, a hefty bank account, or popularity. No resounding rhetoric, no amount of church attendance, martyrdom, grandstanding, entrepreneurial success, or high acclaim among the masses can add to our intrinsic worth, nothing!

 So how do we retrain our tendency to measure ourselves from the outside in, while shame and “not enough” track at our heels?

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We keep ourselves in love, in the “I am loved” reality, because we are love branded! No posturing, or shadow dancing will ever suffice to earn what’s already ours.

 

By letting this perfect love soak into every fiber of our being, and saturate us to the core, we can slough off and counter every strong-armed shame lie, every “not enough” chorus with the knowledge that we are love marked. We can grow shame resilience with awareness that God’s love makes us enough.

 

The fact that we are imperfect mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, friends and the likes is a reality simply stirring in its beauty. We were loved before and after we ever failed at anything, or before we even existed. We are enough because God loves us and thought enough to create us. We can reframe our shame of “I’m not enough” to “I am fully loved and enough as I am.”

 

Do you ever feel out of sync and don’t know why? Do you ever feel things aren’t working and you can’t get a grasp on how to make the shift?

 

If you want to love yourself beyond shame shields, broken down fences and your personal boarder patrols, disappointment, outsider/insider mentality, feeling unloveable, not hip enough, not young enough, not sexy enough, not Christian/spiritual enough, not funny enough, not favored enough, or high-profile enough and if you want to get filled and anchored in love and whole-hearted living, join us for the Women’s Daring Way™ Retreat this Oct. I am a Professional Life Coach and Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator-Candidate (CDWF-Candidate.) Join a small, intimate group of imperfect women, in a cozy, safe environment, as I lead you through a transformative, creative, laughter provoking, love filling, liberty-getting weekend. :)

Get rid of that twenty-ton shield and live in the overflow of being fully loved! www.daringinlife.com  Reserve your spot now. Space is limited.

For further info. email me at: info@daringinlife.com or kimber@moxieme.com

A New Model That Carries Real Weight

ID-10042153As some of you know I just returned from a creative retreat in Nashville. I have attended many creative retreats and women’s events over the years. I even host my own workshops and retreats, but something made this one different. That's what I hope to communicate in this post.

I, like an eager and hopeful little girl looking for the pony in the stall of manure have continued to search for my “community” and “tribe”, even though many a women’s retreat have felt like forcing myself into a small shoe box when I feel more like a pair of boots. 

I find life often speaks allegorically. One of my own personal parables began to surface about five or six years ago when I was traveling to Los Angeles to lead a workshop and was surprisingly upgraded to first class on my flight.

Upon returning to the airport for my flight home I learned that my flight had somehow been deleted during my previous upgrade. By the time the ticket agent got me back on the flight I had to scurry through the airport to make my connection.

As providence would have it I was stopped at the security checkpoint and searched from head to toe before rushing to make my connection. This wasn't just any search. As I approached the checkpoint a guard screamed a warning code to the other agents at which point we were ordered to stop in our tracks, because of a possible threat. A few seconds later we were cleared to proceed being informed that it was merely a warning test.

Hopping on the plane before the doors closed I suddenly noticed that my seat was an absolute downgrade. I quickly surmised that this was the worst seat on the plane! It was the last seat on the last row, up against the window. Since I now had become accustomed to first class, I had a bit of an attitude until I received a divine message and made an adjustment.

The message I received was as follows. We all have the opportunity to seek a high place of prominence, or humble ourselves and take the low seat. We can be certain that we will go through a “security checkpoint” sometime or another to evaluate our choices. A true upgrade of the first class nature comes through humility. It was loud and clear. Put yourself at the head of the table and you could be asked to move. Put yourself on the low plain (plane) and you will be elevated in due time. When you humble yourself you will be a carrier of true influence.

The saga continued. Three years later my son Samuel and I were at the Charlotte NC airport waiting to board a flight to Los Angeles where our family was relocating. We had our guitars with us when a famous band arrived in the gate area. The guitar player noticed our guitars and tossed my son a guitar pic.

After getting settled on the plane I noticed some commotion with an unhappy passenger whose seat wouldn't recline in the isle across from me. The flight attendant found a willing passenger to swop seats with the disgruntled man and suddenly the guitar player was sitting across from me. At that moment I knew some divine configuring was taking place and their was a message for me in the mix.

The guitar player and I spent the flight talking about his world as a single dad, his periodic substitute teaching in his son’s school, along with his years of touring with a mega star. I noticed immediately that there was no aroma of celebrity wafting about from this time tested, seasoned musician as he pleasantly chatted with Sam and I. 

I quickly gleaned the powerful take-away that my divinely arranged airplane travel provided for me and this was it: There are those who will seek to live from celebrity, but there is a greater choice and that is of relationship. The authenticity and humility the musician demonstrated was significant. He chose the lower seat. The attention and kindness he demonstrated toward my child spoke volumes about the kindness God demonstrates toward each of his children. 

The retreat I attended was led by yet another group of accomplished individuals, yes, celebrities in their fields, who humbly laid down their badges for authenticity, transparency and relationship. There was no feeling of striving or controlling to reach a perceived outcome. This was not token humility, talking about humility, but then actually controlling overtly, insisting on conformance, playing by established rules and regurgitating the old as if it were new. This was true freedom! I’ve heard babble about humility for years, but have often witnesses it traded in for the counterfeit of ego and  competition, a lot of the lesser, while forfeiting the greater it many a life, including my own. 

I still can’t get my head around the high level of participants. This was no sissy crowd. The women had been through a lot of “stuff” and were authentic, okay with where they were at, not needing to be fixed or trying to fix others! We were tracking, okay with not having all of the answers, okay with unknowing and with simply being! There was no pressure to perform or to dumb down. OMG! This was my tribe!

Don't misunderstand me. These women are human and have skin on too. But they have clearly made the right choice and it is and it will affect many. True authority only comes with humility. Free welding love makes room and space for true connection above agenda or ritual. I have seen first hand that it will invariably carry the whole flight to a new level. 

How To Make What You Don't Know Work For You

IMG_1888I confess I am a repeat offender when it comes to misuse of verbiage. I’m one that causes the grammar police to cringe reading my posts on Facebook. Does that stop me? Heck no!

Years ago dining with a pastor and group of his friends I casually threw out the word Gonad! Can you believe it? Yes I did! Suddenly silence rolled over the group of alarmed parishioners. Of course when I got home my husband explained that the slang I used to reference an idiotic person technically was defining male anatomy rarely mentioned in church!

Another time I spoke of my shoe fetish and was informed by yet another pastor/friend that the word fetish was not relevant to shoes, because it referred to sorcery and sexual fixations.

You’d think those two encounters alone would have stopped me in my tracks and sparked an immediate case of laryngitis, but boldly I continue to speak and write. The truth is you just don’t know what you don’t know!

In the same manner I regularly grab my spot in the front of my Zumba class so I have a good view and can attempt to copy every move the instructor makes. I learn by getting in the thick of things, so I’ve never considered standing in the back of the room where others might prefer to hangout.

The truth is many people are waiting for permission. Permission to act, to think differently and to challenge what might not be working in their lives. I’ve been that person waiting for permission, waving the “good girl” flag looking for validation until I realized I was missing out on a whole lot of life.

I’ve heard it said, “Its easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.”

I’ve determined the best way to make what you don’t know work for you is to:

  • Give yourself permission to step out of your comfort zone. You can always ask for forgiveness later!
  • Don’t be afraid to challenge what you think, or what you think you think!
  • Step out even though you might make a mistake. It will give you something to laugh about later!
  • Realize you will learn a lot about life and yourself when you do.
  • Don’t worry if you’re politically correct. Define how you want to play the game of life.

Are You A Safe Place to Come Home to?

Is your heart safeSometimes I feel the need to guard my heart turf. You know those days when an aspect of life feels unsafe and the warning signal starts flashing to enlist the boarder patrol?

I have triggers. We all do. Many of us grew up in a home with an unstable parent and went on to experience a culture of instability. What wouldn’t set off triggers?

I’ve learned to help my trigger-reactive heart through dangerous landmines. I’ve come to understand that my triggers are in place to protect me. They signal a perceived threat. Sometimes the threat may only be imagined, reminding me of a previous experience. That is when I get the opportunity to reevaluate my reaction and response in the here and now, choosing to reframe outdated Intel. Other times I may sense the real need to protect myself from intruders breaching my boarders.

This is never a neat and tidy operation, because our hearts are not machines.  However, getting comfortable with untidiness helps us befriend our heart rather than betray it. 

This is particularly challenging for those of us that are feelers. I feel “things” long before I understand what I am feeling. My heart seems to be a forerunner forever out in the trenches. It goes a head as a reconnaissance mission returning with information. Then I have the challenge of understanding what to do with this information.

Often I discover that what I am feeling has nothing to do with me. I am picking up some other concern, or another person’s issues. But then there are the times that I understand that I have taken a hit and need to examine the breach in the wall.

How about you? Do you allow your heart room to feel and express when it gets tweaked? Do you provide a safe haven to process and evaluate your useful, misplaced, or out of date Intel? The sooner we befriend our own heart, the less it will need to hit the panic button.

When we listen to our heart's clues we will be a safe place. As the author of Untamed Heart, I am all about possessing an untamed heart , but that will never become an option if we don’t feel safe. How safe are you? 

Choosing a Scandalous Life

waterwalkerI was raised in the South, and although I lived in eleven different states before I was eighteen, a southern upbringing dies hard. I come from a line of women who slid on their kid leather, pearl-buttoned gloves, perfectly- matched shoes and purse for their regular church attire. My childhood memories are packed with visions of southern niceties. Ahh! Lately I have been contemplating my kids’ obsessive love of clothes and continually fussed-over locks, but haven’t they gotten the very traits I discredit from moi? Let’s blame it on the South! Fortunately, I don’t have Darlene Real’s memory of her grandmother’s attempt to look good even when gathering eggs from the chicken coop— she wore high heels—but there is just something about a southern upbringing that constantly tries to pull you back into line with magnetic force, like a student waving a magnet in science class to collect stray iron filings.

That’s when good ole southern Pentecostal faith is needed to resist the pull—the water-walking kind of faith that sees the far-off destination and points its feet in its direction. It does what any self-respecting untamed heart must do—get out of the boat and walk on water. -Kimber Britiner, Untamed Heart: Releasing Your Creative Genius, 2013

An untamed heart is always moving boldly beyond the status quo and into the unknown. How are you moving boldly beyond your status quo? What water walking do you need to attempt?

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Want It Real?

True Color 1 This week I shared a vulnerable part of myself with a new friend and immediately felt the need to nail up boards of protection around my heart. As raw emotions surfaced so did the recognition of a normal human longing to be loved and accepted. My fortress of defense had been a natural response to previous environments where I didn’t feel loved, protected or treasured.

I believe most women want it real. Yet some may not realize the defenses they've established that keep them anything but real. Beneath those defenses lies a longing to be accepted for who we truly are.

Ego has a way of setting up camp to defend and protect, while awareness offers the opportunity to risk vulnerability, greater authenticity and ultimately freedom. When we are willing to risk the vulnerability of truly being ourselves we are living from an untamed authentic heart. To truly live from an untamed heart means living it real and not settling for a counterfeit! 

When you feel the need to recoil into safety try checking in with your heart. Identify the buttons being triggered and then determine how your authentic self (outside of ego) chooses to respond and care for itself.

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Money Trap

Kimberism: The foundation determines what will be built. We are in a new age where statistics tell us that women are spearheading a new force of entrepreneurialism across the globe. One of the most significant shifts we are seeing is that women are modeling business in a new way. Instead of driven by the need to win and beat out their competitors, many women are doing business through a win-win model that supports others, rather than tears them down.

There is also a mindset shift where heart-centered entrepreneurs are realizing that they can receive compensation for their expertise. This is crucial advancement for many heart-centered entrepreneurs who have never offered their expertise for money in the first place and often have under valued their skill. This is a needed upleveling for many heart-centered entrepreneurs.

However, there lies the challenge for women of maintaining balance rather than following suit with the old competitive model of chasing after the consuming jingle of money that ultimately overrides the heart in heart-centered.

I see many women who are are chomping at the bit to get out on the playing field, yet often what they end up creating is not what they truly want. I have seen the insatiable hunger for money trap many entrepreneurs rather than liberate them. If we fall for the snare of building something that is not aligned with our values it will become a trap and not a place of fulfillment, or liberty, no matter how successful it may appear from the outside.

For myself and the heart-centered women I serve it is important to create something that is driven by inspiration, creativity, and bliss, rather than striving for money.

Living into your moxie is about defining your own unique spark, not cloning everyone else’s model. That means honing in on your own core values, and passion, not merely following the current tide. That's what we help women do.

Life is to precious to live outside of bliss. If you are tired of the insatiable pursuit of money and want to wake up excited about your life, rather than drained and depleted from serving others values, follow us into a blissful ride through our Cease Striving Campaign. You can experience the joy of an authentic life and business that is driven by bliss. Look for our upcoming program!

 

Seeing the Unseen

Kimberism: When something within us is disowned it wrecks havoc.

The Latin root of creation is literally “to bring forth.” I believe what stands in the way of bringing forth all that is in us is our inability to consistently move past the present that is looming larger than life and see into vast, unseen possibility.  

If you've ever birthed you know how difficult transition can be. You feel confused and anxious around your lack of clarity and inability to see the manifestation of what you are birthing. In the moment when you feel like giving up, as many women call tell you, you have to focus, do the work that is before you and believe in the fulfillment of what is yet unseen. 

I am, in a season of “bringing forth” like many of you. So it’s no surprise that we have to muster up our moxie and push past the messages that tell us to, “Give up, move aside,” or simply “lay down.”

The thing is once we do muster our moxie, and refuse to be taken down, we will see the birth of the promise.  That’s why it was no surprise that I met a woman last night at an event who invited me to close my eyes and pick one of her beautifully whimsical note cards. The card I picked just happened to say, “If you can see it you can be it.” 

What vision are you struggling to see manifest? Have you given up, because all evidence is saying, “Beneath that baby bump is just hot air?” Don’t give up! Hold on to your moxie, keep focused on your work and watch for the manifestation of your vision.

 Moxie Me Institute helps heart-led entrepreneurial women and entrepreneur wannabes rev up their business savvy and bring their greatness, purpose and passion to the world, through live events, teleseminars, personal coaching, powerful resources, tools, and education. We invite you to join our community of heart centered, spunky, female entrepreneurs. Follow us at:

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